Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

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Pickle Inspector said:
the gift basket Null organised to send to Chris after the fire where he doesn't get any toys or money to spend on toys and instead it's just practical stuff
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On a vaguely relevant note, the scarier prospect is not that he'll lose the house after Barb dies, but that he won't be able to buy food because he'll have spent his tugboat on plastic toys.
 
Marshal Mannerheim said:
On a vaguely relevant note, the scarier prospect is not that he'll lose the house after Barb dies, but that he won't be able to buy food because he'll have spent his tugboat on plastic toys.
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What's worse, Chris way overpays by only buying fast food. Don't even suggest to him buying rice and beans in bulk, he'll probably screech at you and give you a tirade about how McDonald's fuels his chakras.
Shit, can Chris even prepare a meal? I actually wonder if he can make anything more complicated than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I wonder if he even understands how stoves work anymore.
 
The Fool said:
What's worse, Chris way overpays by only buying fast food. Don't even suggest to him buying rice and beans in bulk, he'll probably screech at you and give you a tirade about how McDonald's fuels his chakras.
Shit, can Chris even prepare a meal? I actually wonder if he can make anything more complicated than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I wonder if he even understands how stoves work anymore.
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Hey, he only burned the house down once, and that was 7 years ago. He did those blue apron things at some point and showed that he is capable of cooking food when presented to him in a highly preprocessed and expensive manner.
 
Un Platano said:
Hey, he only burned the house down once, and that was 7 years ago. He did those blue apron things at some point and showed that he is capable of cooking food when presented to him in a highly preprocessed and expensive manner.
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Actually it's interesting you bring up Blue Apron. That was the one time he ever cooked anything, and that was only because it was a prepackaged product. Not instructions on how to get the materials yourself, it was basically just another toy for him to play with.
I can't imagine the total psychological rejection Chris would experience if he tried to make his own food. He'd probably have a hard time even swallowing it knowing that he had to make it all by himself instead of some corporation packaging it in colorful wrapping with fancy instructions that an ape could follow.
It's not even jokes anymore, the Merge is literally a religion based off consumerism, he's genuinely turning this mindset into a way of life now.
 
Marshal Mannerheim said:
On a vaguely relevant note, the scarier prospect is not that he'll lose the house after Barb dies, but that he won't be able to buy food because he'll have spent his tugboat on plastic toys.
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If that does happen it'd be a good learning experience for him, although I doubt he'd learn anything since he'd just beg for money and get it and go 'Hmmm yes, just as fated'.
 
The Fool said:
Actually it's interesting you bring up Blue Apron. That was the one time he ever cooked anything, and that was only because it was a prepackaged product. Not instructions on how to get the materials yourself, it was basically just another toy for him to play with.
I can't imagine the total psychological rejection Chris would experience if he tried to make his own food. He'd probably have a hard time even swallowing it knowing that he had to make it all by himself instead of some corporation packaging it in colorful wrapping with fancy instructions that an ape could follow.
It's not even jokes anymore, the Merge is literally a religion based off consumerism, he's genuinely turning this mindset into a way of life now.
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I think he'd handle it the other way around. If Chris got off his ass to cook anything he'd think it makes him a Michelin star chef. Even a lot of people with an ego a fraction of the size of Chris's who don't have magic goddess powers tend to think like this. It's a moot point though because I really don't think Chris ever will just cook something like a functioning adult. Like a lot of people less autistic than he is, he's going to survive off of McDonalds and Hungry Man till the day he dies.
 
Curious, since Chris has a driving licence, couldn't he be a delivery guy or an Uber driver with Sonchu? I'd imagine the latter would be difficult because of how many neg-ratings he'll get from the passengers. He'd be deplatformed so quickly.
 
desu91 said:
Curious, since Chris has a driving licence, couldn't he be a delivery guy or an Uber driver with Sonchu? I'd imagine the latter would be difficult because of how many neg-ratings he'll get from the passengers. He'd be deplatformed so quickly.
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He needs a modern, reliable car. He is stuck with a dodge caravan from 2003 (iirc)
 
AnOminous said:
It annoys me when people continue to post this dumb bullshit when Barb's eternal resting place has been already determined for years and years. Are these people fucking retarded? We already know where Barb's ashes go when her corpse is cremated. THAT SHIT HAS ALREADY BEEN PAID FOR ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID SHUT THE FUCK UP!
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Yeah she's had that spot next to Bob's grave reserved for over a decade.
 
CWCissey said:
No need, Barb planned it all with Bob.

Can we get that as a subtitle or something? 'Chris won't need to organise a funeral, stop speculating about that you mongs' or something?
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How many times do I have to post the picture that literally proves that Barb's arrangements are already taken care of, and were before Bob even died, because Bob had his shit together?
1616635412604.png

See that shit, you goddamn idiots? How many times do you need to be told this? All this shit is already paid for. They ash the bitch, then add a date to the inscription on the stone, then the urn goes into the columbarium.

QUIT FUCKING SPERGING ABOUT IT WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.
 
desu91 said:
Curious, since Chris has a driving licence, couldn't he be a delivery guy or an Uber driver with Sonchu? I'd imagine the latter would be difficult because of how many neg-ratings he'll get from the passengers. He'd be deplatformed so quickly.
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The Dodge is too old, so Uber definitely wouldn't take him. Not sure about DoorDash, etc. Regardless, that's work, which Chris doesn't want to do, nor does he need to do from a mathematical/legal standpoint. Even when Barb goes to the Hoard in the Sky, the tugboat will be more than enough for him to rent a shitty little efficiency apartment, or pay rent for a room in someone's house or something, and still cover his bills and food. He just won't have much toy money, which will piss him off.

CWCissey said:
No need, Barb planned it all with Bob.

Can we get that as a subtitle or something? 'Chris won't need to organise a funeral, stop speculating about that you mongs' or something?
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We'd need like 50 subtitles for stuff that's already been established, and people still wouldn't read them. It's annoying, but there's a reason for the "containment" label.
 
The Fool said:
What's worse, Chris way overpays by only buying fast food. Don't even suggest to him buying rice and beans in bulk, he'll probably screech at you and give you a tirade about how McDonald's fuels his chakras.
Shit, can Chris even prepare a meal? I actually wonder if he can make anything more complicated than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I wonder if he even understands how stoves work anymore.
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According to the Cwckipedia, Anna asked Chris if he could make spaghetti...he nervously tried to resort to Chef Boyardee Spaghetti instead.
 
Cheerlead-in-Chief said:
According to the Cwckipedia, Anna asked Chris if he could make spaghetti...he nervously tried to resort to Chef Boyardee Spaghetti instead.
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I often think about how crazy chris really is, like what level of autistic derealization is he at. I watched a podcast that had him on there, and i really think he needs like to be institutionalized. I would love to genuinely ask him if he can do laundry, cook, clean, and maintain himself.
 
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