Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

[Norman B. Normal]

Fortunately we can maximize the delta-v obtained from the final Jupiter gravity-assist since we presumably don't care which trajectory Chris leaves on.

I think we want to try to avoid known stars and galaxies as much as possible to minimize the possibility of Chris contaminating life on other worlds.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Also wasteful of a perfectly good lolcow. instead stuff him into an L4 or L5 Lagrange point where we can keep an eye on him.

That's a waste of a perfectly good Lagrange point. Plus we might want to use it for something someday (though the collection of micro debris there makes it difficult), and having Chris there would curse it.

We should put him at Sun-Earth L3. If we forget about him then eventually the station keeping will fail and he'll be ejected so there is no surprise Chris for future travelers, and while he's there we won't have to look at him since the sun is in the way.

Technically the least energy solution is the ITN, but it takes a hell of a lot of time. A solar sail would be next lowest and next slowest.

I was talking in the context of presently-available technology.

I did mention the ITN, just not by name. There's a limit in the gravity assists you can do because you have to ensure your spacecraft remains functional the whole time. Once you reach solar escape velocity, then it's no problem if the spacecraft breaks as Chris will not return.

A solar sail is definitely an option, but we haven't engineered one yet that can practically reach solar escape velocity. To do it you need to either make it with a surface to weight ratio that lets it accelerate to the correct speed starting from Earth orbit, or do a retrograde burn to take it close to the sun, then open it at perihelion (and you can also use the Oberth effect there to target it toward Jupiter for an extra gravity assist), with your sail surviving proximity to the sun. While test sails have been built, nobody has built anything to this standard yet.

You could also build a laser-driven light sail, but that uses manmade energy (which we're trying to avoid), and we're not even close to building something like that.

Or we could duct tape Chris to a manhole cover and light off a nuke under it. It probably won't work, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

The manhole was certainly vaporized. While this is not a negative in terms of Chris, it's also not the goal set out in this exercise.

Also that's using a lot of man-made energy.

I don't know about that. Microbial slime inhabit those pools, so Chris and Barb might stand a chance.

I think you're confusing them with Bella.

I think we want to try to avoid known stars and galaxies as much as possible to minimize the possibility of Chris contaminating life on other worlds.

Or worse, an advanced civilization finds Chris, repairs him, and he returns to Earth as a V'ger-like superbeing.

 

[troon patrol]

So fellas, real talk. Is barb faking or exaggerating her diminished mental capacity?

So here's why I think she's faking it. She seems very different than when she's in Chris' "begging for a dollar, videos"

 

[A-№1]

I think we want to try to avoid known stars and galaxies as much as possible to minimize the possibility of Chris contaminating life on other worlds.

Or them seeking revenge.

If we forget about him then eventually the station keeping will fail and he'll be ejected so there is no surprise Chris for future travelers,

Not necessarily. Chris' exit vector would be too unpredictable. That leads to a potential sci-fi scenario worse than Alien.

*KLANG*
Navigation: Captain, we just hit something!
Captain: What is it? An asteroid?
Navigation: Worse!

Chris will not return.

I do not want to contemplate a V'Ger scenario with Chris.

While test sails have been built, nobody has built anything to this standard yet.

There hasn't exactly been an economic incentive. It's not worth it, even to get rid of Chris.

You could also build a laser-driven light sail,

The advantage there is the man-made energy doesn't have to come from mass on the ship.

Can you imagine a civilization developing sustainable, efficient fusion power just to rid itself of one individual? That almost sounds like something written by Arthur C. Clarke.

target it toward Jupiter for an extra gravity assist

No gravity whip needed. Dropping Chris into Jupiter is almost the same as dropping him into the sun, and he's guaranteed not to return as photons.

The manhole was certainly vaporized.

And by atmospheric friction, no less. But again, that's a risk I'm willing to take.

I think you're confusing them with Bella.

That would be confusing the pools for Bella. Microbial slime inhabit her, not the other way around.

Or worse, an advanced civilization finds Chris, repairs him, and he returns to Earth as a V'ger-like superbeing.

Goddamnit! You made me contemplate it.

 

[ThatOneAsshole]

What happens when she dies? Her soul will float off to white trash hell, and her body will fuse with the mattress as she decomposes

 

[Pointless Sperg]

No gravity whip needed. Dropping Chris into Jupiter is almost the same as dropping him into the sun, and he's guaranteed not to return as photons.

We might want to scoop surface gases off of Jupiter someday, which would mean scooping up part of Chris.

