What Shitty Power Would You Want?

[Bored & Confused]

By shitty, I mean some odd ability so insignificant that it could never benefit the world, & barely benefits you. Like being able to manifest a perfectly toasted slice of bread on any surface within your line of sight every three hours. Or having the remarkable ability to never clog a toilet (so long as the waste matter stays below the rim). Being able to get the questions right to every answer on Jeopardy with lightning proficiency, but only while watching at home. You probably get the idea. What would you want?

I think I'd like to be able to teleport through the crack of one couch and out the crack another, but I can only do this with couches I've sat on before.

 

[JethroTullamore]

I wanna be able to make people cum on command, just like in Orgazmo.

 

[Otis Mallebrok]

I want the power to turn pakistanis into swine. Essentially I would have to do nothing.

 

[Gog & Magog]

To become the greatest rhetorician who ever lived while within the confines of any shower.

 

[Eternal Struggler]

I want the power to temporarily summon random polititians. No real reason, just think its funny to displace them during work hours; they probably weren't going to do anything important anyway.

 

[Alligator Alcatraz]

I want the power to make pillows always fluffy. Even my "never flats" are becoming flat.

 

[Shamefur Dispray]

The power to sneed!

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

Having the colour of something change whenever I sneeze on it. Could potentially be a troubling ability though, like when sneezing on traffic lights or other things that are colour coded but critical.. Imagine the movie esque defusing of a bomb and sneezing on the wires

 

[Cool Dog Returns]

Honk the tits of any chick I want and nobody around cares, not even the chick getting her tits honked