What is your earliest memory?

[Bargain Bin Laden]

My earliest memory is playing with my foreskin during nap time at daycare.

 

[Fentanyl Floyd]

My earliest memory is back in daycare some sped kid kept playing with his foreskin while I was trying to take a nap

 

[AgendaPoster]

My earliest memory is back in daycare some kid hallucinating they still had a foreskin even though the rabbi ruthlessly excised it the day before

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

My earliest memory back in daycare was walking behind the school only to find the rabbi, who earlier had circumcised this one kid, in the dumpster gnawing on the foreskin like a rabid dog and frothing at the mouth.

 

[AnnLurker]

I touched a boob 5 times bigger than my head, too bad I was like 5 months old and it was my moms, haha

 

[Cats]

being grown in the Lab

 

[Xenomorph]

being molested

 

[Day Drinking]

Bro, I don't even remember what happened today.

 

[Blouie]

I remember eating a screw or something off the floor when I was like a year old.

 

[Matt Damon]

I remember playing inside some kind of pantry closet with this specific Monster In My Pocket toy while my mom cooked dinner. I would've been three or four.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Taking a shit. I was probably three.

 

[Moths]

Waking up and going into the living room and thinking about how the glass door was the biggest window id ever seen

 

[JethroTullamore]

I remember wondering why my penis got all big and hard when I had to pee and trying to figure out how to make it go soft again.
I’m still trying to figure this out.

All joking aside, I actually have quite a few random memories from around the age of 8-11, I can date them by the house I’m remembering them in, but the absolute earliest memory I think I have would be around the age of three, playing drums on pots and pans in the kitchen.
Most of the other things I remember involve puberty and discovering the joys of what my penis can do, can’t imagine why that’d stick with me.

 

[mister meaner]

I remember wondering why my penis got all big and hard when I had to pee and trying to figure out how to make it go soft again.
I’m still trying to figure this out.

All joking aside, I actually have quite a few random memories from around the age of 8-11, I can date them by the house I’m remembering them in, but the absolute earliest memory I think I have would be around the age of three, playing drums on pots and pans in the kitchen.
Most of the other things I remember involve puberty and discovering the joys of what my penis can do, can’t imagine why that’d stick with me.

Glad to hear you weren’t afraid to use your penis if necessary

 

[KingCoomer]

Jerking off

 

[Molester Stallone]

Running into a wall and splitting my head open when I was three. Still have the scar decades later as a permanent reminder to not be such a spazz.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Playing in the backyard when I was 3. Sat down in the grass and a bee stung me in my asscheek

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

I was sat in the hallway with our dog licking my face

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I was a baby, and being carried in a park. Had to be under a year. I generally have a shit memory so I'm surprised I remember that pretty clearly.