You own an inconvenience store.

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Well, for starters, the impulse buy rack will be pressed up nice against the window, where the chocolate bars can really soak up the sun's natural goodness, unlocking the sweet's softest, most liquid of textures! Couldn't decide between chocolate or a drink? Now you don't have to!
 
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I'd sell the usual stuff you'd find at a convenience store, but -
  • The AC would be set to a mildly discomforting temperature in the stuffiest air I can possibly manage.
  • All prices are reduced by 2.87% exactly, we do not calculate that for you so I hope you've brought a calculator as we also don't give change without the threat of a lawsuit.
  • Cashiers are specifically instructed to disappear for random periods during the day to buy me more smokes from the shop across town, which I chain smoke in the bathroom which only has a tiny extractor fan on half power for ventilation.
  • The store is playing a barely recognisable torrented track with a bitrate just low enough that you can only just notice the quality loss. This is amplified by the speakers having suffered some mild water damage and them being hidden behind boxes of wares.
  • You know those weird circular mirrors you see in corners of shops? We've got those for every corner and they are now concave so you look even weirder in them.
  • There is a puddle in the middle of the candy isle. It has been there since opening day and when asked about it, staff are specifically instructed to grunt and say "i'unno". If someone dares slip on it, then I shall point out that there is a wet floor decal underneath the puddle.
  • I have hired a schizophrenic man for security. You will comply with his demands. On Fridays he is off his meds.
 
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