🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[Imposteroak]

I don't follow the gunt super close, so what are the odds of him getting fucked up on stream or otherwise and revealing what really happened? Most lolcows don't have any filter but idk how guarded the gunt has gotten after routinely making an embarrassment out of himself.

As an aside I'm banking that he was bothering locals for drugs, and got sent somewhere where people routinely get robbed. (Bonus points for someone telling him not to go there and him ignoring them.) I agree though that him getting his shit pushed in that hard makes the random mugging suspect., but I could see ralph drunkedly waddling after someone grabbing his murse around a corner or into alley and somehow further pissing off violent criminals to the point he ends up in the hospital.

 

[Pisstrooper]

If Ralph is going under for surgery I think it's probably for his jaw. They really can't do anything surgically for an orbital fracture, unless it fucked up the way his eye sits. The fact that his joke mentioned his double chin also lends some credence to the theory. If so maybe they'll have to literally wire his trap shut for a month. He'll be streaming using text to speech, "A. LAWGS. ON. SUI. CIDE. WATCH. RENTFREE. RENTFREE. RENTFREE. BAY. BAY. CHRIS. IS. KANG"

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

As the fellow says in Raging Bull, "He ain't pretty no more."

Speaking of, pardon if this is redundant given the high volume of posts in the thread, but here's a few thoughts on orbital fractures from a boxing fan. They do happen in the fight game, but it's not a common injury. Typically it happens when you have two guys who are mismatched in terms of size and strength. Notable examples I can think of in recent history: Kell Brook went up two weight classes to fight Gennady Golovkin, a hard puncher even against guys in his own class, and had his right eye socket fractured. The lingering weakness in that area meant he had it broken again in a later fight. Likewise, when Nonito Donaire came down a couple of weight classes to fight Naoya Inoue and was clearly the bigger man in the ring, he broke one of Inoue's orbital bones. (Because Inoue is a fucking goon he actually gutted it out and won a decision.)

Another famous example may be well-known to Kiwis: MMA tranny Fallon Fox broke one of his opponents' orbitals, because, ya know, man beating on a woman and all that.

The conclusion this leads me to regarding Ralph is he probably did get knocked down and stomped. In a flailing street fistfight he would have had to get really unlucky. Boot to the left side of his head (that looks like the really swollen one) would have done the trick nicely though.

I know it's a pretty common gyppo practice to steal some trivial thing and when some retard tries to chase them, the fleeing pickpocket will literally let the idiot victim catch up to them just in time to be four-on-oned like the Gunt claims happened to him.

It's pretty easy to catch someone when they actually want you to. And then they steal the rest of your shit.

That said I don't think this happened. Whoever beat the Gunt to a barely recognizable pulp put some real HATRED into it. He really had to have pissed off whoever did this to him because the brutality and pure aggression is amazing. Unless he randomly ran into a genuine psycho serial killer level of person, he REALLY pissed this guy off.

Odds are massively saying this is the Gunt's fault and he had it coming.

Agreed that The Ralphsamale got curbstomped. Look at the similar cuts below the eyes (likely from the sunglasses), that shows multiple hits. One punch (or more likely kick) isn't going to leave marks liked that. Yeah he's thin skinned, maybe literally, but some nail scratches those aren't. Also the type of surgery needed either takes some serious power in the arms, or just repeated blows from a weapon or foot.

My guess? Could be Ralph got jipped and waddled into the hornet's nest (which lines up with his story), could be a drug deal gone bad, could be a John defending his whore. Whatever started it, Gunt took one hit and dropped like a sack of potatoes. Whatever Lardo said or did, it royally pissed off the attacker(s), and they laid into him, like the fucking national team taking penalty kicks, until Blobbo blacked out. Wakes up in the hospital and first thing he does is tweets.

All speculation, depends on what his other injuries are. If it's most limited to the head/face, this was done with (aggravated but likely deserved) malice.

 

[FFinfo]

It is sort of funny to me that you all are downvoting an actual medical study about this and it doesn't even matter if it makes gunt look good or not. I am not saying any of this to flatter him or defend him, quite the opposite. Yet you all are unreasonably assmad about it for a reason I can't figure out.

Nobody is saying having a face bone broken in a place where you're likely to get punched/kicked in an assault is untrue or unlikely, they're (correctly) saying you're dumb for insisting that it's SOP for getting into a fight when it absolutely is not. Unless you think those 504 fractures account for all the fights in Chicago/Evanston, IL, combined, from 2001 to 2012 you could've just said it's likely he got an ass-kicking. You're the one doubling down on your typical scuffle resulting in a cracked skull.

 

[Herpes Complex]

If Ralph is going under for surgery I think it's probably for his jaw. They really can't do anything surgically for an orbital fracture, unless it fucked up the way his eye sits. The fact that his joke mentioned his double chin also lends some credence to the theory. If so maybe they'll have to literally wire his trap shut for a month. He'll be streaming using text to speech, "A. LAWGS. ON. SUI. CIDE. WATCH. RENT. FREE. BAY. BAY. CHRIS. IS. KANG"

And then we can watch him suck his food down.

