why are you still single - and general discussion of the dating game

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If I wasn't in a program specifically meant to guide someone through education, which is all that college is, I'd probably be rotting like everyone else is. Money is another consideration, of course.
This won't scratch the competition itch, but here's another avenue to explore if you like writing papers about things you don't care for. Once a week, go find what's trending on Twitter, or TikTok, or some other retard hub. Throw that into Google Scholar, fall down a rabbit hole, then write a paper on that. Autodidacticism is the realm of the truly intelligent; you can be your own guide. I haven't heard your voice, so I can't say if it's actually bad or not, but you don't need YouTube to make money on what you learn. You could write books. My favorite author, Thomas Sowell, has published several books to elucidate the common man on topics that confound him. Maybe one day you'll have a rival to scratch that itch for competition. I've watched Veritasium videos to know this has happened multiple times throughout history among intellectual pioneers.
Can I ask what this means?
Sure, but I'm not sure I can explain it properly without sperging out. I'm sure you know that every organism fills an ecological niche, a role. Among certain species, including humans, there is enough sexual dimorphism that the niche is subdivided further. Manosphere types are hit or miss with their memes, but one thing they get right is that men's role is to protect and provide for a family. The current state of society doesn't allow them to do that, but the drive, the instinct is still there. Without the proper channels to fulfill that drive, men's behaviors are seen as "toxic" and there has been a sort of agenda to strip men of that inner manhood. There are still manly men in America, but there has been a growing number of atrophied men; they're the soyboys, the fuccbois, the gooners, coomers and doomers, and even larpers who make a big show about how manly they are.

The ideal of equality is insidious because it denies the individual his or her individuality. On the surface, however, it sounds great, and they pushed it onto women. They pointed out the superficial socio-economic differences between them and men, and asserted that those differences are wrong. I don't believe those differences are wrong, men and women are meant to play different roles in the family unit and in society, but that means they wouldn't be equal, and that's bad, axiomatically, to communism-minded people. As far as I can tell, women were only kept out of the workplace because somone had to mind the children and many of the workplaces were hazardous. Women occupied and even owned business when those two issues weren't in play. Many surnames come from professions: Cooper, Weaver, Tailor, Tanner, Cartman, Potter, etc. Women had their own titles: Webster, Brewster, Spinster, etc. The term "spinster" even became a label for unmarried, childless women who only had their career. Benjamin Franklin even hired a woman at one of his printing presses because she was capable in arithmetics, which he needed for book keeping. When he sold that press, he sold it to that woman, who then became the business owner. None of this was good enough evidence that women weren't second class citizens, so another sort of agenda came about to try to mold women into men for the sake of equality. A modern moniker for this is the "girl boss."

Several generations of these trajectories have produced emasculated men, and women who try to fill their shoes, but due to biological differences, are still often outpaced by men. I know correlation isn't causation, but you can't ignore that women's (and men's) overall happiness has declined with each wave of feminism. Neither sex is socially allowed, or even able (due to industrialization) to fulfill is role, thus, a sexless society, one big androgynous society. I was delighted to see someone else scratch the surface of this. This topic runs deep and it started generations ago, but I hope one day, men and women can have their gender roles back.

I'm kinda at a loss for what to do about any of it. I'm still fairly young but I'm far behind the curve so I have some work to do.
My man, I saw you in that thread where the lolicon wanted to buy a little girl. Your posts were interesting because they weren't the typical disgust reaction, they seemed smart, like you were coaxing out the demon to stand in the sunlight. There's a spark of something inside you. I don't know anything about you, but how you described your feelings sounds like imposter syndrome. Look into it and see if there's anyway to help you build confidence. Actually, confidence is downstream of competence. Whatever spark you have, you need to harness it and make it useful enough that you can stand proud on your accomplishments.

As for just being yourself, this is hard. Lots of people who are bizarre can't be themselves and appeal to others. You could be someone you're not, attract people with an alter ego, and it'll work at first, but your relationships will only be with your alter and not you. If you are a weirdo, I would say just be yourself, even if you never get whatever meme-gf you wish you had, because at least you'll be comfortable in your own skin. What I can say is that happiness is contagious (like every emotion), so live a good life you're proud of, find joy in the little things, and you'll attract people in general who might one day introduce you to a nice girl who appreciates you. This is for you. If audio books aren't your thing, get the paper version and use it like a text book.
 
