Culture What Is the Hanky Code? - What's the color for missionary with the lights off?

From July 2 2020.
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While "hanky code" can go by many names (including handkerchief code, bandana code, or flagging), the term refers to a system of signaling your interest in certain sexual interests and fetishes by wearing or tucking a bandana of a certain color into your left or right pocket, and is commonly used by the gay male community and the BDSM community, according to Christene Lozano, certified sex addiction therapist and LMFT at Meraki Counseling.

"It originated during a time when open discussions about sexuality (especially between two men) were illegal, as was being gay," explains explains Kryss Shane, leading LGBTQ+ expert. The term itself came from a writer from The Village Voice, who wrote about the system in early 1971, adds Shane.
As for the use of hanky code in the BDSM community, it was after the gay community had popularized the code that it became popular among BDSM practitioners, explains Lozano. Hanky code "was found by many to be an easier way to nonverbally communicate one's sexual interests and kinks, especially in bars." Lozano adds.
Hanky code became popular in the BDSM community as the hanky code became better known and was found by many to be an easier way to nonverbally communicate one's sexual interests and kinks, especially in bars.
Different colors have different meanings, as does the side of your pants you wear the bandana or scarf on. Wearing it on your left would indicate a more active role, while wearing it on the right would indicate your preference for a more passive or receptive role, explains Shane.

What does handkerchief code mean?​

Also commonly called "hanky code," it refers to "a color-coded system for gay men to show their sexual actions and interests to other gay men in a discreet way that those outside the community do not typically recognize," says Shane.

What do the different colors of hanky code mean?​

Each color has a different meaning, with some of the popular colors in the 60+ color list including: black for heavy S&M; dark blue for anal sex; light blue for oral sex; grey for bondage; red for fisting; and yellow for watersports or peeing, explains Lozano.
For more on hanky code, The Saint Foundation, an LQBTQ non-profit that works to preserve important LGBTQ memorabilia and history, has a great, in-depth explainer here.

Can a cishet woman use hanky code if not for BDSM purposes?​

Because of the hanky codes's origin within the gay male community as a discreet signaling system, a cis, hetero woman using hanky code for reasons other than BDSM is not appropriate and is considered cultural appropriation. "While there is a lot of room in the LGBTQ+ community for cishet women (who are not signaling for BDSM), this is not a place for that," Shane explains.
Even if your intentions are good, participating in hanky code as a cishet woman not looking for BDSM, is problematic and not okay. "This is not a fashion trend or a signal that you are affirming LGBTQ+ love or that you are sex positive," explains Shane, adding, "[hanky code] is a language for a people who were (and some still are) unable to speak due to society's unacceptance."
If you would like to show your support for gay rights, there are many ways of doing so without appropriating hanky code. Look into LGBTQ+ owned companies, brands, or consider donating your time and money to one of the many equality-based organizations instead, suggests Shane.
You're free to participate in the sexual acts and fetishes named by hanky code on your own as a BDSM practitioner (or not — as Lozano points out, some colors indicated in hanky code aren't necessarily considered BDSM-type activities-only, such as rim jobs or toe-sucking.), but participating in the flagging system itself, is disrespectful given its history.

 

[Syaoran Li]

Most gays these days don't use the hanky code. It's almost entirely a small subsect within the BDSM crew and even then, it's a mix of straights, gays, and bisexuals who skew older (think Boomers or Generation X)

Really, the hanky code was the thing that only really made sense back in the 1970's and early 1980's when homosexuality was legal but still taboo and the wider Sexual Revolution was in full swing. Everyone was fucking like crazy back in the 70's and if you were wanting to hook up with someone at a bar or something, that was a discreet and easy way to do so.

Now there's the internet and who needs to waste money on brightly colored bandanas when you could just open up a profile on Grindr or some kink site.

 

[Big Nasty]

Protip: Don't search for "Brown Hanky Man"

 

[Unpaid Emotional Labourer]

What use is there for hanky codes when gay guys walk around on the streets in front of little kids dressed in their leather puppy play gear complete with buttplug tail? The last thing the GBTQ wants is to not be seen.

 

[Coolio55]

Remember reading this shit online when I was 12 and LOL, gays did not hide their paedo tendencies whenever it was made.

Gay Hanky Codes

Also strange that the Union Jack is considered the white power flag dujour considering this list is most likely american.

