🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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CamScanner 01-27-2022 23.10.jpg

WE GOT HIM!​
 
JULAY said:
I don't follow this fat faggot, but seriously, how the fuck does this happen in a place like Lisbon? It's seriously one of the safest cities I've ever been in... Barcelona? Sure, gangs of Gypsies everywhere. Berlin? Yeah, a lot of willfully unemployed Turks and Syrians that will fuck your shit up. Athens? Yeah, go to Exarchia and act like a retard, and the Afghanis and Africans will probably ruin your day.

But Lisbon? Jesus Christ, you have to really act like a complete retard faggot to find trouble there.
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It's like getting mugged in Zurich.
 
Justtocheck said:
Pretty sure Ralph did something.
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No no, things are all a bit blurry, but he fought four guys like a Ralphamale! That part isn’t hazy. Before that though? I’m sure he was just minding his own business. Sort of like how he omitted that he was at fault as fuck for the car wreck earlier this year, but he looked like the dude from Die Hard afterwards!

The fact that he doesn’t talk about any of the events leading up to getting his bitch ass whopped speaks volumes. He would tell us every detail if it was just a random, violent mugging.
 
JULAY said:
I don't follow this fat faggot, but seriously, how the fuck does this happen in a place like Lisbon? It's seriously one of the safest European cities I've ever been in... Barcelona? Sure, gangs of Gypsies everywhere. Berlin? Yeah, a lot of willfully unemployed Turks and Syrians that will fuck your shit up. Athens? Yeah, go to Exarchia and act like a retard, and the Afghanis and Africans will probably ruin your day.

But Lisbon? Jesus Christ, you have to really act like a complete retard faggot to find trouble there.
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These dodgy European cities are safe for tourists as long as you're, you know, a tourist. It's pretty damn obvious Ralph was trying to fuck a 14 yo prostitute or get him somma dat legal coke and got wrapped up in some kind of gang who saw its more profitable to rob him than sell to him.
 
Tommy's Mom said:
As much as Rekieta has been dunking on Ralph, he can't abandon a human being no matter how despicable when they've been this fucked up. I can respect that.
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Yea, if Ralph mends the bridge with Rekieta that would be his first smart move in a while. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard with Nick, and Ralph definitely needs an adult (which Nick passes for I guess) to guide him through getting back and whatever fallout might precipitate from the shit he's not telling us about. I really doubt this 2nd, 3rd, 4th? near death experience will cause any sort of come to KANG jesus moments for him, so he will probably just flip the fuck out on Nick the second he mentions the beating or talks to someone who laughed at him.
 
JULAY said:
I don't follow this fat faggot, but seriously, how the fuck does this happen in a place like Lisbon? It's seriously one of the safest European cities I've ever been in... Barcelona? Sure, gangs of Gypsies everywhere. Berlin? Yeah, a lot of willfully unemployed Turks and Syrians that will fuck your shit up. Athens? Yeah, go to Exarchia and act like a retard, and the Afghanis and Africans will probably ruin your day.

But Lisbon? Jesus Christ, you have to really act like a complete retard faggot to find trouble there.
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It happens by being an insufferable fucking cunt in a country that has a comically low simple assault conviction rate.
 
Octavia said:
These dodgy European cities are safe for tourists as long as you're, you know, a tourist. It's pretty damn obvious Ralph was trying to fuck a 14 yo prostitute or get him somma dat legal coke and got wrapped up in some kind of gang who saw its more profitable to rob him than sell to him.
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Yeah, that's most likely the case with him. I'd love to see him try to fuck around in an actually impoverished country, a broken eye socket would have been getting off easy.

A Cardboard Box said:
It happens by being an insufferable fucking cunt in a country that has a comically low simple assault conviction rate.
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One thing I've noticed over my years of travel is that certain Americans don't know how to blend in with the locals, and seeing how fucking obnoxious he is pretty much all the time, he's the poster child for that kind of behavior.
 
Neil said:
Ralph's going to get the Lowtax ending. The Opioid arc has just begun.
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What if Ralph, on some subconscious level, really wants to die, but isn't man enough to admit that to himself?
Perhaps this is his first step on a path of increasingly self-destructive behaviour, simply because the booze is taking too long....
 
Pisstrooper said:
Yea, if Ralph mends the bridge with Rekieta that would be his first smart move in a while. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard with Nick, and Ralph definitely needs an adult (which Nick passes for I guess) to guide him through getting back and whatever fallout might precipitate from the shit he's not telling us about. I really doubt this 2nd, 3rd, 4th? near death experience will cause any sort of come to KANG jesus moments for him, so he will probably just flip the fuck out on Nick the second he mentions the beating or talks to someone who laughed at him.
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Don't get me wrong, it's begrudging respect, but I can recognize the nobility of Nick being merciful to his enemy and taking the time to lend his expertise to a situation where it's obviously needed. He's tradcath, isn't he? That's what they do.
Personally, I see Ralph as the scorpion from the scorpion and the frog story. There is no way that I would give him a ride on my back.
 
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My friend works at the hospital where Ethan ralph was taken. They say his gunt took 4 hours to reapply, initially they thought Ethan just brought a friend in for emotional support, that was ofcourse until they asked it to leave. Apparently it was so awkward everyone in the hospital left, even the people in the ICU...
 
JULAY said:
Yeah, that's most likely the case with him. I'd love to see him try to fuck around in an actually impoverished country, a broken eye socket would have been getting off easy.
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Lmao, imagine Ethanol Liver in the Balkans. True definition of fuck around and find out.
 
I really hope Ralph is fine and I mean that with the utmost sincerity. If Ralph ODs on opiates because of his procedure or gets a blood clot on the way home or something more fittingly wiggerish, he won't be around to laugh at anymore. The status quo of the gunt needs to continue purely for the sake of comedy. Get better soon, king.
 
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