Why is using vaseline to jerk off a trope?

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Bone Santa

Bone Santa

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It's an awful willy lubricant, just terrible.
Fucking hollywood JEWS why do they do this?
 
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Because for about 100 years that's all there really was.
Vaseline was invented in the 1870s and was the only readily available lube on shelves.
KY lube was made in the early 1900s but it was prescription only till 1980.
 
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Americans are circumcised and can't self lube like a normal person with foreskin. It also helps with sensitivity as it's not constantly rubbing on your clothing.

Bonus fact about the foreskin. It's there as well to not hurt your female companion as the penis is curved and will tug on the inner vaginal walls, the foreskin will retract back over the penis to cover these curves and make extraction an easier process
 
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Fascist Frederick said:
Everytime the topic of circumcision comes up I can never tell if everyone is being ridiculously hyperbolic or I am the only person on earth that was circumcised correctly.
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Nobody told me this outright but I've seen enough circumcision talk to infer that a lot of these guys can't or won't loosen their deathgrip. They hear "choking the chicken" and take it literally. They hear "tight" as a positive descriptor sexually and decide that should be the sole focus of their masturbation, at any cost.
 
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I thank my parents everyday that when they decided to have me circumcised they brought me to a gay pedophile doctor to do the work because they knew he'd be passionate about it and do a good job. A regular doctor is so repulsed by the fact that they have to touch a baby penis that they can't even look at it while trying to cut it. No wonder most men get a third of their dicks chopped off. My doctor couldn't take his eyes off of it and cut it to perfection, not wanting to damage the goods.
 
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Because Vaseline is easy to get off the counter as opposed to going to a sex shop and buying the expensive stuff while feeling like you're being judged by everybody in the same hemisphere.

If it's just for your auto-erotic activities Crisco is probably better, cheaper and raises fewer questions. Just remember to wash it off.
 
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Spud said:
It's there as well to not hurt your female companion as the penis is curved and will tug on the inner vaginal walls, the foreskin will retract back over the penis to cover these curves and make extraction an easier process
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I hadn't really thought about it before but that's probably why American women are always bitching about how sex doesn't feel good. That and all of the psycho drugs they're on.
 
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Poppavalyim Andropoff said:
Because for about 100 years that's all there really was.
Vaseline was invented in the 1870s and was the only readily available lube on shelves.
KY lube was made in the early 1900s but it was prescription only till 1980.
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It wasn't invented, exactly, it comes out of the ground like that. Oil workers in Texas used to save some of it because it helped with cuts, burns, chapped lips, or whatever. Then someone realized it could be packaged and sold.

It has been around a lot longer than that, though, Marco Polo wrote about the Azerbaijani trading it on the Silk Road. They were probably trading in it pretty early, that's probably where the Byzantines imported naphtha for Greek fire from and if you're around crude oil you'll be up to your ass in petroleum jelly.
 
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