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An anecdote, but large sample size.
How old are you? Are you near a college? How do you define fat, as I know a lot of people have lowered the bar drastically for this word? How, generally, would you say your friends met these people? How often do you encounter (as in: see at random on the street, in stores, etc) unaccompanied girls your age who you find attractive?
Sorry pal, nice try, I'm not telling you where the secret stash of young fit chicks with massive boobs are.

Good luck though!
 
Sorry pal, nice try, I'm not telling you where the secret stash of young fit chicks with massive boobs are.
I'll take this to mean "yes, hot girls are out and about, and I see them in my daily life more than once a month or two"

I really, really need to relocate... I don't even see girls my age to begin with!
 
This won't scratch the competition itch, but here's another avenue to explore if you like writing papers about things you don't care for. Once a week, go find what's trending on Twitter, or TikTok, or some other retard hub. Throw that into Google Scholar, fall down a rabbit hole, then write a paper on that.
Sure, I've written and self-published casual articles and rants about my hobbies before. They're floating around the Internet. It's not the same as writing a paper for college, though. Also, I enjoy writing about things I hold no interest for when it's asked of me by another for a reward (an A, in this case). Doing it for no purpose sounds boring as hell.

College is more than the interest/hobby of learning, it's also about the accomplishment and job opportunities.
I could detail exactly how uncomfortable I find working average jobs to further explain why I'm in college, but I'll simply state that the most I've ever worked an average job was a 32 hour work week, and it caused me to have a breakdown after a few months where I quit on the spot and then spent the night and day afterwards trying to suppress the immense, frantic feeling of needing to die. To circumvent a poor decision, I put all of my ammunition in my car and drove it to the other side of the apartment complex. Structured learning environments and goals are a very good way to suppress suicide, and it'll hopefully get me into a job that doesn't make me want to blow my brains out.
Sure, but I'm not sure I can explain it properly without sperging out.
Most of what you explained there I know already. My question wasn't specific enough, my mistake.

What do these dynamics look like to you in daily life? How do the sexes live? What rights do men and women have in this society?

I always wonder about this when people start talking about gender dynamics and the shoulds involved. Your mention of equality is interesting because you don't specifiy the type of equality. Legal? Social?
I'll directly attribute this to my situation. In the years past, where certain women could run businesses, most of them couldn't be educated. In the 1800s this started to change, but these educated women weren't respected or employed en masse in their fields until the mid 1900s (and they still faced a lot of issues in the workplace, as all women did). Exceptional, wealthy, or very lucky women got the chance to earn what they wanted. I'm none of those.

I'm inherently uneasy with the assertion that women's modern roles should be reversed in any way because it would make my life and aspirations more difficult, and I'm selfish. Maybe I would be happier if I was a wife/mother, but that 100% requires having a suitable man (not guaranteed). I'd shrivel and die alone before having sex with someone unsuitable. Going off of a society with past gender dynamics in place, without a suitable man guaranteed and without the ease of entering higher education, what would I be left with? Would I be happier or would I be even more miserable? I'm not traditionally feminine, either, so I'd likely have even more trouble fitting in. At least with the societal equality we have right now I can be myself and try to earn whatever I want through my own merit.
 
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what's trending on Twitter, or TikTok, or some other retard hub. Throw that into Google Scholar, fall down a rabbit hole, then write a paper on that.
Jesus fucking Christ. You're supposedly talking about intellectual pursuits. TikTok? Twitter? You cannot be serious. None of those have anything remotely intellectually serious about them. Why do this instead of something with more depth?

My favorite author, Thomas Sowell, has published several books to elucidate the common man on topics that confound him. Maybe one day you'll have a rival to scratch that itch for competition. I've watched Veritasium videos to know this has happened multiple times throughout history among intellectual pioneers.
Thomas Sowell would not find TikTok, videos, etc. intellectual material. Sorry, but no.

