What should you do when a cop pulls you over?

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Ratboy Genius

Ratboy Genius

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kiwifarms.net
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Dec 22, 2021
As someone who hasn't been pulled over by a cop ever in my life because I'm the best driver on earth, I need well-intentioned advice only!! I have no point of reference so I'm counting on you guys! How do I get out of a ticket?
I fear it's inevitable because I drive fast as hell
Genius_Highway.webp
 
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Be up front and honest with him. Like if you have a gun on you, make sure to show him by pointing it at him. It also helps if you have your finger on the trigger to show that the safety is on.
 
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Very quicky lean into the passengers seat and go to the glovebox to get your documents.

If the cop yells “LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS” ignore them, they just want you to not get your documents.

Then, put your hands in your pockets and get your wallet, again, ignore the cop telling you to put your hands on the wheel, it’s entrapment.
 
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You see, when the cop pulls you over, he's just trying to set up a drag race. If you win, then you get his gun and pepper spray! If you lose, though -- ooooooh boy, you don't wanna even THINK about that, especially if you're doing this challenge in the South! In the rare case of a tie, you just exchange numbers and agree to go out bowling sometime.
 
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Quickly swallow all the fentanyl pills you have and when the police throw you on the ground for resisting arrest, scream, "I CAINT BREAF!"
 
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Display your worldly knowledge! Cops LOVE to engage in cross-cultural dialogue! Insert as many cultural norms of your ancestors' ethnicity as possible! From speaking exclusively German to playing the bagpipes in the car, reinforce to your officer that they are in a land of immigrants, and that it is important to celebrate each individual's ancestry and ethnicity!
 
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PonderosaPete said:
Be up front and honest with him. Like if you have a gun on you, make sure to show him by pointing it at him. It also helps if you have your finger on the trigger to show that the safety is on.
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Do you wanna get him killed? That's really irresponsible advice, even if it's a joke. Don't do that.

What he should really do is shoot right past the officer's head to prove he's no threat, showing he could've killed him if he wanted to but chose not to.
 
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