Why do people cheat on their spouses/lovers? - Are there any justified types of cheating in your eyes?

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I don't really think cheating is all that bad. I mostly think people are dramatic about it. If somebody cheated on me, I'd just leave. If they're cheating the relationship was probably already dead. And if I cheated, they could just leave me too. Really not that big of a deal.
 
I knew this guy; elder gen-Xer who married some radfem with (unknown to him at the time) serious issues in the form of sexual abuse from her dad and a cluster-B personality disorder. About a decade into the marriage she suddenly declares, "You're not having sex with me anymore," and ends up having affairs with at least 4 other men, and doesn't even bother to disguise this fact. He had (and has) a boomer-tier mentality about "marriage means commitment" and also his wife threatened to take him to the cleaners if they divorced; and since he was gainfully employed and she was a useless goldbricking piece of shit, was a serious threat.

This guy resigned himself to jerking it in the shower for the rest of his life, and did so for about another decade. However, it turns out there was a swinger couple we both hung with, and the missus decided she wanted a fling with Mr. GenX. So after getting the sign off from her husband, she decided to jump his bones.

Do I blame the guy for sleeping with an attractive woman who wanted to sleep with him a decade after his cunt of a wife decided to effectively destroy their marriage? Not really. Do I wish he'd done it someplace other than my living room after he and she thought I was passed out drunk? Yeah, kinda.
 
passionpoop said:
I don't really think cheating is all that bad. I mostly think people are dramatic about it. If somebody cheated on me, I'd just leave. If they're cheating the relationship was probably already dead. And if I cheated, they could just leave me too. Really not that big of a deal.
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It'd be fine if cheating was "Honey, I cheated on you. We're through. Get out." But it's never that. They always hang around after the cheating. Affairs can carry on for months, years even. People just want to have their cake and eat it too. That carries all kinds of problems. Especially if kids or STDs are involved.
 
Party Hat Wurmple said:
It'd be fine if cheating was "Honey, I cheated on you. We're through. Get out." But it's never that. They always hang around after the cheating. Affairs can carry on for months, years even. People just want to have their cake and eat it too. That carries all kinds of problems. Especially if kids or STDs are involved.
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So what if they do? I spose I just don't personally care. And I'd argue most people are aware when they're being cheated on, they're usually the ones who choose to stay regardless. I don't feel sorry for them.

STDs are some bull shit though, agreed on that point. If you're going to be a whore, be a clean one. I'm not surprised there are so many people against cheating, though I'm pretty sure it's just a knee jerk response and few here have experienced it.
 
Dojima's Dragon said:
This wont SURELY turn into a warzone.
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I was inspired by the locking of the Dr. Disrespect thread: it was either this or the utterly horrifying "what do you believe the age of consent should be" thread. I couldn't take responsibility for the later even though it would be good to have a debate corral for that.
 
Reticulan Joe said:
I knew this guy; elder gen-Xer who married some radfem with (unknown to him at the time) serious issues in the form of sexual abuse from her dad and a cluster-B personality disorder. About a decade into the marriage she suddenly declares, "You're not having sex with me anymore," and ends up having affairs with at least 4 other men, and doesn't even bother to disguise this fact. He had (and has) a boomer-tier mentality about "marriage means commitment" and also his wife threatened to take him to the cleaners if they divorced; and since he was gainfully employed and she was a useless goldbricking piece of shit, was a serious threat.

This guy resigned himself to jerking it in the shower for the rest of his life, and did so for about another decade. However, it turns out there was a swinger couple we both hung with, and the missus decided she wanted a fling with Mr. GenX. So after getting the sign off from her husband, she decided to jump his bones.

Do I blame the guy for sleeping with an attractive woman who wanted to sleep with him a decade after his cunt of a wife decided to effectively destroy their marriage? Not really. Do I wish he'd done it someplace other than my living room after he and she thought I was passed out drunk? Yeah, kinda.
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And then everyone clapped. That Gen-Xer? Albert Einstein.
 
If the other partner ceases to be intimate then this can create a deep longing in the other partner to feel wanted and be with their partner in a passionate way. Over a long period of time this could push a person to temptation even if they know it is wrong. I've been there and it hurts, though I did not cheat.

Neglecting your partner's needs is inviting this kind of problem in; not to remove blame from the cheater. Ideally both people should go discuss this fairly but the idea that you should satisfy your partner even if your desires don't match up is abhorrent to many.

Of course many people cheat without this factor, but obviously they're just scum and don't deserve a second thought.
 
I'll have to find out the details of why my Grandad Neil cheated on my Stepgran Pam, and conceived my mum with my 17-18 year old Nan, Anne-Marie, and why my Great-Grandma Nellie cheated on my Great-Grandad Doug, leading my Grandad Brian, my dad's dad, to be conceived.

Actually, there are some details:

With my mum, her biological dad was in a band.

With my paternal grandad, he was born in 1943.

In my family's case, you're a free-spirit with the soul of a rockstar, you get tail, and, most likely according to my Uncle Ian (Dad's brother), if you're involved in active service (Royal Air Force, Navy, French Foreign Legion, G.I.'s, 1st Special Force etc.) in some way, you also get tail. I tend to think vague military types got more tail than musicians, comparatively, but... er... what do I know...

Anyway, what point am I trying to raise (giggity?!)... Oh, yeah, there's probably not always one reason. The person they're cheating with might just have... something that's lack in their spouse, whether it's being some kind of sex machine, or they're more attentive, "exotic", or even more... direct, to list several reasons that come to the fore. There's also the "staying in a marriage for the kids" bollocks, an all.

Of course, more often than not, though, probably, you get selfish, soulless fucks, whose only true continual passion in life, is to have some sort of control and power to cling on to. Oh, and ego. This applies to both men and women as well.
 
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There’s a zillion reasons why people cheat. But usually it’s just bone headed selfishness combined with tremendous stupidity. And cowardice.

If you promised to be faithful to your partner before your gods and community, then no, there aren’t any justifications for stepping out on them without their knowledge or permission.

FFS, we’re living in a really sexually permissive period in history here. So many risks have been addressed, like STDs and unplanned pregnancies. Social controls and condemnations barely exist. Anything goes and nothing matters but “consent”. If you can’t renegotiate the terms of your sexual exclusivity contract and get that before some sort of sexual betrayal happens, you’re the selfish idiot asshole. No excuses.
 
No. If you've fallen out of love, fucking leave or try to fix it. Cheating is the worst option. No excuses. Cheaters deserve the wall.
 
In hopes of becoming a president. From my understanding, adultery is A-OK with some political leanings.
 
If married:

People cheat because they are weak willed faggots with no moral fiber: no fortitude to resist temptation, no prudence to avoid it, no charity for their spouse nor courage to discuss any brewing dissatisfaction, and certainly no loyalty. Often, they keep it going in secret for as long as they can, making them liars and thieves of the investment and resources of their spouse as well.

It is always the pathetic personal failing of the honorless. It cannot be justified.

If not married, but fucking anyway:

The individuals in question are already whoring themselves out to each other without commitment, why stop there?
 
Lust is only temporary; trust should be forever. I don't give a shit if it's sappy or whatever. If someone isn't willing to take such a major, voluntary commitment seriously, don't get into a relationship.
 
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