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She sat us down in the living room. She explained that although she was the same person we had always known and loved, she understood herself to be a different gender than the one she’d grown up as.
My wife and I had questions, of course. (To be honest, there are still things I don’t understand very well.) But we assured her we would accept and love her no matter what. And we committed to accepting, loving and supporting her, knowing that we would figure it out together.
Although my educational and clinical background as a psychologist provided me with a basic understanding of gender identity, living in close relationship with someone identifying as transgender was much different, much more personal. I didn’t know how to best respond to my daughter’s needs; I worried what people in my church would think about my wife’s and my parenting. It was difficult for me to adjust to using our daughter’s new name at first. In conversations with people who I thought might disapprove or look down on me, I would try to find ways to avoid using her new name or her pronouns.
As a psychologist, I knew I needed to look to medical experts to understand what health care for transgender people was most helpful. I knew a little about the medical treatments, but as I applied myself to researching the topic in depth, I came to understand that gender-affirming care is the standard of care established by the most prestigious and rigorous medical associations in the United States, including the American Psychological Association,American Psychiatric Association, American Medical Association, American Academy of Pediatrics, and theFederation of Pediatric Organizations.
I learned that families deciding to receive such care made the decision in the context of deliberative, ongoing conversations involving the youth, their parents and physician, consistent with the ethical guidelines established by the professional associations named above as well as state licensing laws, and governed by state licensing boards.
I’m now convinced that gender-affirming care is the strongest research-supported treatment for individuals experiencing severe gender dysphoria, the clinically significant distress related to living in a body out of sync with the way a person sees themself. In many people, the disharmony is so intense that it motivates them to change the way they present themselves to the world. Without that health care, I came to understand, my own daughter would suffer the great pain of being forced to live in a way that wasn’t true to who she really is.
Five Texas families are currently suing the state over its recent ban on gender-affirming health care for transgender young people. As the father of a trans daughter, I applaud them, and I appreciate what they’re doing for the more than 30,000 transgender youth in the state. But this fight isn’t just about kids and families like mine. As a Christian and a licensed psychologist, I urge all Texans to join me in demanding quality health care for everyone.
We are all connected to one another, and in our system of representative leadership, our leaders have a moral responsibility to all citizens. Yet, the leaders of our state are prohibiting medical treatment that we know can be effective. Though more robust, long-term research is needed, the strongest studies so far indicate that gender-affirming treatment is associated with lower odds of depression, psychological distress and suicidality.
As a Christian, I have worked to develop a cohesive understanding of scripture, particularly the life and teachings of Jesus. I’ve worked to integrate this with my understanding of consensus medical guidance, as well as my personal experience of being dad to a beautiful transgender daughter.
Doing so has brought me to the conclusion that turning a blind eye to the suffering of transgender youth and their families is a grievous moral error. Those in power are declaring themselves to be virtuous but “the other” to be morally deficient and deserving of legal consequences. Yet, the apostle Paul lays bare this deficient moral reasoning: “There is no one righteous…” (Romans 3:10).
In my spare time, I have been taking a class on the writings and theology of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. In “Creation and Fall,” Bonhoeffer writes that in committing the first sin, Adam and Eve acted in a way that elevated themselves above other created beings. In the process of their fall, Adam and Eve created new categories of good and evil, becoming “as God,” just as the serpent predicted. This action not only broke their relationship with God, it also broke their relationships with humans yet to come. These stories hold true for us today: Treating those created in the image of God as undeserving lesser beings has consequences for us all.
We were created to stand in solidarity with all people. So what would it look like, a moral vision in which we stand in solidarity with our transgender friends and siblings? According to Bonhoeffer, we would model ourselves on the things that Jesus said and did: “the self-announcing, self-witnessing, self-revealing God in Jesus Christ.”
Jesus worked among the people of his day, healing and bringing life. This stands in stark contrast to the restriction of health care enacted by state legislators today.
I have appealed to you as a psychologist and a Christian. Now I appeal to you as the dad of a trans daughter. My daughter is a person with hopes and dreams. She desires, she loves, she stumbles and falls. She is more stubborn than I would like her to be. She is loyal to a fault, and her mother and I love her desperately.
She is just like all kids in so many ways. I want for her what any parent wants for their child: for her to find her way in life, to know love and to have compassion for others.
I believe that’s possible in Texas. This fight is not yet over.
What would Jesus do about trans kids?
