Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
AnOminous said:
Since Chris doesn't really have anything to settle with, Cole, being the giant douche he is, would be entirely within his legal rights to go ahead and force the sale.
Click to expand...
I don't get this vitriol toward Cole that seems so common here. We know he's a jackass when it comes to film reviews. That doesn't mean he feels a specific desire to fuck a recently orphaned Chris out of his home.
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
I don't get this vitriol toward Cole that seems so common here. We know he's a jackass when it comes to film reviews. That doesn't mean he feels a specific desire to fuck a recently orphaned Chris out of his home.
Click to expand...

Well, our disagreement will be resolved when Barb dies and Cole acts like the mammoth douche he is. Or doesn't, in which case you win.

It's no biggie to me.
 
I am sure if he could be, Cole would be a jackass to Barb , who kind of earned that.

But I'm not so sure he would try to do the same to Chris, especially if Chris is willing to buy him out.
 
In all honesty, I think Chris will post to facebook. Expect to see something like this:

"MY MOTHER IS DEAAAAAAD. Curse you Mary Lee Walsh! You and your army of jerkops have LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY MOTHER! The spirit of Barbara Anne will have your soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mrs. Walsh."
 
When Barb dies, will Chris become like a middle-aged Batman, taking revenge on the world for the death of his parents?
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
I don't get this vitriol toward Cole that seems so common here. We know he's a jackass when it comes to film reviews. That doesn't mean he feels a specific desire to fuck a recently orphaned Chris out of his home.
Click to expand...

This. I've watched a couple of Cole's reviews, he's pretty much the standard subpar film critic. From his emails with Chris, it feels a lot more that he'd rather have nothing to do with them rather than actively looking to screw them over. His main beef was with Bob and we haven't really heard of Cole's response to that.
 
Master Miller said:
This. I've watched a couple of Cole's reviews, he's pretty much the standard subpar film critic. From his emails with Chris, it feels a lot more that he'd rather have nothing to do with them rather than actively looking to screw them over. His main beef was with Bob and we haven't really heard of Cole's response to that.
Click to expand...
Eh, his main beef was with Barb about the identity of his father. Cole was just being pissy about Bob because he conjured up some sort of southern klansman image of him in his head. His real issue was with Barb for being a whore.

But otherwise I agree with you.
 
I couldn't honestly give a rat's ass about Cole. Saw his reviews, they're unbelievably boring. Also, he gave Toy Story 3 a bad score? Was he huffing a small paper bag containing Chris' DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS before he sat down to watch it or something?

Either way, though, him finding out who his father is will probably never happen. The trolls figured it out long before he did, mind you, but I'm guessing what he really wants is closure from Barb.

...yeah, good luck with that. Should've bought that Poke Flute.
 
El Rodrigo said:
I couldn't honestly give a rat's ass about Cole. Saw his reviews, they're unbelievably boring. Also, he gave Toy Story 3 a bad score? Was he huffing a small paper bag containing Chris' DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS before he sat down to watch it or something?
.
Click to expand...

Who knows? Maybe he watched the original Toy Story with Chris and hated the movie series from then onwards?

I've always wondered how Cole was financially. I can't imagine his film critic work is terribly profitable, but if he has the money to hire a private investigator and live in California, he can't be doing too badly.
 
Master Miller said:
Who knows? Maybe he watched the original Toy Story with Chris and hated the movie series from then onwards?

I've always wondered how Cole was financially. I can't imagine his film critic work is terribly profitable, but if he has the money to hire a private investigator and live in California, he can't be doing too badly.
Click to expand...

I cant remember the source on this but isnt Coles wifes family wealthy.
I think the whole critic thing may be pocket money and Mrs cole pays the bills.
 
MMX said:
I cant remember the source on this but isnt Coles wifes family wealthy.
I think the whole critic thing may be pocket money and Mrs cole pays the bills.
Click to expand...

The family resemblance is truly astounding, except there isn't really a Mrs Chris (other than himself maybe?). If that's the case, I could easily see Cole forgetting about it entirely. I can't see him wanting anything that Barb could possibly leave to him.
 
Master Miller said:
The family resemblance is truly astounding, except there isn't really a Mrs Chris (other than himself maybe?). If that's the case, I could easily see Cole forgetting about it entirely. I can't see him wanting anything that Barb could possibly leave to him.
Click to expand...

I dont think Cole even invited his family to his wedding.
Its safe to say he wants nothing to do with Chris and Barb.
 
Cole's sole accomplishment in life and the only reason anyone knows about him is he hated Toy Story 3.

That's less of an accomplishment than Sonichu.

His sole claim to fame is that he had a really stupid opinion about a really popular movie.
 
A recurring trend appears to be mistaking the benefits of his purported independence and the perceived influence Barb has on him. The world's not a charity, though. The courts haven't even bothered to provide a trial for assaulting somebody yet, let alone proactive care for his psychological obstacles. If you think a mess of transgendered people hanging around bars are going to sacrifice the money necessary to make these issues "go away", you might be more cynical than you give yourself credit for. If anything, @Cowlick should share information on how ward of the state status works.
Marvin said:
People on here don't really know what his day-to-day life is like. Chris is way more competent than we tell you about.
Click to expand...
It's a little silly to blame people for information you don't tell them.
John Daker said:
The farms will put together another care package, which would ideally be presented to him at the funeral by Marvin, in full pickle regalia.
Click to expand...
Still, you all pitched in to buy Eli an XBox that one time.
 
Not sure if anyone's brought this up yet, but, I've seen a fair amount of mention of the possibility of Chris killing himself. I've always seen him as being too self-important to really consider that option— he's going to scrape by, somehow, but there's going to be plenty of delicious drama along the way.
 
WeebyAutist said:
Not sure if anyone's brought this up yet, but, I've seen a fair amount of mention of the possibility of Chris killing himself. I've always seen him as being too self-important to really consider that option— he's going to scrape by, somehow, but there's going to be plenty of delicious drama along the way.
Click to expand...

I honestly think chris would never consider suicide as he views himself as the worlds main character, without chris there is no ongoing world.
But would chris resort to suicide threats....yup
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom