When will my Prince come?

[OrionBalls]

Should I defeat him in mortal combat to win his hand? Maybe bake him some cookies? What do?

 

[dick brain]

 

[Johnathan Readit]

it's spelled kombat, no wonder he won't bed you.

 

[PositiveMonk]

He's not coming, he died in 2016.

 

[Freshly Baked Socks]

The cookies thing. I mean, you should do kegels, pilates, yoga, and at least two Home Ec.-based interest too...

So, yeah, cookies are a place to start. Consider it your first merit badge, trooper.

ETA: Are you putting paint on your face? A little paint on the face goes a long way to making almost anyone look attractive these days.

 

[peachlover669]

Have you tried the "spellbound strategy" technique?

 

[Detective Carey]

The classic way is to end up trapped in a castle by some sort of black magic using Saracen, then hoping your prince embarks on a quest to rescue you via a series of baffling collect a thon logic puzzles involving him picking up and pocketing everything not nailed down, and then rubbing it all against everything else in desperation, until he eventually stumbles into saving you.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

He'll come when you stick your finger up his butt and tickle his prostate.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

When you speed up.

 

[Pure Soap]

when you do the needful, saar

 

[the grey cat]

when you finally leave your mom's basement and go outside.

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

30 seconds after you give him a handjob

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

IDK for me its after the second verse of Bohemian Rhapsody

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

Cup the balls & throat it all then start humming

 

[Mesh Gear Fox]

He'll come when you stick your finger up his butt and tickle his prostate.

While blowing him.

 

[DickMain]

When you work the shaft.