🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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Folks, I would like to propose that our consistent critiques about Ralph staying in his hotel room compelled the fat wigger to venture forth from the refuge of his vacation sty.

Thereby leading to the events which transpired during which Gunt was assaulted and robbed. Presumably by the pimp of some 14-year-old prostitute, or a gang of sand niggers.

What this means of course, is that the KiwiFarms has Ethan on strings. He dances to whichever tune the forum plays. Congratulations, another win for the site.
 
Octavia said:
Holy shit, no way did Warski win out on this by doing nothing lmoa.
Ralph must have been lured by legal coke or legal kids on a dingy matress, he makes himself look like such a target there's no way this was a street robbery.
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The best way to deal with Ethan taking shots at you on the internet is to wait and let him fuck things up for himself. He does this on average twice a month.
 
Twinkletard said:
The best way to deal with Ethan taking shots at you on the internet is to wait and let him fuck things up for himself. He does this on average twice a month.
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I knew something big was coming after he avoided jailtime in the revenge porn case. But not even I could have foreseen such hilarity ensuing so shortly after his perceived win.
 
Disheveled Human said:
It is definitely not a "safe" country, look at what happened to Ralph in 3 days. I have heard many stories from my family about how fucked up Lisbon is its really not safe I would rather spend the night out on the streets of italy. Pulling government charts up with there fucked up rating system just isn't reality. Lots of drug addicts and poor people looking for marks in that city.
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I would imagine being a fat, drunk, lumbering slob looking for whores would make someone an easy target lol
 
DerSneedstrom said:
I bet it wasn't even a fight. Gunt either got piss drunk and fell off a ledge or talked shit to some guys minding their business while drunk.
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Whether or not he was mugged, whoever did that shit to him was PISSED. Muggers don't really care about just randomly harming people, they just want to knock you down, take your shit, move on to the next. Whoever did that to the Gunt wanted him to REMEMBER it.
 
UCantCCPMe said:
Folks, I would like to propose that our consistent critiques about Ralph staying in his hotel room compelled the fat wigger to venture forth from the refuge of his vacation sty.

Thereby leading to the events which transpired during which Gunt was assaulted and robbed. Presumably by the pimp of some 14-year-old prostitute, or a gang of sand niggers.

What this means of course, is that the KiwiFarms has Ethan on strings. He dances to whichever tune the forum plays. Congratulations, another win for the site.
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It is known that Ethan Ralph is extremely easy to manipulate.

It's like how Marty McFly will do anything when someone calls him a chicken, that's how cartoonish Ralph is.
 
PPP did warn Ralph on the Kino Casino

I'M GONNA DOMINATE YOU RALPH!
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You remember when Null said that Ralph should absolutely not try to move to a 3rd world country because outside of America shit like this would happen to him?
 
Azrn0239 said:
I would pay anything to see the fight footage of this. What are the chances there's security camera footage?
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We would need a Twitterfag who isn't blocked by Ralph to very subtly lead him to admit where the fight took place. Once that is achieved, an autistic sleuth, preferably one that speaks Portuguese, would need to contact the surrounding businesses and try and get the security footage. It would be a longshot, but not impossible.
Hüftpriester said:
The story doesn't make sense. There's no way he chased anyone down. This was definitely a 1 on 1 fight and Ralph got his ass kicked. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
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Most likely this. I think all people wishing that he was beat up by a pimp for trying to get a 14 year old prostitute are in Lolcow fantasy land.
 
Mr E. Grifter said:
View attachment 2925527
Opiate addiction arc begins!

I wonder how badly he was beaten up, I imagine most of us have lost a fight in our lives I've never needed painkillers, never mind prescription ones that fuck you up!

It's hard to tell, he's being tight lipped for the first time in his life - his teeth might be all fucked up after all...
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i guess if he takes enough opiates for long enough, he;ll eventually lose the gunt.
 
Tip for Caucasian alcoholics - before you go out to get wasted, shave.

The hair below his nose looks like it was transplanted from his asscrack, no doubt an homage to the classic Bannon Bumfluff.

Edit: He's 36??
 
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