What happens when she dies? Her soul will float off to white trash hell

That's an interesting description of CWCville.

 

[Exceptional Chimp]

Or worse, an advanced civilization finds Chris, repairs him, and he returns to Earth as a V'ger-like superbeing.

Oh God, instead of Jason X we get Chris X. The unkillable soul-bonding machine.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Oh God, instead of Jason X we get Chris X. The unkillable soul-bonding machine.

"Nanomachines, Barbie-chan!"

:: giant metallic bent duck thrusts forward ::

 

[A-№1]

We might want to scoop surface gases off of Jupiter someday, which would mean scooping up part of Chris.

With that steep gravity well? Not to mention the radiation and debris surrounding it? Neptune and Uranus are much more suitable for scoop mining than Jupiter.

Jupiter has been the trash heap of the solar system since forever. It's best to use it as such.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Either Barb's dementia is making her not remember Chris, or Harriet has convinced her to forget all about Chris. Kind of a sad state of affairs. Barb maybe a shit parent, but as a mom, I assume, she would want to know the status of her son? The worst part is Chris in his writings, didn't really think much of Barb in a favorable light. Barb will die unloved and lonely (well, at least tolerable if she's still living with her sister). That will be the first nail in the coffin of the Weston-Chandler name. What a 'miracle child' Chris ended up being.

If it wasn't for Chris, Barb wouldn't be as 'interesting', but if Chris hadn't been born, Barb would have been a run of the mill hick with a hoard.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

With that steep gravity well? Not to mention the radiation and debris surrounding it? Neptune and Uranus are much more suitable for scoop mining than Jupiter.

Jupiter has been the trash heap of the solar system since forever. It's best to use it as such.

Scoop mining is done at orbital velocity, so you're not fighting the gravity well, just passing through it. The downside is that you get more drag from the higher velocity. Realistically the only thing you'd want to scoop is helium (both for helium-4 and helium-3) since hydrogen is abundant in ice.

Saturn actually has lower orbital velocity than Neptune in the upper atmosphere due to its lower density than Neptune, but Neptune has a higher concentration of helium. Not sure how that works out, including the composition in just the upper atmosphere.

Uranus is probably ideal as it has the slowest orbit velocity at the upper atmosphere, and has a better helium concentration than Saturn.

The main reason you'd want to mine helium at Jupiter though is that they have the best moons for habitation, and that way you wouldn't have to do interplanetary transport of the helium. In situ helium would be very scarce on icy moons, so you'd either have to get it from the gas giants or import it from the inner solar system.

For Saturn, Titan has some from carbon-14 decay, but it doesn't have plate tectonics so it doesn't have deeply buried carbon-14 deposits like Earth does to trap the helium. 16 Psyche *might* have some buried from alpha decay of heavier elements. They're not mineable on the Galilean moons and Titan due to their depth, but 16 Psyche is small enough that you could mine deep inside.

So if you want bulk helium, the best places in the solar system to get it are Earth (from buried carbon-14) and the gas giants.

Unfortunately Chris would not produce any useful amount of helium for future use, unless he were heavily irradiated first and then buried for a million years.

 

[Holiday Special]

Either Barb's dementia is making her not remember Chris, or Harriet has convinced her to forget all about Chris. Kind of a sad state of affairs. Barb maybe a shit parent, but as a mom, I assume, she would want to know the status of her son? The worst part is Chris in his writings, didn't really think much of Barb in a favorable light. Barb will die unloved and lonely (well, at least tolerable if she's still living with her sister). That will be the first nail in the coffin of the Weston-Chandler name. What a 'miracle child' Chris ended up being.

If it wasn't for Chris, Barb wouldn't be as 'interesting', but if Chris hadn't been born, Barb would have been a run of the mill hick with a hoard.

Maybe all she sees when she closes her eyes is Chris' orgasm face? Would you really want to know about the "loving" son who raped you on a schedule and bragged about it?

 

[A-№1]

The main reason you'd want to mine helium at Jupiter though is that they have the best moons for habitation,

Not in that magnetosphere. Seriously, Jupiter is a radioactive hellscape.

Unfortunately Chris would not produce any useful amount of helium for future use, unless he were heavily irradiated first and then buried for a million years.

Hey, whatever it takes, man.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Not in that magnetosphere. Seriously, Jupiter is a radioactive hellscape.

Callisto receives survivable radiation from the magnetosphere. You can walk around Callisto with a simple spacesuit, though you wouldn't want to do it all day. Ganymede you don't want to be outside without shielding for very long, but you can easily build structures that will protect you. You don't want to be on Europa or Io (Io for multiple reasons).

