🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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Tom Myers said:
Ralph fucked around and found out. Did he get mugged like the official story? Did his attempt to hire a hooker go wrong? Did he try to buy drugs from the wrong people? Did he chimpout at the bar last night?
archive.md

Ethan Ralph on Twitter: "Well, I've definitely got to experience Port…

archived 27 Jan 2022 01:52:34 UTC
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THEY GOT THE MANPURSE:
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this was the funny I was hoping to see in this thread and was surprised didn't happen earlier.

It's really easy to get jumped in some parts in Lisbon and if you don't behave with a certain discretion you are going to be surrounded by a group of at least 4 Moroccan hooligans, and discretion isn't part of his vocabulary.
 
What's the use of bringing the Gunt into guntbat when you don't even use it ?
Ralph could just hold it up and bullrush into his assailants.

Did you also forget your defensive shart manuveres as well ?
 
Ralph didn't even want to go to Portugal after Daddy Dick broke his ankle, we bullied him into it. Now he has a broken nose and I'm curious to see the gash above is right eye, that will probably be a permanent scar. At this rate, Ralph will look like a legit circus freak before he turns 40.
 
The stolen man purse is a lost collectors item now, much akin to the Sonichu medallion.

Ralph really doesn't get the respect he deserves as a lolcow.
 
Tom Myers said:
Ralph fucked around and found out. Did he get mugged like the official story? Did his attempt to hire a hooker go wrong? Did he try to buy drugs from the wrong people? Did he chimpout at the bar last night?
archive.md

Ethan Ralph on Twitter: "Well, I've definitely got to experience Port…

archived 27 Jan 2022 01:52:34 UTC
archive.md archive.md
View attachment 2923734
View attachment 2923741
THEY GOT THE MANPURSE:
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Why is this man constantly getting into trouble? Even the universe hates him.
 
Keranu said:
The stolen man purse is a lost collectors item now, much akin to Sonichu medallion.

Ralph really doesn't get the respect he deserves as a lolcow.
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Too bad the guatos or whatever who stole it have no idea what its value is.
 
Walking around Lisbon by himself at midnight with 150 Euros cash, he was either trying to buy drugs or a hooker.
 
my prediction of what actually happened, made in gimp in 2 mins

wrecked.png
 
Cause I'm extra petty, and you downvoted me for calling this one.
44578.jpg

Epic Fail Man said:
this was the funny I was hoping to see in this thread and was surprised didn't happen earlier.

It's really easy to get jumped in some parts in Lisbon and if you don't behave with a certain discretion you are going to be surrounded by a group of at least 4 Moroccan hooligans, and discretion isn't part of his vocabulary.
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If you take part in the brothels and street hustlers, yeah, you're gonna get fucked.
 
MeltyTW said:
lol thats actually plausible, that or andy warski actually is some Portuguese underworld don
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wouldn't that be funny if it was a Corleone situation where he was forced to fuck off to canada for his own protection decades ago, and he decided to call in some of his father's favors.

Same thing with May; Let me be the first to note after her spergout on twitter and obviously not letting Ralph have access to her twitter anymore this happens. Maybe those italian connections came through.

How many 5'1 300 pound americans with burger king crowns are there in lisbon anyway?
 
AnOminous said:
Don't forget his "please rob me" manpurse stupidity.
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You're gonna get propositioned. Happens to everyone that walks alone. Ralph would've been the guy retarded enough to get in a taxi cab, ask the cab driver "take me to best hooker spot you can find", goes into a "bar' filled with smuggled serbian prostitutes. The Gunt turns into a Karen, and the Moroccans break his legs. A SHIT TON of these Taxis are paid by criminals to transport morons like Ralph to their overprized and shady establishments.
 
WutangLee said:
If you take part in the brothels and street hustlers, yeah, you're gonna get fucked.
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It's not only that, a lot of times when i was there there would be an Arab person coming from a group of five saying "hey come here come here one moment". As soon as they do that you have to tell them to fuck off and quickly get out of the street. They basically lure you so they can gang on you and steal your shit.

What I expected happened with Ralph is:

1. either stopped and gave them attention which you should never do.

2. got offended by them being "rude" and tried to confront them.

3. or tried to do the smart thing and walk away but was too fat and slow to get off the street they were in.
 
Hey, does everyone remember when Gator had to console Ralph after Ralph went and had a great time in Vegas:
Screenshot from 2021-09-27 21-11-16.png
Let's pour one out for our boy Gator who's going to have to go into crunch mode to kiss all these booboos to make them better

EDIT: "You're the kind of guy that when you're on the road in a wild destination, you're in your element," how right Gator ending up being, 2022 YEAR OF THE GATOR
 
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