Why SHOULDN'T I shit on company time?

[Lithuophile]

It's glorious. Literally no downsides

 

[Soup Sammiches]

You should. Your boss has an office for a reason.

 

[$80 Nude Haircut]

It's a gateway drug. You'll realize your boss has no concrete power over you & become a fedposter.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Only if you make a dollar and your boss makes a dime.

 

[Monolith]

Remember that Starbucks olive oil coffee from a few months ago? I always buy a cup just before coming into work, just in case.

 

[Generic Anime Girl]

I go out of my way to take constant shit and water breaks sometimes. I'm punching in and out on time, what else would they want?

 

[I (Don't) Have A Gun]

I don't like using the company toilets...

 

[DankSmoker]

Because your boss installed toilet cameras and is selling the footage.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Because studies by complete psychopaths say people work better when borderline feral from turd rage.

 

[the despicable internet]

Why would you even leave the toilet after you enter it in the morning though?