Containment What If?

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What if Chris had an offspring, but a son rather than God promised Crystal?
 
What if Chris had to make a choice between saving Barb or saving his PS3 when their house was on fire?
 
The scene would end up in the cutting room floor because test viewers would be disturbed by Chris' presence.

What if Chris stole the Declaration of Independence and wrote it as his Attraction Sign?
If it's the Declaration of Independence then it'll definitely attract some women ... Police Women.
What if Chris stole from every single one of his enemies houses?
 
If it's the Declaration of Independence then it'll definitely attract some women ... Police Women.
What if Chris stole from every single one of his enemies houses?
  1. We'd all be doing inventory on all our crap seeing how he considers everyone here to be his enemies.
  2. He'd have to travel pretty far to get most of it.
  3. His pile of crap would STILL be significantly smaller than Barb's crap.
What if Chris was the protag of a Harem Ecchi?
 
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