Would you buy a KiwiPhone? - (and let Josh know everything you do)

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Let's say Josh decided to forget about silver coins and instead he shilled some cheap phones at us, would you buy one? What features should be on it?
If you use an OEM with a divit in it, Elohim will punish you.
brainlet divit.jpeg
 
Depends:

Would it be a dumb phone or a smart phone?

If the latter, what would be the OS on it? What would be the specs for the thing? Would it come with bloatware? Would it be dependent on Google services?
 
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