Why are old people so retarded?

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Freya

Freya

Plancpills.org
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 2, 2019
Gardening is one of my hobbies. I took a seasonal job at a greenhouse/garden supply store to make some extra cash and get that sweet employee discount.

Whenever I check out a young person's purchase, they just put their shit on the counter, pay and leave.

When it's an old person, they ALWAYS have a retarded question and want some weird special request thing done. "UH can you raw dog it and put a piece of carpet on top?" They still pay with checks and can't even use the fucking pinpad right.

Actual conversation:
"Are the hanging baskets still buy one get one free?"
"Yes"
30 seconds later
"So these are buy one get one free?"
"Yes, all hanging baskets are buy one get one free"
"Well these are hanging baskets"
No fucking shit you old skank.
It didn't even end there. I hand her the receipt and tell her all the discounts are there. "So the baskets were buy one get one?!?!"

They all somehow have giant 4 door trucks now. They use them to go 25mph in a 50. They come to a complete stop to make a right turn. They BRAKE AT GREEN LIGHTS.

Do they attend conferences to brain storm new ways to be insufferable? What the fuck is wrong with them?
 
Solution
Absolutego
They're old, retired, and probably live a pretty lonely existence. The constant questions are an awkward attempt to spark up a conversation that never works because millennials are the opposite extreme of total social autists who get nervous ordering a pizza over the phone.
RE: the boomer buses, it's a SUV for retirees who want to believe they're outdoorsy/don't have any or a lot of grandkids they're ferrying around on the regular. But it's big and scares them, so they drive scared.
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I made an old person laugh really hard because I said a cactus looked like Richard Nixon. that felt good. ok im done being a hater for today
 
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The older I get the more I notice boomers and millennials are a lot more alike than they like to think. They’re both cripplingly autistic in regards to their social skills, one never knows when to shut the fuck up and stop wasting everyone’s time and the other has a panic attack and a week’s worth of therapy placing a drive through order at McDonald’s. Both generations blame the other for being stupid and useless, one does nothing but sit in front of the tv all day, the other does nothing but stare at a phone all day. I can keep going.

I just think it’s funny for all the bitching about each other you all do, you’re a match made in Heaven.
 
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Wait until I become really old and then I ask how I could use the next generation toilets and order goyslop from a robot.

Like how the older generations have trouble operating new tech devices, they were never familiar with them in the first place.
 
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I love old people. They have the best stories and aren't weird about making small talk with strangers.
A lot of them are also pretty chill because they've been around a long time and have seen a lot.
I can't wait to be old enough to get my husband and I matching track suits and join a walking club at the mall.
 
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