When do I get my wizard powers?

[SandyCat]

It's been months since I've achieved the rite of passage but I still can't conjure fireballs or big tiddy demon dick ladies

 

[dick brain]

Guess you got raped at some point, tough luck kid.

 

[Bargain Bin Laden]

Maybe you should come back to me for another session.

 

[Lokenstien]

If you have stayed pure and virgin than 30 cycles around the great fireball in the sky will be all you need to wait. If your flesh has been touched upon by unclean acts than unfortunately you will perish powerless and destitute of your magical potential.

 

[Gatdam Animal Person]

It is a mystery, but one thing is certain, there's a Wizard deep into your soul.

 

[Testacles Maximus]

You need to start simple with lightning bolts.

 

[generic sauce]

Because you got raped as a kid faggot.

 

[I've Seen Some More Shit]

If you've ever even touched your wiener it doesn't work, sorry.

 

[m1ddl3m4rch]

The Oz school of wizardry is just bullshitting, like telling guys they have courage or a heart, or using pyrotechnics to intimidate your way out of helping your petitioners. Maybe you're that kind of wizard.

 

[Mr.Miyagi]

Maybe your mana is too low. Try drinking a few potions.

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

Have you pondered your orb yet?
Orbpondering is an integral part of wizardry!

You gotta ponder it, I tell you!