Your personal tech fuck ups - This can't possiblly go wrong.

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I was a repairman for Chuck E Cheese, underneath a skee ball machine, doing a repair, and didn't bother to turn it off. Some stupid kid, who should have been aborted, ripped the out of order tag that locks the coin mech. The release solenoid broke my finger and gave me a nice 120 volt zap.

Lock out, tag out, people Do both.
 
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Backing up all my childhood projects onto a single big encrypted zip file on a CD.
CD gets scratched.. unarchive unreadable.. goodbye game I wrote in middle-school where you play as a giant foot😭
 
I was redoing the thermal paste and heat sink on my Athlon Thunderbird (1.2GHz version I think) and used alcohol to clean up the die. I guess I used too much and it ended up removing the feet that kept the heatsink balanced on the die. I found some similar feet somewhere and stuck them on but I guess they were just slightly too thick so the heat sink didn't sit quite right and the processor ended up letting the smoke out.

All I could afford for a replacement was a Duron 900.
 
Back when I used AIO coolers before making an open loop I had a corsair H100 or H110 240mm rad. I moved the hoses slightly when working on PC. After restarting the PC, the outlet hose shot off dousing all components in liquid. I shutdown and cleaned everything and threw a cheap air cooler on it. Corsair replaced the AIO and offered to replace components, but everything worked just fine after cleaning them. Never used an AIO again.
 
When I was building my current build about 10 years ago I bent 3 of my CPU pins, I don't even remember how. I had to return it back to wherever I bought it at, drive 55 minutes away and buy a CPU at a tech store because I was an impatient fuck and didn't want to wait another 3 weeks for a new one.
 
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Ran the Windows version of "sudo -rm -rf *" on my PC thanks to a friend. He knew what it does, and considered it extremely funny.

Later, when I worked as an IT and hardware tech, I was bored to death and I had a bright idea to connect a half-dead PSU, stick a paperclip into one of the connector's slots, and the other in another, to see if I can make "a lightning zap", just for fun. And I did, but not exactly the zap that I imagined - the PSU died in a shower of yellowish sparks. What's interesting, is that I first tried it on my skin, to no avail - it seems that PSU's are designed with retardation in mind, so the current somehow does not flow when connected to a human. Weird.

Lastly, not sure if it's a tech fail, but still - I had another bright retarded idea to duct tape scissors to a cordless electric screwdriver (the one that looks like a drill, not the simple one with a usual screwdriver-y handle, see pic attached) and spin them around. If the fucking thing would have flied away approx. 4 cm lower than it did, it would have slit my throat. Instead, it somehow managed to barely cut my mouth.

That last one has scared me so much that I received a permanent shielding from being a retard (hopefully). The only tech fail I had after that was accidentally connecting USB killer instead of a regular USB flash drive, since I somehow mixed them together, and fried the front I/O panel on the PC. Thankfully everything else worked ok after that, but it also means that "USB killers" are actually worthless, since they don't really kill the mobo or drives or anything else, so mixed feelings.
 

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That last one has scared me so much that I received a permanent shielding from being a retard (hopefully). The only tech fail I had after that was accidentally connecting USB killer instead of a regular USB flash drive, since I somehow mixed them together, and fried the front I/O panel on the PC. Thankfully everything else worked ok after that, but it also means that "USB killers" are actually worthless, since they don't really kill the mobo or drives or anything else, so mixed feelings.
Don't they advertise it as a "safety testing" device? As far as I know, no USB standard requires the port to be able to handle hundreds of volts.
You can't even use it to erase data, the most it does is damaging the controller like you pointed out.

USB killers are just for vandalism. You can brick Teslas and monitors with it, good job.
 
I tried to make my matte monitor into a glossy monitor so i removed the matte coating. Went perfectly until I turned it on. The monitor just displayed a white screen, why is that? Turns out i stripped the polarizer from the display. the monitor had the matte coating integrated into the polarizer. So basically i destroyed a 4k monitor by removing the polarzier.
 
Probably putting an AMD FX series retaining clip through my thumb in a moment of rage one time. The fucking cooler would just not go down and I was pushing down incredibly hard when my thumb slipped and the end of the clip went cleanly into my thumb and was pressing against my nail on the other side.

I had a moment of panic like "I'm going to the ER with a fucking CPU cooler on my hand" before I rather calmly pulled my thumb off the clip and proceeded to clean the piss out of the wound. Actually healed pretty quickly and easily.
 
Had some trouble with Windows 8 (shocking, I know), so I ran Windows Refresh (or maybe it was Reset) to see if it would help. It didn't. Helpfully, it took all the old stuff and moved it into a "Windows.old" folder. So I tried a few other things, and then ran Windows Refresh (or maybe it was Reset) again. Unhelpfully, it completely stomped the old "Windows.old" folder with 400+GB of all of my files and replaced it with a new "Windows.old" folder with next to nothing in it.

Thank dog I had ample backups, but that was still weeks worth of restoration and reinstallation.
 
I tried to make my matte monitor into a glossy monitor so i removed the matte coating. Went perfectly until I turned it on. The monitor just displayed a white screen, why is that? Turns out i stripped the polarizer from the display. the monitor had the matte coating integrated into the polarizer. So basically i destroyed a 4k monitor by removing the polarzier.
Was it expensive or one of those $300 4K tvs?

What kind of lunatic would want a glossy monitor anyway.
 
I put too much cooling gel on my processor. Somehow it got stuck to the heat sink. Tried to remove it and the support somehow gave out before the cooling gel.

Somehow none of the little connectors on the processor broke. Nothing broke. It is still working.
 
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