The Cole Smithey Thread

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AnOminous said:
The thing about his status as Chris's sibling is that it makes comparisons between the two pretty much inevitable. And all I can say is if I had a choice between spending a day with Chris or Cole, I'd pick Chris hands-down. Cole is basically an interchangeable hipster douchebag with absolutely nothing unique about him other than his autistic hatred of Toy Story 3.

Chris is unique.
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I suspect a day with Cole would mostly consist of him trying to impress with his intellectualism. He's neither clever enough to be interesting with it, nor stupid enough for his pretensions to be funny.

I think his hatred of Toy Story 3, looking at his review, comes from the fact that he has no idea how kids' movies should be written. He seems to be of the opinion that dark and mature themes have no place in a children's film, which a cursory glance at any list of classic family films will show is outright wrong.
 
Tragi-Chan said:
He seems to be of the opinion that dark and mature themes have no place in a children's film, which a cursory glance at any list of classic family films will show is outright wrong.
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A quick perusal of Grimm's Fairy Tales demonstrates that children's media, including fairy tales, are actually the way society lets our children know the world they are growing up into is actually a pretty dark and scary place, full of literal monsters.
 
AnOminous said:
A quick perusal of Grimm's Fairy Tales demonstrates that children's media, including fairy tales, are actually the way society lets our children know the world they are growing up into is actually a pretty dark and scary place, full of literal monsters.
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Most old fairy tales were either scary or rapey.
 
Grimm's Fairy Tales originated in times when the idea of Saturday-afternoon entertainment wasn't a football match but a public execution. Also, the idea of "childhood" as a time of innocence, during which a person has to be given some protection against the harsh world, is quite new: It became fleshed out in the course of the 18. and 19. century, enlightenment and the romantic era. In earlier times, children were seen as mini-adults: Peasant children had to work as soon as they could walk, aristocratic children were introduced to court ceremonials. So it is not surprising that early "children's stories", that is, fairy tales, were extremely harsh and violent when compared to modern children's media.
 
DykesDykesChina said:
So it is not surprising that early "children's stories", that is, fairy tales, were extremely harsh and violent when compared to modern children's media.
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My point is that it actually represents a deterioration in society that we no longer introduce children to reality in the way that Grimm's tales used to do.
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
I didn't mean to direct it just at you, I see a lot of folk shit all over Cole and I just never get why is all. I look at him and Chris more like a classic Shakespearean tragedy - each lives the life the other wants, and neither will ever realize it.
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I dislike Cole because it always seems as though he has a chip on his shoulder, for instance, when Chris first got back in touch with him via e-mail in 2004 or 2006, Cole didn't ask how Chris was doing, didn't ask if he needed help with anything, he just went on that bizarre rant about Barbara being a slut and not knowing his real dad, etc, and basically told Chris "let me know when your dad drops dead" which despite how horrible Borb was/are, is kind of a low-blow. The way he spoke to Chris was cringeworthy. He has a constant massively pretentious egotistical condescending teenager "I'm better than you so fuck off, peasant" attitude which is cancerous and very standoffish.
 
AnOminous said:
My point is that it actually represents a deterioration in society that we no longer introduce children to reality in the way that Grimm's tales used to do.
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I think there are a lot of children's books and stories about the challenges of present and future (The Hunger Games, that John Green thing about cancer, etc.) that are more relevant than being eaten by wolves to today's kids.
 
juntaro said:
I dislike Cole because it always seems as though he has a chip on his shoulder, for instance, when Chris first got back in touch with him via e-mail in 2004 or 2006, Cole didn't ask how Chris was doing, didn't ask if he needed help with anything, he just went on that bizarre rant about Barbara being a slut and not knowing his real dad, etc, and basically told Chris "let me know when your dad drops dead" which despite how horrible Borb was/are, is kind of a low-blow.
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It might have been entirely deserved. There are family members of mine that don't warrant any more courtesy or kindness, because of how shitty they've been over long periods of time. If you saw some correspondence between myself and them you'd probably condemn me just the same, but I'd tell you've barely even seen the tip of the iceberg.
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
It might have been entirely deserved. There are family members of mine that don't warrant any more courtesy or kindness, because of how shitty they've been over long periods of time. If you saw some correspondence between myself and them you'd probably condemn me just the same, but I'd tell you've barely even seen the tip of the iceberg.
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I think we can all understand why Cole doesn't like Barb, but to take it out on Chris just seems shitty. He only met Chris maybe twice in his life, and just talking to him for five minutes you can obviously tell he's not playing with a full deck. It's not Chris' fault Bob was his father. Cole just comes off as some frothing-at-the-mouth-shitlib for denouncing Bob as some "reprehensible Republican cur" , despite him being rather centrist.

I always thought it was strange they didn't get along better because they're both musicians and jazz aficionados. Maybe Bob got drunk and beat the shit out of him while calling him a faggot. I don't know, but if he did, you'd never hear the end of it from Cole.
 
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Cole just comes off as some frothing-at-the-mouth-shitlib for denouncing Bob as some "reprehensible Republican cur" , despite him being rather centrist
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All we know of Bob's politics comes from a small handful of quotes and assumptions based on his employment travel history. It's perfectly reasonable to presume that Cole knew him better than we did.
 
