🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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Ethan Ralph looks like a Tom and Jerry gag where Tom gets his shit kicked in by Jerry.
He might as well utter the words "don't you believe it".
 
MirnaMinkoff said:
He’s realized he isn’t physically capable of doing much in Lisbon because he’s so fat and out of shape.
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i'm out of shape too, but if I ever got the chance to be lucky enough to visit some crazy place like north korea or yemen, or even a milder place like a small town in denmark, i would walk around every day until my feet started bleeding. and then the next day i'd do it again
 
I can't stop thinking about when Ralph called into Diddler Dax's stream, and how obviously they were dunking on him. He even seemed to half-recognise the ribbing, but had to keep up the act that everything was fine. It was absurd. He didn't even have the balls to own his decision to fly there, like saying damn I bet that little Warski bitch wishes he was here right now enjoying this beautiful country like I am. It was like he'd already forgotten the purpose of his trip. As if waking up in Portugal that morning was mere coincidence.
 
The more I look at this, the more it makes me laugh. It's like that "Am I retarded" gif where Ryan is what Ralph thinks he looks like but then Ralph is what people see in the mirror. Someone should really edit that gif with the faces imposed on the original.
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byuu said:
I got a valium for that horrible pain I'm in after someone caved my skull in. Bet you're really jealous now, aylawgs.
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they give you better stuff for a toothache if you have insurance. for fucks sake they let you have better stuff if your dog just is fussy. Ralph really is complete white trash
 
Truly Rural said:
Wow! He was given Diazapam! That is as remarkable as a burger king on a steep street. He doesn't realize that might actually become his lifelong prescription does he? Dude might wake up today or in 5 years with tonic clonic seizures because of head trauma.
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I'm hoping in five weeks he's completely incontinent.
 
Retink said:
The more I look at this, the more it makes me laugh. It's like that "Am I retarded" gif where Ryan is what Ralph thinks he looks like but then Ralph is what people see in the mirror. Someone should really edit that gif with the faces imposed on the original.
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This has already been done earlier in the thread. Cbf finding it cause I'm not your janny, but it's there somewhere.
 
In all seriousness though if Ralph is bragging about anything it should be about the decent and clean job the surgeons did with his face. Could have looked much worse post-op.
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The eye that caught the business end looks slightly raised and not in line with the other so they definitely put some metal in his skull.
 
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Paddy O' Furniture said:
Canadians don't even like Americans because they seem to believe that their laws apply everywhere. Every American should be given one of these shirts upon leaving the country.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=scK_z4YKLf8
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...which is funny because that's exactly how Canadians act towards everyone, and how Europeans act towards everyone, especially when it comes to "hate speech". It really galls them that we can call them a niggerjewfaggot to their face and they can't do anything about it.
 
#KillAllPedos said:
It’s still not clear to me how that’s supposed to be a diss on Andy Warski. It’s like he’s just trying to make everyone hate him.
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i think he believes that the Portuguese are just this entirely different ethnicity, i think he also doesnt get that warski only pretended to be racist to grift and probably wouldnt even care if ralph fucked all the girls he wasnt pining for anyway like a normal human being. Ralph doesnt get were not all in a highschool with him and kinda moved beyond this retard mentality if we ever even had it that all vaginas in the world are our property and we cuck everyone who could have slept with a girl we instead slept with.
plgfarts said:
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Hopefully he'll wash his next Valium down with a glass of chardonnay. That's the arc I'd like to see. 50's housewife wine mom Ethan.
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ethan, if someone is trying desperately to ignore you by pretending not to speak english it means they despise you. fuck i feel sorry for that poor man. also are you fucking stupid? youre judging a hospital based on how many addictive drugs they feed you? youre a fucking parody of a person. this is late stage sitcom ralph where his character is reduced to over the top versions of summaries of his most noticeable traits
 
Disheveled Human said:
In all serious though if Ralph is bragging about anything it should be about the decent and clean job the surgeons did with his face. Could have looked much worst post-op.
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The eye that caught the business end looks slightly raised and not in line with the other so they definitely put some metal in his skull.
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Yeah, it does look like it. Might still just be swelling but it's definitely possible he's going to be permanently left lookin on the over/under now.
 
MeltyTW said:
eing. Ralph doesnt get were not all in a highschool with him and kinda moved beyond this retard mentality if we ever even had it that all vaginas in the world are our property and we cuck everyone who could have slept with a girl we instead slept with.
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he's just very obviously incredibly insecure considering how he treats his women, his pathetic dick size, his weight, and the fact he played the fat nerd kid in bad santa.
 
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