 

[Least Concern]

Remember reading this shit online when I was 12 and LOL, gays did not hide their paedo tendencies whenever it was made.
View attachment 1783629

Gay Hanky Codes

Also strange that the Union Jack is considered the white power flag dujour considering this list is most likely american.

This is ridiculous. Did people actually memorize all this, or did they have to carry around a cheat sheet? Were there any embarrassing moments where someone approached a guy thinking he had a yellow hanky but it was actually gold or apricot? Most of these were just made up, gotta be.

 

[VIVIIXI]

This is ridiculous. Did people actually memorize all this, or did they have to carry around a cheat sheet? Were there any embarrassing moments where someone approached a guy thinking he had a yellow hanky but it was actually gold or apricot? Most of these were just made up, gotta be.

Not necessarily, it's just basic memetics.

Say you have some dude who is into "watersports". He goes down the list sees that it's yellow, buys a yellow handkerchief and looks for other people wearing yellow handkerchiefs. He doesn't care what the other shit means, all he knows is what yellow means so that's all he has to memorize or look for. If he has more kinks he just has to memorize those specific kinks.
If you've got someone who is in/open to 20 different things (and feels like walking around looking like a fucking parade float), he can essentially signal to anyone else who has memorized any single one of those things. It's like casting multiple lines while fishing and putting different bait on each line to appeal to the different fish that might be swimming in the lake.

(Edit: The embarassing moments due to color blindness (and/or the sheer closeness of some of those colors) probably made for decent watercooler stories on Monday.)

 

[JohnDoe]

Also strange that the Union Jack is considered the white power flag dujour considering this list is most likely american.

Back when the code was developed most of the white power movements were closely linked with skinhead culture, which had a definite British flavor and origin.

 

[Safir]

What use is there for hanky codes when gay guys walk around on the streets in front of little kids dressed in their leather puppy play gear complete with buttplug tail? The last thing the GBTQ wants is to not be seen.

You're asking the wrong question. What use is there for an article on hanky codes?

And the answer is that if before it was a secret way for deviants to find each other without disturbing the general public, these days degeneracy is broadcast and they want you to know. They want to live rent-free in your head so you recall it all the time when you get dressed ("heaven forbid I dress like a piss-drinker!") and suspect others of being degenerates. Maybe you'll even warn them ("Hey Jane, just so thay you know, you're dressed like a piss-drinker") and so the mindvirus spreads.

It's kind of what 4chin did to the ok sign.

 

[Haramburger]

Can a cishet woman use hanky code if not for BDSM purposes?

Because of the hanky codes's origin within the gay male community as a discreet signaling system, a cis, hetero woman using hanky code for reasons other than BDSM is not appropriate and is considered cultural appropriation.

Even if your intentions are good, participating in hanky code as a cishet woman not looking for BDSM, is problematic and not okay.

Faggots telling straight women what they can and cannot wear, thank you for this laugh today. This is a divine joke only a deity could write Too many commas in the wrong places is like sprinkles on top

 

[Syaoran Li]

You're asking the wrong question. What use is there for an article on hanky codes?

And the answer is that if before it was a secret way for deviants to find each other without disturbing the general public, these days degeneracy is broadcast and they want you to know. They want to live rent-free in your head so you recall it all the time when you get dressed ("heaven forbid I dress like a piss-drinker!") and suspect others of being degenerates. Maybe you'll even warn them ("Hey Jane, just so thay you know, you're dressed like a piss-drinker") and so the mindvirus spreads.

It's kind of what 4chin did to the ok sign.

The hanky code is a defunct relic of an earlier time that nobody actually cares about anymore, not even deviants, let alone normal gay men.

As for why there's an article on it, Occam's Razor would indicate it's more likely due the fact these clickbait mills are desperate for sensationalist material for their articles. It's sensationalist filler. There's not much more to it than that.

 

[Dr. Sexbot]

After a few decades of being gay, I can safely say I have never, ever seen a colored hankey prominently displayed in someone's pocket. Not in a photo, not in a bar or club, and not in public. I'm pretty certain this is a 70s thing that became the stuff of legend. I'll occasionally hear a reference to the "hankey code" thing, but never in actual use. I wonder if @Mesh Gear Fox can confirm or deny.

