Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

[Henry Bemis]

Now that I think about it, I'm sure him and Barb have had "the talk" at this point. Ya know, the one where she says "Chris, I'm going to die soon" and then tries to walk him through all the shit he needs to do to not end up living on the street.

I'm not so sure about that. Barb is a pretty awful mother.

Considering how much she allegedly throws around suicide, the spectre of her pending death has to be present, for sure, if not in the conventional maternal sense @feedtheoctopus had in mind. More like the "Imma dyin', goddammit," sense.

 

[dankauntmaymay]

Well, when Chris himself plays on Barb's imminent demise to scam people for toy money... I think it's appropriate.

By the way... say if Chris were forced to sell the house for whatever reason, how likely is it that he would 1) Not go to a realtor, 2) Try to sell it online, and 3) given his propensity to greatly overprice anything he sells, try to sell the house at 10x its' actual value?

The idea of him trying to sell it on Ebay or Craigslist or something for half a million (with no knowledge or concern of the house's actual value) is a pretty amusing thought and not too far from the realm of possibility.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Considering how much she allegedly throws around suicide, the spectre of her pending death has to be present, for sure,, if not in the conventional maternal sense @feedtheoctopus had in mind. More like the "Imma dyin', goddammit," sense.

Manchester High is at fault for not offering a Death Ed class.

 

[ZehnBoat]

don't worry, barb wont die till 2019, i had a dream where the grim reaper told me so

 

[Marvin]

Considering how much she allegedly throws around suicide, the spectre of her pending death has to be present, for sure, if not in the conventional maternal sense @feedtheoctopus had in mind. More like the "Imma dyin', goddammit," sense.

Oh yeah, she's got Chris scared shitless of that. He's tried to call her before while on a qsand trip, and when she didn't pick up, he panicked and called 911.

 

[Apocalypso]

don't worry, barb wont die till 2019, i had a dream where the grim reaper told me so

That could be the time for the next day 20:19.

Is it wrong for me to rejoice when Barb dies; for real?

 

[IV 445]

Oh yeah, she's got Chris scared shitless of that. He's tried to call her before while on a qsand trip, and when she didn't pick up, he panicked and called 911.

See, you have so much credibility that I almost took your word for it

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Now that I think about it, I'm sure him and Barb have had "the talk" at this point. Ya know, the one where she says "Chris, I'm going to die soon" and then tries to walk him through all the shit he needs to do to not end up living on the street

Barb seems like the type of person that just probably doesn't care. "I'll be dead, I don't care. Find yourself a nice man Christine."

If he's expecting Cole to help take care of him he's going to be horribly dissapointed.

Seems like that branch of Chandler family is avoided by every other member. We could see a "Y'all need to appreciate family more" except a lot more desperate.

Hell, I could see him doing some sort of overnight stock position at wallmart or something.

Chris could do something like that. I like to imagine him getting help back when he was a kid, working blissfully away at some lower end job, but I think with his parents pushing the welfare over the years, that it would take a lot to get him motivated.

Hell, I bet half the reason they pushed welfare was that it was a stable, easy chunk of money they could take advantage of.

Alas, Chris will not do that. So it's either he sells the house, sells the shit IN the house, then buys a small apartment somewhere and lives off the tugboat to the best of his ability, or he's homeless. And chris will not survive being homeless.

Half of me imagines him being able to afford the house, if he's careful. But this is Chris. He'll probably run out of heating oil in the middle of February, or burn the house down again.

I really am starting to believe in some kind of home or something for him. It would take awhile.

Really all depends on what kind of a breakdown he has. Once Barb goes, that's it for anyone who will stomach being around him. I don't think that's sunk in yet, but when she's gone, there's really no one that will put up with him.

 

[Frozen Fishsticks]

The only way Barb will die is if you drive a stake through her heart (what heart lol), behead the corpse, and burn the remains. Or she runs out of $100 asthma medication again.

 

[feedtheoctopus]

@Null when can we get a tl;dr rating?

I have fun here

I'm not so sure about that. Barb is a pretty awful mother.

Her major issue, from what we can tell anyway, is that she always coddled him. I think she loves her son, she's just not very good at it. At any rate that kind of shit is pretty much the bare minimum of parenting. Of course Chris is in his fucking 30's and he shouldn't even NEED parenting but that's a different issue.