Around two years ago, my daughter came out to my wife and me as transgender. That day my mother-in-law had just died. We were together as a family, and maybe the gravity of the moment made my daughter think we’d be more open to what she had to say.She sat us down in the living room. She explained that although she was the same person we had always known and loved, she understood herself to be a different gender than the one she’d grown up as.
My wife and I had questions, of course. (To be honest, there are still things I don’t understand very well.) But we assured her we would accept and love her no matter what. And we committed to accepting, loving and supporting her, knowing that we would figure it out together.
Although my educational and clinical background as a psychologist provided me with a basic understanding of gender identity, living in close relationship with someone identifying as transgender was much different, much more personal. I didn’t know how to best respond to my daughter’s needs; I worried what people in my church would think about my wife’s and my parenting. It was difficult for me to adjust to using our daughter’s new name at first. In conversations with people who I thought might disapprove or look down on me, I would try to find ways to avoid using her new name or her pronouns.
As a psychologist, I knew I needed to look to medical experts to understand what health care for transgender people was most helpful. I knew a little about the medical treatments, but as I applied myself to researching the topic in depth, I came to understand that gender-affirming care is the standard of care established by the most prestigious and rigorous medical associations in the United States, including the American Psychological Association,American Psychiatric Association, American Medical Association, American Academy of Pediatrics, and theFederation of Pediatric Organizations.
I learned that families deciding to receive such care made the decision in the context of deliberative, ongoing conversations involving the youth, their parents and physician, consistent with the ethical guidelines established by the professional associations named above as well as state licensing laws, and governed by state licensing boards.
I’m now convinced that gender-affirming care is the strongest research-supported treatment for individuals experiencing severe gender dysphoria, the clinically significant distress related to living in a body out of sync with the way a person sees themself. In many people, the disharmony is so intense that it motivates them to change the way they present themselves to the world. Without that health care, I came to understand, my own daughter would suffer the great pain of being forced to live in a way that wasn’t true to who she really is.
Five Texas families are currently suing the state over its recent ban on gender-affirming health care for transgender young people. As the father of a trans daughter, I applaud them, and I appreciate what they’re doing for the more than 30,000 transgender youth in the state. But this fight isn’t just about kids and families like mine. As a Christian and a licensed psychologist, I urge all Texans to join me in demanding quality health care for everyone.
We are all connected to one another, and in our system of representative leadership, our leaders have a moral responsibility to all citizens. Yet, the leaders of our state are prohibiting medical treatment that we know can be effective. Though more robust, long-term research is needed, the strongest studies so far indicate that gender-affirming treatment is associated with lower odds of depression, psychological distress and suicidality.
As a Christian, I have worked to develop a cohesive understanding of scripture, particularly the life and teachings of Jesus. I’ve worked to integrate this with my understanding of consensus medical guidance, as well as my personal experience of being dad to a beautiful transgender daughter.
Doing so has brought me to the conclusion that turning a blind eye to the suffering of transgender youth and their families is a grievous moral error. Those in power are declaring themselves to be virtuous but “the other” to be morally deficient and deserving of legal consequences. Yet, the apostle Paul lays bare this deficient moral reasoning: “There is no one righteous…” (Romans 3:10).
In my spare time, I have been taking a class on the writings and theology of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. In “Creation and Fall,” Bonhoeffer writes that in committing the first sin, Adam and Eve acted in a way that elevated themselves above other created beings. In the process of their fall, Adam and Eve created new categories of good and evil, becoming “as God,” just as the serpent predicted. This action not only broke their relationship with God, it also broke their relationships with humans yet to come. These stories hold true for us today: Treating those created in the image of God as undeserving lesser beings has consequences for us all.
We were created to stand in solidarity with all people. So what would it look like, a moral vision in which we stand in solidarity with our transgender friends and siblings? According to Bonhoeffer, we would model ourselves on the things that Jesus said and did: “the self-announcing, self-witnessing, self-revealing God in Jesus Christ.”
Jesus worked among the people of his day, healing and bringing life. This stands in stark contrast to the restriction of health care enacted by state legislators today.
I have appealed to you as a psychologist and a Christian. Now I appeal to you as the dad of a trans daughter. My daughter is a person with hopes and dreams. She desires, she loves, she stumbles and falls. She is more stubborn than I would like her to be. She is loyal to a fault, and her mother and I love her desperately.
She is just like all kids in so many ways. I want for her what any parent wants for their child: for her to find her way in life, to know love and to have compassion for others.
I believe that’s possible in Texas. This fight is not yet over.
