Why won't Putin fuck me?!

[PUTIN MAKES ME HORNY]

I emailed the Kremlin 5 times, asking for some hard core ANAL Sex from Putin. The Kremlin responded with a Restraining order . I NEED TO FUCK PUTIN IN ORDER TO COMPLETE MY LOVE QUEST ! Or otherwise I'll be a virgin forever!!!

Spoiler: My sexy Daddy 🐻

 

[TFT-A9]

he's not gay for you

 

[Justtocheck]

Gimmicky accounts get the axe fast so... look out. Though, do feel free to participate in the community. We love newcomers

 

[Dream_Cooter]

He won't fuck you because you can't do this.

 

[Articuno4]

Have you tried bypassing the Kremlin completely by contacting Putin telepathically instead? This works for lolcow Gail Schuler / Gabriella Chana, she has telepathic sex with Putin all the time. Could work for you too!

 

[Skitarii]

 

[MrJokerRager]

Putin is probably busy with these two paid off singers.

 

[the fall of man]

Have you tried being Donbas

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

putin is fat and gay and I wouldn't have sex with him

 

[Burmese Rice Farmer]

hi spergatory

 

[Testacles Maximus]

You’re coming on too strong. Play a little hard to get. Change your name to “putin doesn’t make me horny” and he’ll probably chase you around a little bit.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Fuck the Ukrainian woman to make him jealous.

 

[nekrataal]

Because you’re gay.

 

[MindYourSeabiscuits]

Try joining NATO, that should work.

 

[Lucky Jim]

well look at you

 

[Shidoen]

Because Putin has a dog he takes care of.

 

[Sundae]

Because you're not Ukraine, that's the only thing he wants to fuck right now.

 

[SCSI]

You don't demand hardcore anal sex from a delicate flower like Putin. You gotta romance that shit like a proper gentleman.

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

Perhaps your PUTIN too much thought into this

 

[Stanley the Gay Wizard]

He's a twink.