What will happen when Amber dies? - It‘s like the Barb Thread but with Amber

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

What will become of CadaverLynn?

  • Cremation, local zoo incinerator

    Votes: 144 33.1%

  • Burial, piano box

    Votes: 79 18.2%

  • Science, largest-ever donation to Body Farm

    Votes: 76 17.5%

  • Controlled explosion of her carcass on the shores of Toxic Shock Lake

    Votes: 136 31.3%
  • Total voters
    435
hotcheetospuffs said:
View attachment 528611
Click to expand...

Barbarella said:
I was going to go through the difficult cremation process for a deathfats, but then I realized she’s in bumfuck KY. They probably have large size crematoriums all over the place.
Click to expand...

a834604 said:
She would probably have to be cremated in a furnace designed for large animals, like horses and so on. Hauling her quarter ton body around alone will be really expensive.
Click to expand...
from what I learned at university and hear about, cremating large animals like horses isnt all that common. (The uni I went to admitted they dispose their horses in a "landfill"... don't know the details, but definitely not cremation, "landfill" is how it was told to me.)
It's more likely a burial, or rendering, or disposal to an approved place comparable to a "landfill" when a horse dies, due to the size of the animal and the cost/labor of such a service.

(Maybe we should talk about the disposal of cattle carcasses, given the resemblance, ha ha ha...)

FWIW I looked pursued the interwebs for info about horse cremation and came across an anecdote on quora

20200430_014524.jpg

The weight of a horse a la google:
20200430_014506.jpg

Long story short, it would be a fuckton of ashes proportionally, even though amberlynn weighs less than a horse.

Dutch Courage said:
I noticed upthread somewhere that Amberlynn wishes to be cremated, which sounds so romantic...

Sadly though, a reality check reveals that she is mostly out of luck. Generally speaking, most crematoriums simply cannot cremate persons over about 260 lbs. (Snip informative explanation, thank you)
Click to expand...
So Amberlynn needs to start planning on a double-plot burial... Not the most romantic of burials, but it will save her survivors a lot of trouble.
Click to expand...
It would be optimistic to think amberlynn reid gives enough of a shit to look into this kind of thing for the sake of her survivors :story:

She did say recently in that stupid 127 reasons I want to lose weight that the size and cost of a coffin for her fat ass would be a lot of money.

She cares enough about the trouble her death might cause to loved ones to mention it for ass pats but not enough to get health or life insurance or to actually lose the damn weight before it got this bad

 
It seems like a good time to resurrect this thread.

Tbh if her cancer gets worse, she has time to plan for her death, whether it be location or inheritance, so this changes things.

Hopefully they pick a location for her to die where a wall wont have to be broken down to get her dead body.
 
With morbidly obese bodies, shit is much more expensive. Oversized caskets are $3k-$5k, and cemetaries may require Amber's family to buy two plots or a larger plot. If she's embalmed, it would take 3-4 times the amount of embalming fluid. Cremation machines may not be big enough, and the amount of fat could cause problems with machine ventilation.
 
Enoby Way said:
Ask A Mortician explains what happens when you die fat.

Click to expand...
Lol I love Caitlin I think I posted this video somewhere in the ALR section before. ALR might as well use all the jewtube money she gathered from the last couple of videos to pay for a funeral service.
But knowing her she'd probably rather waste it all on cheesecake factory and be fine with getting buried the same way we bury horses and cattle in the good ol' countryside
 
JambledUpWords said:
  • Amber probably doesn’t have a will so things may be split up between Eric, Rickie, Becky, and Amber’s family that wants to mooch
Click to expand...
I foresee no money left after the humongous bills awaiting her for such diagnosis, for someone without any medical insurance. Karma is an utter bitch. All these years of that fat cunt flexing and being a general asshole with her audience and she will die with very little. Very fitting of our Kentucky queen! Right now I am proud to be a dispectful POS.
 
a834604 said:
The funeral will be expensive. Even moving her corpse to the hospital and funeral home would cost quite a bit as she will require special equipment and crew. An extra large casket/coffin costs extra. She would probably have to be cremated in a furnace designed for large animals, like horses and so on. Hauling her quarter ton body around alone will be really expensive. It's cheaper to get weight loss surgery and therapy and then die as a normal sized person.
Click to expand...

There is funeral home literally across the street from their house - That is where the carpark she took Twinkie for a walk the other day
 
Cremation is the easiest thing. Better not have Becky or any other deathfats around, the smell of roasting fat might trigger an olfactory foodgasm.
 
Re: poll. Voted for body donated to science, a girl can dream. If they livestreamed her autopsy I'd be in the front line.
 
Slimy Time said:
Cremation is the easiest thing. Better not have Becky or any other deathfats around, the smell of roasting fat might trigger an olfactory foodgasm.
Click to expand...

Ha. I remember reading an anecdote from a mortician's assistant somewhere, where they were cremating a really obese person, too big for the equipment. Chunks of fat were, like, falling off, threatening to start grease fires. The assistant had to be fetched and on his way running to the crematorium, and before knowing what was going on, he thought the air spelled strangely appetizing and familiar. He then realized it smelled just like fresh McDonald's french fries, and never ate at McDo again. :|
 
The Lychee Queen said:
Ha. I remember reading an anecdote from a mortician's assistant somewhere, where they were cremating a really obese person, too big for the equipment. Chunks of fat were, like, falling off, threatening to start grease fires. The assistant had to be fetched and on his way running to the crematorium, and before knowing what was going on, he thought the air spelled strangely appetizing and familiar. He then realized it smelled just like fresh McDonald's french fries, and never ate at McDo again. :|
Click to expand...
YFW this is how ALR will finally be the "inspiration" she's always wanted to be. Putting off some poor sod working a crematorium in KY from literal dogshit fast food.
:story:
 
I WANT her to donate her body to science. It would be the most useful thing she has ever done.

But usefulness is not in her character. She wastes, wastes and wastes some more, a pure glutton and cancer in this planet.

My vote will be that they try to put her 6 feet under like the dainty crotchrot princess she is.
 
Considering the shape that poor house is probably in after years of Amberlynn living in it, even the landlord would probably prefer to just burn it down with her corpse inside.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom