Why are geese such cunts?

[SandyCat]

There's some of them at a nearby park that try to murder anyone who comes by. How can so much anger be compacted into a small flying death machine?

 

[Some JERK]

It's not just geese. Ducks, turkeys and chickens are also assholes. Basically if you can eat it for Christmas dinner, it's a jerk.

 

[Ruin]

They're Canadians what did you expect?

 

[O.O]

Because they're the avian equivalent of a missing link. They're the last remaining bits of ancient reptilian still prominent in bird DNA. Have you ever seen the inside of their beaks? Just a peak at that is a Lovecraftian horror all its own:

 

[Looney Troons]

They become quite docile after you give one a nice punt.

Maybe we’ve programmed them to be this way? If you see a goose at a pond, you’ll like see someone’s small child chasing after it. Same with ducks, and chickens. Maybe they’re just tired of our bullshit? Maybe we should kick them some more?

 

[All Cops Are Based]

Their shit is the size of catshit by the way. And they're shitting literally all the time, all day. If you're a rural bro and see these things near your house, do not feed them or otherwise encourage them to stay.

 

[Scolopendra Dramatica]

They're what's left of the dinosaurs, can't blame them for being a bit miffed.

It's odd, I was having this exact conversation on the phone to my brother earlier after reminiscing about the time our dad had to escape one by leaping over a fence. The conclusion we reached was that ALL birds are angry little assholes (I live with parrots and I'm casually familiar with birb body language), these ones are just big enough and common enough that everyone has a memory of getting intimidated by these fuckers.

 

[Kendall Motor Oil]

What others said. It's genetics. Same reason why blacks are so violent, particularly the bantu.

 

[Monkey Shoulder]

why are people scared of a bird

 

[Charles P. Scene]

Would you not be a cunt if you were born a fucking goose?

 

[Shidoen]

Geese were once linked to royalty like cats but people favored cats since they can actually do way more useful shit. So geese are just coping with the loss of royalty.

 

[Mr Bunny]

Geese were once linked to royalty like cats but people favored cats since they can actually do way more useful shit. So geese are just coping with the loss of royalty.

We wuz KANGZ! - Geese

 

[Kornheiser]

The guy rules Southtown.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Geese remember when they were badass lizards.

 

[SandyCat]

why are people scared of a bird

It's their rampant bloodlust

 

[Loosey Goosey]

FUCK YOU

 

[Monkey Shoulder]

It's their rampant bloodlust

it's a faggoty little bird with hollow bones

 

[King Fructose]

Geese are 100% the niggers of birds.

 

[Everybody]

Power corrupts.

 

[Shidoen]

Geese are 100% the niggers of birds.

Nah Storks are the niggers of birds. They hang around crocs and drop off a baby then leave.