Autodidacticism is fine as far as it goes, but is not just "oh, you can teach yourself anything just as well and cheaper than college."

Case in point (maybe, or just a gap): "elucidate" roughly means, "to throw light on." Iow, you don't "elucidate" "the common man on x"; you elucidate "x," potentially for the common man. Usage examples:




that means they wouldn't be equal
Absolutely incorrect, and I have no idea how "today's yoots" have no comprehension or background for this. Lazy. Equality is not, and never has been the same thing as identity. Problem? Take it up with the entirety of Western thought. Go autodidact on this, - which, btw, means painstakingly going through every line and concept with an intent to understand and synthesize, not react or reject, as well as reading the cited materials in their entireties in the same way...as a start.

The ideal of equality is insidious because it denies the individual his or her individuality.
I truly can't with this anymore. Absolutely the inverse.
 
Jesus fucking Christ. You're supposedly talking about intellectual pursuits. TikTok? Twitter? You cannot be serious. None of those have anything remotely intellectually serious about them. Why do this instead of something with more depth?
You're talking to someone who convinced himself that watching a TikTok video and grabbing the first result from Google Scholar to shit out an essay is comparable to writing a peer-reviewed article. This is the level that we're speaking of when anyone on the Internet brings up autodidacticism. It's like Ethan Ralph pretending to be a philosopher and a journalist.

Edit: It's also part of the reason why I personally dislike Sowell. He attracts the most retarded type of pseud.
 
Structured learning environments and goals are a very good way to suppress suicide, and it'll hopefully get me into a job that doesn't make me want to blow my brains out.
many jobs are gay and lame. Even if you go into academia you still have to deal with publishing articles, applying for grands, congresses and networking, etc. I dont know what your average job was, but the most important skill to have in modern life is to be able to endure 32+ hours of office life without putting an iron between your teeth.
Sure, I've written and self-published casual articles and rants about my hobbies before
Brave of you to publish them. I write reviews, notes and thoughts on things I like but would never dare to publish them.
 
Jesus fucking Christ.
You're talking to someone who convinced himself that watching a TikTok video and grabbing the first result from Google Scholar to shit out an essay is comparable to writing a peer-reviewed article. This is the level that we're speaking of when anyone on the Internet brings up autodidacticism. It's like Ethan Ralph pretending to be a philosopher and a journalist.
Bravo you both. I was preparing for an exam today and didn't go too deep into the retardation aspect of what user Happy Camper said, but you were spot on. I don't know if HC is higher educated, but what he's talking about is apples to oranges. His examples of what I should do in lieu of education are like a layman's understanding of what college actually is. There are a lot of limits to autodidacticism, especially in scientific pursuits, like, say, equipment and materials. You can try to teach yourself how to create something like ibuprofen all you want but you're not actually going to understand the process until you do it and are judged on its quality, the same way writing an essay is "easy" until its being judged against college level metrics by a professor whose been teaching for decades. I don't even use social media so idk what I could possibly find that I could write an essay on.
I have a friend who also has difficulty understanding the point of in-depth/higher education. He was a Texan home-schooled kid :lol:
many jobs are gay and lame. Even if you go into academia you still have to deal with publishing articles, applying for grands, congresses and networking, etc.
I'm well aware that many jobs are gay and lame. I don't have any illusions of grandeur when it comes to the jobs I could get with my degree. My logic is that its going to suck no matter what, so I should try to do something that I enjoy. The things that I enjoy require a college degree and education.
Networking isn't actually an issue. I love talking to my professors and staff. In my mind, we all have a common ground and that makes it easy to speak with them. I get scholarship news this week, and two of my professors wrote recommendations for me. Hopefully I get it!
I dont know what your average job was, but the most important skill to have in modern life is to be able to endure 32+ hours of office life without putting an iron between your teeth.
No promises. I can't even step outside during sunhigh without an immediate headache, don't get me started on the sounds and smells. My current job right now is fine (I still hate it), but I work 20 hours a week.
Brave of you to publish them. I write reviews, notes and thoughts on things I like but would never dare to publish them.
Most of them are unpublished, and those that are don't fall under my actual name. You can make SO MANY wordpress blogs. Usually I just end up ranting about things to my friends, though they don't always want to read what I write, like my scathing review of Chocolat (2000).
 
