Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Isn't it obvious? Chris will lift up Patti's five ton doghouse in a fit of autistic tomgirl rage and dig her up. He will then use her bones to summon the entire Chaotic Combo and Sonichu/Rosechu and lead an Electric Hedgehog Army to DC and capture the capital, declaring himself Mayor for Life.

Or he'll shit his pants and do nothing while other people pick up the slack.
 
The Ed Gein Saga will begin.

Or the people who want to feel good about themselves by half-ass helping Chris (i.e. Rocky and Anna) will move in on him and give him horrible advice until he snaps.

Or, of course, he will shit his pants and do nothing.
 
He'll move to New York to break into a career in journalism, get overworked and fall in love with a muscular, rich, white stockbroker.
 
Emotionally speaking, I think it's important to remember that Chris has already experienced the loss of a parent - it won't be a step into completely unknown territory for him. He won't go nuts, he won't start painting Sonichu amiibos with his own feces and selling them on Etsy. He will grieve, just like we all would, and I don't expect that the grieving process will be exceptionally different for Chris than it is for anyone else. He isn't emotionally reliant upon Barb in the weird fuckmommy way that is occasionally implied here - in fact, with his regular attendance at Impulse, he's showing significant emotional independence. He's going out on his own and attempting to find a new social group independent of his mother, and moreover, one that she would probably disapprove of quite strongly.

Practically speaking, there's something that several posts in this thread have completely overlooked: Barb is far more reliant upon Chris than Chris is upon Barb. Even though we don't know the details of daily life in the household, from what we do know it's pretty obvious that Chris can care for himself on a day-to-day basis. He is perfectly capable of going to the shops, paying his bills, and so on. Barb is much less capable - whether due to laziness, infirmity, or some combination of the two, she isn't the one who runs the household. When Barb dies, it may actually significantly unburden Chris.

He'll have to catch up quite quickly on things like property taxes, home insurance (hah!), and so on, but I doubt that's beyond his capacity.

Lastly, and quite speculatively, I think it'd be interesting if once Barb dies, Chris ditched the Hoard, sold 14BLC, and moved into Charlottesville. He obviously wouldn't be able to afford a house, but I expect he'd be able to find an apartment that was within his means. That could do him a world of good.
 
Probably this.
Screen Shot 2015-06-07 at 2.47.32 PM.png
 
Emotionally speaking, I think it's important to remember that Chris has already experienced the loss of a parent - it won't be a step into completely unknown territory for him. He won't go nuts, he won't start painting Sonichu amiibos with his own feces and selling them on Etsy. He will grieve, just like we all would, and I don't expect that the grieving process will be exceptionally different for Chris than it is for anyone else. He isn't emotionally reliant upon Barb in the weird fuckmommy way that is occasionally implied here - in fact, with his regular attendance at Impulse, he's showing significant emotional independence. He's going out on his own and attempting to find a new social group independent of his mother, and moreover, one that she would probably disapprove of quite strongly.

Practically speaking, there's something that several posts in this thread have completely overlooked: Barb is far more reliant upon Chris than Chris is upon Barb. Even though we don't know the details of daily life in the household, from what we do know it's pretty obvious that Chris can care for himself on a day-to-day basis. He is perfectly capable of going to the shops, paying his bills, and so on. Barb is much less capable - whether due to laziness, infirmity, or some combination of the two, she isn't the one who runs the household. When Barb dies, it may actually significantly unburden Chris.

He'll have to catch up quite quickly on things like property taxes, home insurance (hah!), and so on, but I doubt that's beyond his capacity.

Lastly, and quite speculatively, I think it'd be interesting if once Barb dies, Chris ditched the Hoard, sold 14BLC, and moved into Charlottesville. He obviously wouldn't be able to afford a house, but I expect he'd be able to find an apartment that was within his means. That could do him a world of good.
Agreed. I think Chris thinks he's more reliant on Barb than he actually is. He's scared of living without Barb as a safety net. The fact that, practically speaking, she doesn't actually contribute anything to his life flies over his head.
 
Assuming they own the house, if Barb died I don't think Chris could afford (not would he understand) the yearly property tax on it. I don't know about the laws in his state but I'm pretty sure defaulting on taxes gets you in some hot water.
 
He'll be sad for a little while, then forget. He wil then wake up the next day at noon, drive to McDonald's, eat, then go home, play some vidya, masturbate, and then go to bed just to continue the cycle the next day.
 
Last edited:
This is a question I have pondered over many a time.

He'll hopefully be put in a care home.
 
personally, I think the damage is done, he's not going to suddenly turn things around. He was devastated by the death of his father, Barb's death will hit him harder and it won't be funny. He needs to be free of her, but his depression from her demise will blunt any potential improvement. He'll be too busy feeling sorry for himself and lamenting the lack of a replacement.
I also think that there's some possibility of an outside entity getting their claws into him for whatever reason.
 
Hopeful Answer: He will finally be thrown into the cold harsh world, likely wind up in a group home, and with any luck he will slowly learn how to survive outside of 14BLC.

More Likely Answer: he will Shit himself, then Play the pity card to just about everyone (His few IRL Friends, Gal Pal's, any still living extended Family, His White Knights and Us) asking for Money so he can remain planted in 14BLC for as long as he possibly can before he is kicked out for missing Mortgage payments, Utilities or other non-Lego bills. Then he will take up with Family/Dogooders while carrying on his usual ways never learning a thing about how to care for himself.
 
In my experience, Methodist communities, (or at least UM) are very open and accepting. If he were to refrain from openly disrupting the everyday church things, I could see Wesley Memorial welcoming him back.

Does Barb have life insurance by any chance?
 
Everyone on the Kiwi Farms posts 15 threads about it. And Null breaks out the emergency batch of Coke Zero to help him deal with it all.
 
Simple, he fucks up and goes directly to jail.

If not that, then waste his money like he always does and see what happens after that.
 
This is a question I have pondered over many a time.

He'll hopefully be put in a care home.
Chris is legally an adult. He can't be forced into a group home.
Hopeful Answer: He will finally be thrown into the cold harsh world, likely wind up in a group home, and with any luck he will slowly learn how to survive outside of 14BLC.

More Likely Answer: he will Shit himself, then Play the pity card to just about everyone (His few IRL Friends, Gal Pal's, any still living extended Family, His White Knights and Us) asking for Money so he can remain planted in 14BLC for as long as he possibly can before he is kicked out for missing Mortgage payments, Utilities or other non-Lego bills. Then he will take up with Family/Dogooders while carrying on his usual ways never learning a thing about how to care for himself.
Chris is way better with bills than people think. He's not great at it, per se, but he's not near the point where he can't survive.

Chris knows electricity is a thing. And he knows he can't bitch his electronics into working without it. He'll pay the bills.

The big question is how much error will his budget tolerate? That is, if he gets an unexpected bill, will he have the spare cash to cover it? I think initially, Chris' margin of error will be pretty small, but he'd adapt. Probably with maybe six months of Rocky holding his hand, Chris will have learned what his typical expenses are and how much he has to keep as a buffer.

People on here don't really know what his day-to-day life is like. Chris is way more competent than we tell you about.
 
When barb is dead chris can finally live his dream of replacing his mother. He will then find an autistic kid, kidnap that kid, and raise him to be the next chris-chan, just like how barb raised him.
 
Back
Top Bottom