🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[Pisstrooper]

It's funny that Ralph is so retarded he got his ass beat in one of the safest Southern European countries. Portugal is classed as level 1 by the OSAC, which is the safest classification. For reference, Italy is a 4. Most of what I've read says the only dangerous places are obviously the migrant areas at night, but this is also where a lot of good restaurants are, so people still go there during the day. The only other things mentioned are the red light district and drug dealers commonly ripping tourists off with fake drugs and the big nightlife scene which can be overwhelming if you're not careful. So I would bet Ralph either

a) Retardedly went to a "diverse" neighborhood to get some food at night which absolutely no one else does. The danger of this is compounded by the fact that he's the only American in Lisbon right now.

b) Tried to buy coke and got sold baking soda and tried to act tough to some Eurotrash dealer.

c) Got into a fight with a hooker and her brothel security when she denied service upon the horrific reveal of his gunt.

d) He got too rowdy in a bar somewhere.

Working Together to Protect U.S. Organizations Overseas

OSAC is a partnership between the U.S. State Department and private-sector security community that enables the safe operations of U.S. organizations overseas through threat alerts, analysis, and peer network groups.

www.osac.gov

Crime, Safety and Pickpocketing in Lisbon

Is Lisbon safe or a dangerous city? The most common safety questions and areas to avoid in Lisbon, Portugal.

www.lisbonportugaltourism.com

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Ralph’s description of 4 on 1 sounds really familiar doesn’t it? It’s not like he has a long and even recent history of drunkenly barging in where he doesn’t belong and swinging his gunt around while mouthing off.
I don’t like to see any creature beat like this, but I’m 99% sure a woman was involved in this transaction as usual with the coward Ralph, and he probably deserved the stomping since he never fucking learns. And sure the west Memphis micro most certainly spit his bloody teeth at the Based Moors like the manlet he is, cause that’s all he has left.
My condolences to his fellow Lisbon charity hospital ward mates that had to hear the cursed Arkansas-flavored constant moaning. Be a damn shame if he got coofid while he’s there.

 

[Ghostface Killer]

This is the clip from November when I told Ralph he couldn't last outside of the US.

Continuance - Mad at the Internet (November 19th, 2021)

266 - Continuance - Mad at the Internet (November 19th, 2021)https://madattheinternet.com/2021/11/19/continuance/A week where nothing happened because everyo...

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sneed you so ralph.mp4

My theory is that Ralph has somehow made fun of death itself on the killstream with his many shoutings of “YOU CAN ABORT!” and now Death has ralph in an autistic version of Final Destination and somehow the gunt just survives on sheer luck each time.

Lets look at the evidence. Ralph has a heart attack before boarding a plane, hes saved by medical staff immediately avoiding dying on the plane. Ralph gets into a nasty car accident and leaves his body broken. Somehow walks away from it and heals, avoids dying again. Ralph gets caught in a blizzard and trapped on a hidden road in the backwoods freezing to death, only to be saved by a based black farmer. Now ralph goes to portugal and gets his shit kicked and not stabbed to death, avoiding death again.

Im convinced that our boy the Grin Reaper is an avid fan of the killstream and wants to put that name to the test. Godspeed Death, we rooting for ya!

 

[FamicomGorby]

0% chance Ethan chased and caught up with anyone.

If he's gonna lie I'm surprised he didn't just say that some thugs hired by that Null came from around the corner and beat him up.

99% chance he tried to get some hoor to fuck, got upset when they didn't wanna touch the gunt, then got beat up by their pimp.

 

[GriptheRaven]

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Dick arranged this. He's had enough Gunt.

 

[ANiggaNamedElmo]

36 years old, almost 40, with an abandoned child and one soon to be abandoned on the way, people.

 

[fuck whales]

This shit happens to American tourists all the time in all the big european cities because theyre so loud and naive and make it very well known they have a lot of money, my bet is someone came up to him to sell him drugs, told him to follow him down somewhere and then, boom, jumped, thats how it normally goes.

 

[Berb]

Seriously just imagine the footage of gunt trying to fight 4 Romanian gypsies that had just pickpocketed him

 

[fuck whales]

Dumb question, how dangerous is Portugal compared to western countries?

not at all to people who arent flashing the cash

 

[Insanely Retarded]

Thinking about it some more, Ralph tweeted the picture out at 2:30 AM PT time, so whatever happened, happened late at night.
The options as I see it are:

• He was drunk and got abusive with some Portuguese woman and get his ass handed to him because of it
• He got his ass handed to him by a pimp when he did something he shouldn't have with an underage prostitute (Why underage? Because prostitution is apparently legal in PT so any legal place should be more or less safe)
• He was trying to buy drugs late at night, got sold some fake drugs, decided no one was going to rip off the Ralphamale and went back, only to be beaten to a pulp

Again, if it had been a real mugging they would have focused first on his two phones, besides with a beating like that Ralph wouldn't have been able to keep them from taking anything, so them only taking his faggy purse means that it wasn't their goal and only did it to get money that they felt was owed to them (particularly fitting with the hooker/pimp theory).
Because otherwise these guys would have taken the purse, beat Ralph and leave him bloody on the floor but don't take his watch or two phones? How does that make any sense.

If this is real then this will be worse for Ralph than the beating itself. It sounds like Metokur since he, for some reason, thinks the whole "flamenco can you hear me" thing is hilarious to this day. The fake account that was around was "Mr Metokur" this one has the right name, but I guess there's no way to check anymore.

Edit: So apparently it was really Metokur according to his thread. Ralph's day keeps getting worse and worse.

 

[datura_binge]

This shit happens to American tourists all the time in all the big european cities because theyre so loud and naive and make it very well known they have a lot of money, my bet is someone came up to him to sell him drugs, told him to follow him down somewhere and then, boom, jumped, thats how it normally goes.

Honestly Ralph is beyond obnoxious even by American standards. He doubles down on every mistake and puffs up to show out anytime someone remotely challenges him. If I had to guess, he didn't "chase" anyone (he weighs like 400 lbs) he probably just tried to look like a badass when he got his pride hurt by some drug dealer and they just beat his ass in the street. He's lucky he didn't get killed.

 

[Fireman Sam]

People did speculate that something bad would happen to Ralph because he's a dumb american tourist but god daaamn I didn't expect something like this to happen.
Here's hoping he has a quick and hearty recovery though, plenty of cawntent to be had from this for sure. You'll hear him bringing this up for the next few months for sure.

 

[fuck whales]

Honestly Ralph is beyond obnoxious even by American standards. He doubles down on every mistake and puffs up to show out anytime someone remotely challenges him. If I had to guess, he didn't "chase" anyone (he weighs like 400 lbs) he probably just tried to look like a badass when he got his pride hurt by some drug dealer and they just beat his ass in the street. He's lucky he didn't get killed.

oh yeah, but American tourists are super naive, theyre super friendly, so they assume everyone being friendly towards them isnt trying to fuck them over, you watch it happening all the time in london.

The wearing your heart on your very loud sleeve like americans doesnt really fit in europe, it makes them a target.

 

[Lemmingwise]

How the fuck do you even get mugged in Lissabon? Last time I was there, I was stupid enough to leave my bag in the bus. Some mulatto guy asked the bus to stop, held my bag outside so I could retrieve it and then they drove along.

I've been to southern Europe several times and never robbed or attacked. I have a elderly family member who had their wallet stolen in Rome once, but I have no clue how you manage to consistently find yourself in trouble like the Gunt does

Yeah, and the difference is that lissabon despite being a capital is a pretty quiet city. Rome has some of the most skilled pickpockets you'll find anywhere and some type of illegal market stand every 3 meters with lookouts. Italians also view stealing almost like an admirable art sometimes. Getting something stolen from you in lissabon is like getting something stolen from you in Maine, or Vermont. It takes serious skill to manage that.

 

[ANiggaNamedElmo]

People did speculate that something bad would happen to Ralph because he's a dumb american tourist but god daaamn I didn't expect something to happen like this.
Here's hoping he has a quick and hearty recovery though, plenty of cawntent to be had from this for sure. You'll hear him bringing this up for the next few months for sure.

Here I was expecting he'd do some dumb shit like leave his card in an ATM and walk off without it. But it did get worse.

 

[Lope de Aguirre]

Thank fuck he didn't go to prison, this is way more entertaining lmao.

 

[Concerned Sender]

All speculations aside, the very fact that this happened is great.
Normal person would be humbled or learn something. Brain fried narcissist can only double down.
Here's to more funny happenings.

 

[Tiger Jack]

I guess the local pimps and drug dealers weren’t big fans of the Killstream.

 

[Venkataraman]

Ralph fucked around and found out. Did he get mugged like the official story? Did his attempt to hire a hooker go wrong? Did he try to buy drugs from the wrong people? Did he chimpout at the bar last night?

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1486513025372889090

Ethan Ralph on Twitter: "Well, I've definitely got to experience Port…

archived 27 Jan 2022 01:52:34 UTC

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THEY GOT THE MANPURSE:
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It''s honestly incredible to me that there isn't someone actively scripting Ralph's life behind the scenes like a reality tv show or slapstick comedy movie about an hilarious fat dunce because how does one man consistently fuck up this badly? Maybe it was Vickers in brownface dishing out some extrajudicial punishment.

 

[popnloch ness monster]

As someone who has lived in much poorer countries than Portugal continuously since I turned 21, I have never been mugged. I wonder what Ralph is doing differently

as if it's got anything to do with poverty