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Cole just comes off as some frothing-at-the-mouth-shitlib for denouncing Bob as some "reprehensible Republican cur" , despite him being rather centrist..
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Bob held some kind of resentment towards black people, so maybe that's where Coleslaw and Bob disagreed sharply. I don't think Bob was a full cross burner, but he seemed to have some...views.
 
I can see Cole hating Barb. Cute woodland creatures hate Barb. But his hatred of Bob is probably down to his hipster poseur sensibilities.
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
All we know of Bob's politics comes from a small handful of quotes and assumptions based on his employment travel history. It's perfectly reasonable to presume that Cole knew him better than we did.
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Another thing to consider is Cole was around 17 when Bob came into his life, he was probably rebellious and I wouldn't be surprised if they got into shit-flinging over political views plus, someone appearing that late in someone's childhood would probably be hard to accept as a real father. Then we have Cole's probably less than stellar childhood under Barb, who was a bar hopping "woman of the night" at this time.

He left home in 1981 for college so he may have lived around Bob, but definitely not for long, just probably a year or two. From what Chris has said (dubious, I know) is that when Bob and Barb dated up into the early part of their marriage all they did was drink and fuck, which probably annoyed young Cole. It was probably a strain coming home to either to angry hung overed or drunk off their asses Bob and Barb.
 
This guy and his sorry uncultured, pretentious ass should move his ass to France, already.
Chris is way more noteworthy than this prick could ever hope to be, as someone has better put it already.

Tubular Monkey said:
I can see Cole hating Barb. Cute woodland creatures hate Barb. But his hatred of Bob is probably down to his hipster poseur sensibilities.
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Or the FACT that he is an SJW libtard... Definitely makes Chris look better in comparison all the more.
 
Clown Doll said:
Bob held some kind of resentment towards black people, so maybe that's where Coleslaw and Bob disagreed sharply. I don't think Bob was a full cross burner, but he seemed to have some...views.
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Eh, If anything barb is the one that resents black people, all we have from bob is the "I've seen crosses burn, son" quote. I'll buy that he was anti-gay but not that he was a racist.
 
waffle said:
Eh, If anything barb is the one that resents black people, all we have from bob is the "I've seen crosses burn, son" quote. I'll buy that he was anti-gay but not that he was a racist.
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And the painting the white house black obama joke. Well yeah, I don't think that Bob was a real hardline racist either, but probably enough to contribute to pissing Cole off.
 
Clown Doll said:
Bob held some kind of resentment towards black people, so maybe that's where Coleslaw and Bob disagreed sharply. I don't think Bob was a full cross burner, but he seemed to have some...views.
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I don't think Bob had any "views", unless you think Bob was one of those racists who listens to Jazz albums from the 30's, takes a big pull from Stroh's tallboy, and thinks "Boy, them Nigras make some good music when they're not out rapin' women and stealing watermelons!"

Alec Benson Leary said:
All we know of Bob's politics comes from a small handful of quotes and assumptions based on his employment travel history. It's perfectly reasonable to presume that Cole knew him better than we did.
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Cole doesn't know how to review a movie, how can he review a step-father?

I will admit some of us see Bob like Walt from Gran Torino; a hard drinkin', real talkin', shitlord Korean War vet. In reality though, Bob comes off as some mild mannered engineer with heart disease. That's the thing about Bob, though. We don't know what happened for the fist 55 years of his life. He did alienate the children from his first wife, which is damming. Cole doesn't like him, Chris merely "respects" him. This is what makes Bob so interesting, and so sympathetic, in my opinion.
 
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Cole doesn't know how to review a movie, how can he review a step-father?

I will admit some of us see Bob like Walt from Gran Torino; a hard drinkin', real talkin', shitlord Korean War vet. In reality though, Bob comes off as some mild mannered engineer with heart disease. That's the thing about Bob, though. We don't know what happened for the fist 55 years of his life. He did alienate the children from his first wife, which is damming. Cole doesn't like him, Chris merely "respects" him. This is what makes Bob so interesting, and so sympathetic, in my opinion.
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Yeah. Bob never struck me as the grizzled old bastard people make him out to be. More likely he was an old-fashioned guy who made a few racist comments without realizing how inappropriate they really are.
He always seemed to me a defeated man, especially in regards to Chris. I have no doubt that Bob tried his hardest to teach Chris in spite of his autism, only to have Barb impede because she was fine with having a dumb-dumb son to depend on her for the rest of her life.
When debating the whole Cole vs Bob debacle, you really do have to understand the context. At this point, Cole was understandably fed up with his disgrace of a mother. Now she had roped in another man who was willing to come to her defense if need be. I imagine Cole and Barb argued a lot at this time, and now Bob could step in and tell Cole to shut up.

There's no doubt that Cole is a repulsive human who is quickly and ironically turning into his mother. I'm on the fence with Bob, and my opinion on him depends more on what we don't know pre-Barb. The fact that his former wife and children wanted nothing to do with him raises some serious red flags to me, and I wish we knew more of the story.
 
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