- Joined
- Oct 13, 2020
Picture this. You're walking down the street when a fat monkey runs past and says "Ookikiki" and "Wango!" as he steals your shoelace in one quick swipe. You try to chase the monkey, but he jumps up to a high ledge and starts fortnite dancing using YOUR FUCKING shoelace as a prop. you start crying at how rudely this monkey is treating you, but all of the sudden the monkey looks real sad and comes over to comfort you, but its a trick and now the monkey is peeing on your GODDAMN Jordans that are fresh out the FUCKING box. You go to kick the monkey but hes too quick and you trip to the ground snapping your shin clean in half. The monkey steals your phone and mashes the screen so much that he ends up calling your wife. You beg him not to say anything because your marriage is in shambles and you promised you wouldnt call her until she was ready. The monkey doesn't understand you of course and you hear your wife pick up the phone and say "what is it anon?" bitterly. She's real pissed. then the monkey says "Fat fuck gookie cookie" and the woman you love starts screaming obsceneties and says that your marriage is over. You call out "No wife. That's not me! It's the monkey!" but she cant hear you; the monkey is farting into the reciever. You cry to God above for help, but the monkey breaks your phone and takes a ripe dump and smears into the open wound in your leg while grinning wildly and humming the oscar meyer weiner song? what would you do?
