Containment What If?

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He'd probably say something "what if those dang dirty trolls just left me alone?" without understanding why what he does turns him into a trolling magnet.
 
What if all da twolls all got AIDS in their ducks from da HOH-MOH Sex and died? an den they got cancer in der AIDS and died again?
Discuss.
 
I think this was already asked before (inb4 CatParty confirms it).
 
The aliens would attempt an autopsy of the brain.

They would find a mass of gellified fat, so they quickly dump Chris out the airlock.

Then some space pirates kill Chris :alog:
 
They would probe his ass and then all the years of built of shit would come flying out and all the fresh shit that couldn't get out would spray all over the place
 
his hair homeade? And not to any natural hair color, I'm talking about an unsightly(er) hair color, like purple, blue or pure yellow?

First off, It wouldn't be on national television, it would have to be local.

Second, I could see it being one of those crappy public-access shows where Chris would be prank called with JUUULAAAAYS; a la

 
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