No promises. I can't even step outside during sunhigh without an immediate headache, don't get me started on the sounds and smells
That's rough. An internet friend worked in an icecream factory and the sweet smell really got to him. I wouldn't be able to work in a loud environment either, even if I dont have to concentrate, purely because how tiring it would be.
The things that I enjoy require a college degree and education.
That's true, I hope you can skip the simple jobs that ask for college degrees because I've been through some job interviews for jobs that required a college degree that were not deep at all. One asked for college+ and then I got turned down "because I would get bored quickly". Why the fuck are you asking for college degrees or higher if you are hiring for data entry into excel sheets.
like my scathing review of Chocolat (2000).
Are you sure you're a woman? Women love chocolat.
 
That's true, I hope you can skip the simple jobs that ask for college degrees because I've been through some job interviews for jobs that required a college degree that were not deep at all. One asked for college+ and then I got turned down "because I would get bored quickly". Why the fuck are you asking for college degrees or higher if you are hiring for data entry into excel sheets.
Yeah that's why I'm so focused on speaking with my professors and being active in my classes. Sometimes its hard to get to talk to them but I'm very persistent and they've all been nice. I also help my classmates when they're stuck on something, though tutoring some of them is legitimately painful.
Are you sure you're a woman? Women love chocolat.
I haven't seen the film in two years, but based on the notes I took about it there are glaring issues. The entire premise of the movie is that a provincial town in France is too uptight and they should learn to "let loose" once in a while, but in my opinion that premise is inherently flawed due to Lent.
The chocolate shopwoman decides to go to a rural town, in 1959, during Lent, and set up a chocolate shop on the first day. What the fuck did she think was going to happen? The townspeople even tell her that they'll eat her chocolate after Lent, but they have to wait until then. Regardless of their initial kindness, the film treats the townspeople as flawed for this lmao. Also there's a plot point where the mayor of the town leaks the fact that the shopwoman is an unmarried mother, but the issue is that SHE corrected him when he assumed that her husband was perhaps dead. She specifically told him that she is an unmarried woman with a child, and then she gets angry when he reveals that later? What?

The celebration of gluttony in this film is so great that one of the other plot points is that a diabetic woman literally gorges herself to death on the chocolate from the shopwoman. And then there's the whole retarded plot with the gypsies and the fire. I also remember being very confused and appalled when the shopwoman's backstory was revealed. Her mother stole the child-shopwoman from her father and its never mentioned again :story: what the fuck. Fuck that guy, I guess? No fatherhood for him?
The main male love interest gypsy specifically says something along the lines of "ignore these backwards people" in reference to the fact that she's having difficulty selling chocolate, but 1) its fucking LENT 2) they welcomed her to the town and let her take up property and start a business. What the hell do you mean "backwards"? Surely when you go to a small town, you shouldn't shit on their floor when they let you in, yes?
Idk the whole film gave me a bad impression and it was a slog to get through at many points. Good production value and camera work but it had poor morals and themes.
 
Yeah that's why I'm so focused on speaking with my professors and being active in my classes. Sometimes its hard to get to talk to them but I'm very persistent and they've all been nice. I also help my classmates when they're stuck on something, though tutoring some of them is legitimately painful.
It’s nice that you’re helpful to other people, but that’s the problem, it’s nice. Women don’t find nice arousing. They find it attractive if you’ve already aroused them in other ways, but niceness doesn’t make women want to date you.

(To define my terms:
Arousing — inspiring a desire for short-term fucking within a woman
Attractive — inspiring a desire for long-term commitment within a woman)
 
It’s nice that you’re helpful to other people, but that’s the problem, it’s nice. Women don’t find nice arousing. They find it attractive if you’ve already aroused them in other ways, but niceness doesn’t make women want to date you.

(To define my terms:
Arousing — inspiring a desire for short-term fucking within a woman
Attractive — inspiring a desire for long-term commitment within a woman)
Good thing I'm not gay then! :biggrin:
 
It’s nice that you’re helpful to other people, but that’s the problem, it’s nice. Women don’t find nice arousing. They find it attractive if you’ve already aroused them in other ways, but niceness doesn’t make women want to date you.

