*taps cigarette on table*
When Barb dies, I'd imagine that, first of all, Chris would start crying on Twitter. Less about his mother dying, but more worrying that he now has to go through the trouble of paying for her funeral. He then proceeds to bemoan his cursed luck, blaming Mewtwo, Magi-Chan and whatever fictional cartoon characters he 'married' (as a compromise for not succeeding with actual, consistent pussy) for not warning him with their psychic powers ahead of time, so he could have used the dimensional merge to rescue he from certain death. The CWC-ki (if it's even relevant anymore) closes for a week out of sympathy for Chris, and life carries on.
Chris carries on with his oblivious self, buying toys and video games as he does, when, upon returning to his home, he sees a big EVICTION notice on his house.
Whoopsie-doodle, he has neglected to pay his mortgage, or can't because the dumbass not only nuked his credit to Kingdom Come, but spent all the money on a brand new Playstation 5.
He starts throwing an autistic temper tantrum outside of his house, banging on the door and screaming his head off.
Either he manages to break in and the "Standoff Saga" begins between him and the cops, or Chris begins his long-awaited sequel to the "Flying Elephants" video, in the hopes that this bizarre, nauseating ritual which involves him being uncomfortably naked and making wounded pachyderm noises somehow reverses time and his multiple bans from the places he once haunted.
It doesn't work, of course, but points for trying.
The cops inevitably arrive, and, completely bewildered by this fat jiggling...thing in front of them now lying face-down on the floor, just stand around him while he sobs, right before carting him off for either being a public nuisance, or trespassing. What happens next is purely left to the imagination, but if Chris truly believes the hoodoo nonsense he's been peddling for a good portion of his life, he may attempt to ward off the jerkops with a CURSE-ME-HA-ME-HA, asking everyone on Twitter to lend their energies to him so he can vaporize his oppressors with a giant AUTISM bomb.
...it fails miserably, and Chris is tazed, his belly fat jiggling as "I have a boyfriend" plays in the background.
Chris gets taken away, the fault of his own shenanigans and nobody else, but damn if he doesn't try to blame somebody else for it in the process.
After much delays in the legal system, Chris is sentenced, either to spend time in jail or get away and pay a fine because he's retarded.
And thus ends the saga of Christian Weston Chandler.
....I'll take my 'Autistic' react now. Sorry.