Since it's Current Year, I'm surprised this hasn't been co-opted by trannies too. "Hankey codes were invented by a TWOC!"

 

[Syaoran Li]

After a few decades of being gay, I can safely say I have never, ever seen a colored hankey prominently displayed in someone's pocket. Not in a photo, not in a bar or club, and not in public. I'm pretty certain this is a 70s thing that became the stuff of legend. I'll occasionally hear a reference to the "hankey code" thing, but never in actual use. I wonder if @Mesh Gear Fox can confirm or deny.

Since it's Current Year, I'm surprised this hasn't been co-opted by trannies too. "Hankey codes were invented by a TWOC!"

Pretty much every older gay guy I've heard talk about it confirms this was a 70's/early 80's thing and it was only a thing in the very large cities to boot. Outside of a few urban kink subcultures, it was overblown and overhyped.

A lot of the practices that were unique to the 1970's or at their peak became mythologized in retrospect but they often tended to be practices that only made sense in that specific time and place.

Pretty much the only people who would use the hanky code anymore would be older BDSM/kinksters of all sexual orientations who live in specific cities like San Francisco or NYC and even then, it's probably due to some warped nostalgia more than anything else. Hell, I don't even think Robert Paul Champagne bothers with the hanky code anymore.

 

[idosometimes]

"cultural appropriation"
"disrepectful"

Huh? The modern faget would have no idea what any of it even meant. How can you "appropriate" an aspect of culture that no longer exists?

[faget writes faget stuff]

The "hanky code", those fag wrist bands, and whatever else are just a way of knowing that someone is a faget and wants sex. The "wants sex" part is superfluous as all fagets just want sex all the time everywhere. It made life easier than trying to guess who was the gay.

As you note, degenerates now go on "dating apps" to find anonymous sex partners to get diseases from.

 

[Mrs Paul]

I recently read of the "Boot laces" code, where what color laces you wearing with your Docs determines certain things. That sounds like bullshit too.

 

[Dr. Sexbot]

I recently read of the "Boot laces" code, where what color laces you wearing with your Docs determines certain things. That sounds like bullshit too.

Yellow: anti-racist, and into water sports.

 

[Haramburger]

I recently read of the "Boot laces" code, where what color laces you wearing with your Docs determines certain things. That sounds like bullshit too.

LMAO

How is this intentionally signalling anti-racism? The yellow and brown laces are what some boots just come with.

Remember reading this shit online when I was 12 and LOL, gays did not hide their paedo tendencies whenever it was made.
View attachment 1783629

Gay Hanky Codes

Also strange that the Union Jack is considered the white power flag dujour considering this list is most likely american.

I had to remind myself if Kewpie was a real brand or not:

Imagine a pedo unironically stuffing one of these in your back pocket to signal to teens or other pedos that you're down to fuck kids. Can't be real

 

[LMFAOForgotPw]

I recently read of the "Boot laces" code, where what color laces you wearing with your Docs determines certain things. That sounds like bullshit too.

kinda The same as the hanky code shit ive heard it from older people way back in the early 80s punk shit, but even then just seems over blown or just for very certain areas. the people I’ve heard that shit from seemed like pretty shitty/unreliable people so who knows

 

[Syaoran Li]

"cultural appropriation"
"disrepectful"

Huh? The modern faget would have no idea what any of it even meant. How can you "appropriate" an aspect of culture that no longer exists?

The "hanky code", those fag wrist bands, and whatever else are just a way of knowing that someone is a faget and wants sex. The "wants sex" part is superfluous as all fagets just want sex all the time everywhere. It made life easier than trying to guess who was the gay.

As you note, degenerates now go on "dating apps" to find anonymous sex partners to get diseases from.

Imagine being such a retarded hick that you can't even spell the word "faggot" right.

Next time, if you want to sperg about "muh degeneracy" like a wannabe redneck theocrat, just post this clip instead and save everyone the time.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

I recently read of the "Boot laces" code, where what color laces you wearing with your Docs determines certain things. That sounds like bullshit too.

That was absolutely a thing and old european antifa would use it as a reason to pick fights with ordinary teens. Then, like now, they were violent assholes. Using shoelaces to signal that you're a neo-nazi seemed superfluous on actual neo-nazis, with the shaved head, bomber jacket and tight jeans. I swear the reason skinheads don't kick above the knee is because their jeans are too tight.