(To define my terms:
Arousing — inspiring a desire for short-term fucking within a woman
Attractive — inspiring a desire for long-term commitment within a woman)
Really hitting the nail on the head there.
At the core of it all, I think that's always been my problem. Women in general don't find me arousing. And the possible 'tism doesn't help, being kinda tistic is like silica gel packets for pussy. Then the very few that might think of me in that way I filter out myself by being too retarded to understand any signals they might be sending.
 
Mockery aside, I think it's important to try to look for NOT someone who matches your interests 100%, but someone who has enough in common (and it has to be something very core to yourself) that you can connect over, but enough differences that you can learn from each other.

Never look for just an Eggman "Now neither of us will be virgins" situation. Most people hate a lot about themselves, do you want someone who's just like you so you can hate them too?

But something in common you gotta have.

For a while I was with a woman, and though she was great and we liked each other intensely, neither of us liked anything that the other one liked. We didn't even share much in ways of life experience, values, opinions, etc. We just really liked each other as persons, and enjoyed each other's company a lot. That can carry you for a while, but sooner or later you start to feel the disconnect. So it fizzled out as we both realized we just weren't for each other, and that we had been keeping it going for its own sake, more than because it was going anywhere.

So, uh, if art is core to you, that's what you gotta look for. Sport, animals, a specific belief, whatever it is. Then explore her world and let her explore yours.
True, it also being able to tolerate or have some passing interest in their shit as well.

Eg. Shopping. Women everywhere are literally addicted to it. I'm not exactly a huge fan buuuttt I can be assed to go with a girl to a mall/shopping district for the afternoon and look around and say "mmm hmmm that sure looks nice" to a lady.


Mine either. I don't know if maybe it's because we're on different age demographics (I'm in my early 40's and dating women within a 3-to-5 year range up or down from my age, no younger or older than that), and I'm dealing with people a bit more mature and with more valuable life experience.
Or maybe the dating pool where I live (the least Latin-American country in Latin America) is just mentally healthier than DJT's which I assume is the USA. Cultural differences and all that. I've often heard the horror stories from the US dating world and I think "damn, women here have their issues but what the fuck is that".

Or a combination of both, who knows.

Or maybe it's just the way DJT sees the world, or what he tells himself when he fails for entirely different reasons. We all try to protect our egos sometimes.
Damn early 40s in Argentina must be like shooting fish in a barrel. 😜 Women in LATM are usually more direct but they also cheat and expect to be cheated on like crazy. Unless they're fuck ugly.
Whataboutism but whatever.

Out of the 48 people I consider friends 30 are in/ have been in relationships. Of these 30 I would consider 4 of them to be fat (2 are in a relationship with another fat person). I live in an area of the US not known for fitness.

I don't think you have proved your point.
48 friends..., buddy in 5 years you'll be lucky to count 10-15 people on Earth as friends and close friends aka ride of die types will be low single digits.
 
Damn early 40s in Argentina must be like shooting fish in a barrel. 😜 Women in LATM are usually more direct but they also cheat and expect to be cheated on like crazy. Unless they're fuck ugly.
Not an Argie; Chilean actually. But I'll concede that both Chile and Argentina are about equally as culturally separate from the rest of Latin America as the other, just in different directions.

I'll say I expect Argie women to be more direct as you say. Chilean culture generally values politeness (they used to say we were "The English of South America", while Args were clearly the Italians), so there's a lot of dancing around the point. Which I'm frankly tired of. I'm making a point of being transparent and direct about things, even if it's not strategically the best way.

---

Had that much delayed date with Reasonable, and it went wonderfully.
Which is refreshing, given the last few stories I've bored this thread with.
Still time for it to go wrong, but let's do the Null thing and be Possitive Pollies for once.
 
People actually ask for dating advice on here? Get involved in a Church group, volunteer, befriend an older coworker (like play cards or get a drink with them), and genuinely do something you enjoy. If you want a partner then have something in common with them that you both enjoy. Then after years of that trap them and force them to enjoy your hobbies.

Do not be poor.
 
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