🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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Oh my fucking GOD he's being attacked on all sides. Even his father didn't hurt him this badly! He legit will never, EVER recover from this. Physically and mentally he is broken.
 
A Cardboard Box said:
Mate, he's not gonna look fucked up for a few months, he is just gonna look fucked up now, period, until he dies. He's not getting Hollywood master surgeons to make him look pretty, he's having a Portuguese trauma doc at a public hospital fix up his orbital so his fucking eye doesn't fall out. His new nickname is gonna be "squint."
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This is literally Ralph's best case scenario:
 
An automatic clown said:

Portugal Anúncios Classificados OLX

Portugal oferece anúncios classificados locais para emprego, à venda, imóveis, serviços, comunidade e eventos - Publique o seu anúncio classificado grátis
m.olx.pt m.olx.pt

Super Sleuth Gator
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I am so tempted to create the worlds most expensive flaming bag of dog poop and do what Jesse refused to by leaving it on Gunts doorstep and ringing the doorbell.
 
A week long stint after surgery to repair an orbital fracture seems long to me, especially since COVID has made space even more premium. This might be because he is visiting from across an ocean and doesn't really have anywhere to properly convalesce at, but I suspect there are other injuries he isn't talking about or the staff is concerned about his blood pressure and need to keep an eye on it before putting his fat ass back on a plane.
 
I was wrong about Ralph being a boring fuck on vacations. This turn of events has been extremely entertaining, I'm glad dick didn't go with him. This is a much better result. I consneed, Ralph wins.
 
Tiger Jack said:
He's had four brushes with death in the last year alone.

I used to think that, with the way he lives, Ralph would be lucky to make it to his mid-50's. Now, assuming he comes out of this with a HARD opioid addiction? Him even living to see 40 seems optimistic.
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I think the gunt character arch is coming to a close but then again Ralph just can't stop "winning" how will we ever recover A-log bro's
 
MirnaMinkoff said:
Yeah, he’s just having a surgery done to persevere his eye sight and cranial facial structure, not cosmetic work. His face is fucked and he will have to pay a lot for cosmetic surgery stateside to just not look like Igor or Quasimodo.

But given how Ralph has managed to prance around as a really ugly, obese wigger his entire life I doubt his face being even uglier will bother him too much. His vanity will have him get dentures, but that’s about it.

It’s not like he was some handsome guy before the beat down. It’s really difficult to make him much uglier.
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Either that or he will make a pathetic and desperate attempt to try and embrace it as part of his big tough southern boy image. A big tough southern boy that lost his man purse.
 
An automatic clown said:

Portugal Anúncios Classificados OLX

Portugal oferece anúncios classificados locais para emprego, à venda, imóveis, serviços, comunidade e eventos - Publique o seu anúncio classificado grátis
m.olx.pt m.olx.pt

Super Sleuth Gator
Click to expand...
You know what you have to do now Gator. You gotta pony up the $334.16 it'll cost to buy back your master's purse. It'll be the perfect thing to cheer him up when he returns.
Quickly, before the ayylogs get to it!
 
I know you're reading this Warski.....you better buy the purse bro. Or at least get one of your relatives in Portugal to buy it and mail it to you.
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BREAKING NEWS:
I was informed by his attackers that the only reason they stopped kicking and punching him is because they heard a "brrrrapprppp" sound and shortly after they noticed a foul smell.
 
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