The Cole Smithey Thread

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It's so weird that Cole is so cringe worthy that using his brother and his weird vagina against him wouldn't even matter. It's like throwing shit at a pile of shit. The whole cwc pile is a big pile, but Coles pile although small isn't going to grow much. If a pile of shit falls on a pile of shit and No one cares, did it ever happen?
 
Cole is just a pretentious wanna be hipster with a passion for being an asshole. Anyone who can call himself The Smartest Film Critic in the World with no irony intended and ask for $250 to spend time with him is a douchebag of monumental proportions. No one would give a fuck about him if it weren't because of him being Chris' half-brother. (Unless you take the infamous Toy Story 3 review in account)

sourrascal said:
Does he really get so few views?
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His most viewed video has 263,787 views, but it has a 45/42 like/dislike ratio. Then the next one is his Freddy Got Fingered review, with 12,315 views and a 27/50 ratio. And then pretty much all his videos have a few thousand of a few hundred views, or don't even make it to 100. Most of them have more dislikes than likes too.
 
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ObeseScreamingBlackMan said:
Sometimes he doesn't even get past 20
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Cole is a crappy critic. I've seen him dole out negative reviews because he was triggered by a film's 'values.'

This is not how an objective person experiences art. He only wants movies to be a product for him that buttress his beliefs without offering the least bit of challenge to his expectations. Hell, even Michael Medved praised Brokeback Mountain, and he hates da gays. When Cole is similarly subjected to a film that challenges his worldview, he just dismisses it as inherently broken.
 
Ted_Breakfast said:
Cole is a crappy critic. I've seen him dole out negative reviews because he was triggered by a film's 'values.'

This is not how an objective person experiences art. He only wants movies to be a product for him that buttress his beliefs without offering the least bit of challenge to his expectations. Hell, even Michael Medved praised Brokeback Mountain, and he hates da gays. When Cole is similarly subjected to a film that challenges his worldview, he just dismisses it as inherently broken.
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Cole rarely enjoys movies unless they're some pretentious art house crap or a movie that everyone else already has considered a classic film (which he only does when he does a "classic film review"). Seriously, go to his site. The vast majority of his reviews are for foreign films or indie trash that is made by these "hipper than thou" directors who think they're coming at you with never before explored territory, but in reality, they're all films that have been done before, and have been done with better actors, better pacing, and a better script.

He's not willing to take any risks. Because heaven forbid he says he actually likes a movie that was made for the masses, lest he anger his pretentious friends that he drinks microbrews with.

I take that back. Cole is very selectively brave. He will be brave when he thinks it will get him attention or make him standout. Like the time he was proudly able to boast he was one of the ONLY people who gave Toy Story 3 a bad review.

This is why Cole will never make it big. He's not doing anything that people can't get from other already established critics.
 
Galvatron said:
I take that back. Cole is very selectively brave. He will be brave when he thinks it will get him attention or make him standout. Like the time he was proudly able to boast he was one of the ONLY people who gave Toy Story 3 a bad review.
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Thing is, despite that claim, she still praised the damn thing and only complained about the 3D and how "It's too scary for kids". And he still has to share with Armond White in that claim on top of that.

So really, it's kind of pointless to go about saying that, even if it's partially true.
 
How does Cole make a living. Does his wife pay for everything? How did he survive before then? I mean, I can't imagine his career as a critic pays the bills. I can't find anything about him aside from his own website and youtube channel, rottentomatoes, the cwcki, and an article where Roger Ebert calls him an idiot.
 
The Other Chandler said:
How does Cole make a living. Does his wife pay for everything? How did he survive before then? I mean, I can't imagine his career as a critic pays the bills. I can't find anything about him aside from his own website and youtube channel, rottentomatoes, the cwcki, and an article where Roger Ebert calls him an idiot.
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I can't find that but I randomly wandered across this on some other site. It's Cole Smithey arguing that Spongebob is not just gay, but pedo bait.

"SpongeBob's best friend Patrick has a crush on the King's mermaid daughter — so that knocks him out of homoerotic contention for SpongeBob's affections. The only gay affiliation SpongeBob has in the movie is his physical connection with a scantily clad adult male (David Hasselhoff) and that is a pedophile connection that's supported by the text of which I've provided several examples. James Dobson et al. are wrong about SpongeBob: he isn't gay. It's much worse, for the right, the left, and everyone in between. He is attracted to older men, and therein lies the pro-pedophile propaganda at work here. I can't say whether or not this consciously crafted ploy is effective or not, but the attempt to push a brash new NAMBLA-like agenda is unmistakable. The questions that the religious right needs to ask are how and why they ever confused homosexuality with pedophilia. Not only does blurring this issue do gays a disservice, it lets SpongeBob get away with murder."

It's on a thread about the dumbest movie reviews you ever read, oh and it's on NeoGAF no less. Needless to say a few posts later people bring up his relation to his more famous brother Chris.
 
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