 

[I like things]

No clue if it's already been said so forgive me if I'm repeating anyone but damn I really really hope the people that beat the shit out of him happened to record it. Even more than that - I really really REALLY REALLY hope they upload it and one of us kiwi fucks comes across the footage.

Fingers crossed. Fuck it, toes too.

 

[Hüftpriester]

They really can't do anything surgically for an orbital fracture, unless it fucked up the way his eye sits.

Pretty sure this is the case. Maybe they'll have to work on his jaw too though. Probably lost a bunch of teeth so they'll have to stitch up his gums as well.

 

[AnOminous]

Is it because Ralph actually believes that Jim is his friend and will go back on the Killstream some day and make it a success or is it fear?

The Ralphamale is more afraid of Jim than of the man or men who stomped his skull into skeleton jelly.

 

[MindYourSeabiscuits]

What are the odds Ralph uses the jokes warski has been making as evidence that warski was responsible for the attack on him as part of the continuing campaign of terroristic violence against him and his beloved horse?

 

[Disheveled Human]

Somehow, someway, this thread actually is starting to sound like it's full of jealous poor people. Maybe the dude just wanted to eat some shrimp and mayo, who gives a shit?

Posts that age like milk in the sun LMAO.

 

[Herpes Complex]

Agreed that The Ralphsamale got curbstomped. Look at the similar cuts below the eyes (likely from the sunglasses), that shows multiple hits. One punch (or more likely kick) isn't going to leave marks liked that. Yeah he's thin skinned, maybe literally, but some nail scratches those aren't. Also the type of surgery needed either takes some serious power in the arms, or just repeated blows from a weapon or foot.

My guess? Could be Ralph got jipped and waddled into the hornet's nest (which lines up with his story), could be a drug deal gone bad, could be a John defending his whore. Whatever started it, Gunt took one hit and dropped like a sack of potatoes. Whatever Lardo said or did, it royally pissed off the attacker(s), and they laid into him, like the fucking national team taking penalty kicks, until Blobbo blacked out. Wakes up in the hospital and first thing he does is tweets.

All speculation, depends on what his other injuries are. If it's most limited to the head/face, this was done with (aggravated but likely deserved) malice.

Gunt got beat like a tradcath wife.

 

[Christorian X]

Anyone else find it surprising that neither Faith or daddy Vickers has said a thing regarding piggy getting a beating?

 

[Absurdity]

Someone needs to go over there to personally investigate. Suit up Warski, it's time to visit the motherland.

 

[AnOminous]

Anyone else find it surprising that neither Faith or daddy Vickers has said a thing regarding piggy getting a beating?

Maybe they're too busy laughing to post about it?

 

[RodgerDodger]

What does "fix" even mean? He's getting his fat sucked out? Doesn't matter, he'll earn it back in no time.

We can't rule out she's paid a little extra to have him "fixed" SNIP SNIP while he's under. Everyone please welcome the newest addition to New Zealand Agricultural Products "Bethany Ralph'ette". (To be fair it's not like he would miss his dick. he hasn't seen it in years)

 

[NPC304348]

Anyone else find it surprising that neither Faith or daddy Vickers has said a thing regarding piggy getting a beating?

Could fuck up the RO cases

 

[State Champ]

Anyone else find it surprising that neither Faith or daddy Vickers has said a thing regarding piggy getting a beating?

You can't get cell service on transatlantic flights

 

[FFinfo]

Anyone else find it surprising that neither Faith or daddy Vickers has said a thing regarding piggy getting a beating?

Probably don't want to make comments on his actually being assaulted because of ongoing legal stuff.

 

[Frail Snail]

Definitely was taken as a souvenir. If the sale online is real, is the strap cut? If not cut it was easily slid of his unconscious body.

One of the photos has it hanging on the wall.

It is sort of funny to me that you all are downvoting an actual medical study about this and it doesn't even matter if it makes gunt look good or not. I am not saying any of this to flatter him or defend him, quite the opposite. Yet you all are unreasonably assmad about it for a reason I can't figure out.

I'll bite. Your study lists the most common causes of orbital fractures, of which assault is the top one for males (falling is the top one for women like Adrienne Ralph). It says nothing about how common it is to get an orbital fracture in a random street brawl, good luck conducting an accurate study on this. Muh lived experience indicates that, outside of the blackest gorilla ghetto, it's not that often.

 

[Post Reply]

Agreed that The Ralphsamale got curbstomped. Look at the similar cuts below the eyes (likely from the sunglasses), that shows multiple hits. One punch (or more likely kick) isn't going to leave marks liked that. Yeah he's thin skinned, maybe literally, but some nail scratches those aren't. Also the type of surgery needed either takes some serious power in the arms, or just repeated blows from a weapon or foot.

Yeah, I suspect our boy Ethan "Cushing's" Ralph was a couple of kicks away from becoming an honest-to-God vegetable. As despicable as he is, that's not a fate I would wish on anyone.