Containment What If?

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"I'll be in yer dreams, I love you"
If I heard a stranger say that on the phone I might cry.
 
Probably "DYKES DYKES CHINA" or "I'M NOT A PEDOFORK, YOU DORKS." That's what we'd all say over and over again before the JULAY tape.
 
It would probably make him like Pokaymon even more than he already does, since they all shout only one word too. Maybe he'd think of himself as "a Pokaymon" and fashion a crude ball to hide inside.
 
He'd be just like Timmy from South Park and probably have a ton of friends.
 
If Chris could only communicate by shouting julay, this would be an example of how his videos could be:
Chris: JULAY JULAY JULAY JULAY!!!
*Translation: MY NAME IS NOT IAN BRANDON SOMETHING!!!*
 
There would be a different sextape later. He'd film himself fucking officer Kimmi, and trolls in this alternate universe would call at all hours of the night yelling "KIIIMMMMAAAAYYYY!!!"
 
What if you could leave me alone and give me some peace of my life?

"Hey, Chris! You seem lonely on Facebook. We're here to give you some company, man!" :ween:
 
And here is your obligatory "shit himself and do nothing" comment.
 
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