 

[Strelok]

Unless Barb has built up so much debt that the house is going to be forclosed by creditors when she kicks it, Chris will be fine, from a financial standpoint if not a mental one. The actual hammer of his own poor debt management won't actually come down on him for at least another decade or two. Chris has shown himself to be retarded with money sure, but not suicidal retarded with it.

He's retarded in the "After the bills I had to pay (insert rant about bills), I have $500 for frivolties for the whole month. Oooh a $500 lego set! Let's buy that! *2 days later* Oh! Another $300 lego set! Oh. I'm out of spending money. Better whine online!" sense. Not the "I spent all my money on legos and have to dumpster dive for food" sense like ADF is.

There are hundreds of thousands of people with the same sense of financial management as chris, and they still wind up on the shitty side of "mostly fine",

 

[Collections Agent]

I could use a cheap house actually. Wonder what the chances are of ripping Chris off.

Probably 0%. If anything people are going to have to fight him to get him down to market value if he ever sells.

Hes one of those people who thinks because it means something to him it is worth more. I'm fully expecting Chris to try and sell for like $500,000 due to "being the house of an internet celebrity" or some shit.

None of this probably matters anyway, bank will probably just take the house

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I think she loves her son, she's just not very good at it.

I'm a firm believer that so long as you refuse to acknowledge that other people's needs and happiness are someone more important than your own desires, you are incapable of love by any meaningful definition of the concept.

 

[anephric]

Unless Barb has built up so much debt that the house is going to be forclosed by creditors when she kicks it, Chris will be fine, from a financial standpoint if not a mental one. The actual hammer of his own poor debt management won't actually come down on him for at least another decade or two. Chris has shown himself to be retarded with money sure, but not suicidal retarded with it.

He's retarded in the "After the bills I had to pay (insert rant about bills), I have $500 for frivolties for the whole month. Oooh a $500 lego set! Let's buy that! *2 days later* Oh! Another $300 lego set! Oh. I'm out of spending money. Better whine online!" sense. Not the "I spent all my money on legos and have to dumpster dive for food" sense like ADF is.

There are hundreds of thousands of people with the same sense of financial management as chris, and they still wind up on the shitty side of "mostly fine",

The only thing about this scenario is that at some point, an emergency will happen - the furnace will stop working in the winter or the roof will need new shingles or something - and Chris will be fiscally and mentally unprepared to make ends meet at that point.

 

[AnOminous]

I don't have the time or the inclination to follow Chris anywhere other than this forum, so my opinion is only as valuable as my keyboard and the router I'm slapping my words through. But I truly and sincerely hope some ween with no life is nearby with a camera when Barb is already in the ground and Chris-Chan finally evolves into BranchlandLord-Chan.

That will probably be the ween who murders Barb.

 

[*Asterisk*]

Ever hear of a man named Ed Gein?

 

[AnOminous]

Now that I think about it, I'm sure him and Barb have had "the talk" at this point. Ya know, the one where she says "Chris, I'm going to die soon" and then tries to walk him through all the shit he needs to do to not end up living on the street.

You seriously think that psycho has even considered for one minute anything that doesn't involve herself?

 

[feedtheoctopus]

You seriously think that psycho has even considered for one minute anything that doesn't involve herself?

Well, she did keep chris instead of say, chucking him in the nearest river, so there's that, I guess.

 

[Darndirty]

Probably 0%. If anything people are going to have to fight him to get him down to market value if he ever sells.

Hes one of those people who thinks because it means something to him it is worth more. I'm fully expecting Chris to try and sell for like $500,000 due to "being the house of an internet celebrity" or some shit.

None of this probably matters anyway, bank will probably just take the house

Well he may have a point..that would be the ultimate in christory how could anyone one up that? A medallion? A shout out? A fucking drawing? Nah I got his bedroom fam

 

[ZehnBoat]

Probably 0%. If anything people are going to have to fight him to get him down to market value if he ever sells.

Hes one of those people who thinks because it means something to him it is worth more. I'm fully expecting Chris to try and sell for like $500,000 due to "being the house of an internet celebrity" or some shit.

None of this probably matters anyway, bank will probably just take the house

iirc, chris did try to sell a shitty Tv for a hell of a lot because "DA MEMORIES"