EDIT: Or to put it another way, you get less radiation on Callisto than you do when in daylight on the surface of Earth's moon. (The sun sucks)

If you wanted to throw Chris into a volcano, Io would be a good place to do it -- using a robotic probe of course.

 

[A-№1]

Callisto receives survivable radiation from the magnetosphere.

Survivable is not the same thing as livable.

And my point still stands that Neptune and Uranus are far more attractive targets for scoop mining, and they also have moons suitable for a mining base.

Io for multiple reasons

Io is most of the problem. Jupiter's fuckhueg magnetic field isn't so bad in itself, relatively speaking, but then Io has to go and spew massive quantities of charged particles into it.

Io is why Jupiter can't have nice things.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Survivable is not the same thing as livable.

Then Mars is off the table, as it's worse than Callisto. Any radiation Callisto gets from Jupiter is more than made up for by being really far from the Sun.

When Barb dies if you wanted to irradiate her body more, you'd send it to Mars rather than Callisto.

In terms of the lowest surface radiation in the solar system, that would be Titan. It's far from the sun AND has a thicker atmosphere than Earth. In fact the ionizing radiation dosage is so low that it might be unhealthy if the hypothesis that some radiation exposure keeps the DNA repair system functioning.

Carbon 14 levels in the atmosphere of Titan are actually four times higher than on Earth, because the thick atmosphere of nitrogen absorbs pretty much all cosmic rays. Since you don't breathe that atmosphere anyway you could just meet all your carbon needs from mines (thick crust of hydrocarbons, plus no plate tectonics to worry about). It would be a good experiment for the physiological effects of reduced internal radiation sources.

You would not want to drop Chris from orbit on Titan, as the body would be incompletely vaporized.

And my point still stands that Neptune and Uranus are far more attractive targets for scoop mining, and they also have moons suitable for a mining base.

Sure, but the further out you go the higher the ice to rock ratio is. It is more frigid than Barb's vagina will be when she dies, so the volatiles have not cooked off of anything out there, and it's harder for it to capture cooked-off asteroids, versus Jupiter which is next to the frost line. It's just harder to mine heavy stuff out there. Jupiter and Saturn have a better balance of rock that isn't locked up in the cores of moons, and you can still scoop mine Saturn about as well as you can Neptune (Saturn's orbital velocity at cloudtop is less than Neptune's -- Saturn is REALLY fluffy, but lower helium percentage).

Io is why Jupiter can't have nice things.

So why not put Chris there, since he's why Ruckersville can't have nice things?

 

[A-№1]

Then Mars is off the table, as it's worse than Callisto.

Yeah, Mars is totally fucked. Google perchlorates. And that's only the beginning.

So why not put Chris there, since he's why Ruckersville can't have nice things?

That's my point: Jupiter is the trash heap of the solar system, so it's perfect for Chris.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Yeah, Mars is totally fucked. Google perchlorates. And that's only the beginning.

The perchlorate problem has been solved in a number of ways, there's just no practical experience in which method is the best. My favorite is perchlorate-eating bacteria.

Much like the bacteria that will consume Barb when she dies.

 

[A-№1]

The perchlorate problem has been solved in a number of ways,

Only in theory. In reality that shit is everywhere in the dirt on Mars, and so it's going to get everywhere inside any human habitation. It will be a constant pain in the ass at best.

My favorite is perchlorate-eating bacteria.

Wouldn't that violate the Prime Directive, permanently damaging the Martian environment?

Much like the bacteria that will consume Barb when she dies.

It's possible the bacteria would abstain out of professional courtesy.

 

[BullDogsLipBrandClamjuice]

Once Barb goes I wonder if people will lay off him like when Bob left thr planet.

Even with the unforgivable shit, its still his mom and surley he'll be a wreck.

I see Chris as a fading star once all this jail business is over. Slowly becoming a shadow of his former self with people latching to him like sucker fish who want to jump start their internet-uh- notoriety?
People are going to try to help him indefinitely, hell someone might do that "Big Brother" idea And give him a place to stay but video of moment he's there.

On top of that people will want his art or relics more. I guess kudos to those guys since I wouldnt want to handle anything of his without BIO hazard gloves..

Hell after barb goes maybe we'll get that made-4-tv movie in a few years. Cant wait to see how the makers try to rewrite history. And the grifters will flock like preachers to the holy land.

Fuck the dude who just reads the cwiki on yt. He's like a Tim Pool type, just peddeling autism.