🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
BOLDYSPICY! said:
In other news, I can't wait until Connor comes back to tell us all about his job interview at Publix. Maybe we'll even see a picture of him in his uniform like he promised.
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and then comes the post a week later about how he quit or got fired but really it's because it was cutting into his writing time.
 
BlueArmedDevil said:
and then comes the post a week later about how he quit or got fired but really it's because it was cutting into his writing time.
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Ha, probably not even that.
Count groudon said:
Tfw you put more effort into bullshitting through an essay than Connor does working on his writing.
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I'm pretty sure most of us have put more effort into taking a shit than Connor has with his writing.
 
He's not going to apply. I'd say he'd get stuck on the application form, but the idea of him even picking one up is optimistic.
 
If Connor's not posting the e-mails I'll stick to my assumption he got laughed off by Vordrak.
 
registereduser said:
He's not going to apply. I'd say he'd get stuck on the application form, but the idea of him even picking one up is optimistic.
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You don't even have to ask or even interact with another human being to apply at Publix--all stores have a little kiosk in the front. All Connor would have to do would go up to that, punch in a few answers to questions, and go back to his room to watch '80s movies and masturbate. He won't, though, (and he wouldn't even if they had an online application) because he doesn't want a job. He doesn't want to improve. He wants everyone to tell him how great he is with no effort on his part, and how it's ok that he just sits around all day, takes two or three classes a year, lives off of his parents, and doesn't take advice from his therapist.
 
Write the first paragraph legit and then the rest just copy paste from something. The more ridiculous that something is, the better. He probably wouldn't even read anything past the first para.
 
r00 said:
Just tell him you've already done it, and link him to a quickly thrown together wiki page as proof. I doubt he could even muster up the gumption to skim through the entirety of his own ghost written novel.
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Why lie? I could probably ghostwrite a novel of Connor quality in the time it takes him to copy and paste all his emails.
 
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