Which lolcow would you elect pope?

[Justice Tony]

In case you have not heard, His Holiness has sadly passed away. So if you were a cardinal and God told you to vote for a lolcow to fill the Chair of St. Peter, who would you pick? For me it would probably be Joshua Block since alcoholism is no big deal, at least compared to the other vices that lolcows have.

 

[TheRaptorJesus]

Jack Scalfani.

 

[Farsided]

I cast a vote for "DSP - Phil Burnell", known henceforth as Obscurus Latus Phillippus

May his geese flocking laugh be blessed, may his self-fornication never be broadcast ever again. Amen.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Quite honestly @henstepl seems like a swell guy

 

[SouthernBitchBob]

Becky Gerber. Can you imagine the BPD bullshit if she were handed  another religion she can pretend to practice and had a global platform to complain about how persecuted she is?

 

[henstepl]

Quite honestly @henstepl seems like a swell guy

I will accept this, in order to control the Jews the Germans and the Catholics all at once.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Terry Davis is the ONLY correct answer, 'oh but hes dead', we had a dead pope once, we can do it again.

 

[Ventrue]

PWR and watch him have all of his favorite wrestlers canonized as saints and he would declare Burger King holy grounds.

 

[Laburnum]

Ben Thorp, maybe the publicity and overwhelming pontifical duties would take up so much of his time that he would no longer be able to keep on fucking his daughter.

 

[Earl of Slander]

Dead included?
Fedsmoker
Dude would crucify so many goddamned chomo priests for not following proto, it would be glorious.

Living only?
Tony Chase
Partly I just want to see a schizo running the Catholic Church, but also I'd like to see how Tony reacts when he actually does have a position of power and fame.

 

[Oh Sugar]

JD Vance, if he qualifies as a lolcow.

 

[GratsTheat783]

Alex Eagleston/Hogenderp.

 

[BunchaBabyDucks]

Terry has achieved sainthood, TempleOS is a coding miracle!

Terry Davis is the ONLY correct answer, 'oh but hes dead', we had a dead pope once, we can do it again.

I demand we exhume him at once!

 

[parsnip]

Terry Davis for sure. If we can't resurrect him, probably king cobra. He seems pretty chill as far as lolcows go.

 

[Althalus]

I am surprised no one has nominated the True and Honest Jesus Christ Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu Blue Heart.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

Tamers12345.

 

[Dave The Diver]

CWC hands down. He's the absolute GOAT and would bring Catholicism into a new golden age.

JD Vance, if he qualifies as a lolcow.

Not yet, but give him some time...

 

[Adolf Hulkler]

"sadly passed away"
more like thankfully.
patrick tomlinson would make a good pope.