What if Santa was black?

[GratsTheat783]

It's an early Christmas morning, when you hear it. Jingling. You freeze for a second, cocking your head in amazement. Could it be? Santa? You rush down the living room, hiding behind the couch as you watch the unlit fireplace. Footsteps drag across the roof and suddenly come to a stop. Something is coming down the chimney. A wave of ash is dashed across the carpet, as the large figure suddenly drops in. Except, there's something you never expected. As he looks up, not noticing you, you notice his skin. It's black. What now?

 

[OrionBalls]

Who cares? Santa is a jolly elf who brings me presents.

 

[Grayson Death Carlyle]

I would replace the milk and cookies with Hennessy, KFC, and cornstarch for the fat sheboons who presumably pull his sleigh.
Rather than being powered by the wishes of children across the globe, his sleigh is powered by EBT and welfare.

 

[The News Crews]

He would steal presents instead of gifting them

 

[Google.com]

"Sheeeeettt nigga stole my Christmas tree holder and left that shit on cinder blocks. We bout to kill some niggas over this."

 

[Soup Sammiches]

It' would be a whole new era of "nigga stole my bike".

 

[Nicholas Gur]

A john giving bags of gold to hookers does sound a lot more palatable with a netflix adaption.

 

[Rozzy]

https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/239719

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

 

[TheNazgulKing]

Black Santa Claus: he says "Ho Ho Ho" as he goes up the chimney with your stereo and your gaming consoles.

 

[ForgedBlades]

He'd get pulled over for expired tags on his sleigh and somehow escalate it into charges of felony eluding/resisting and battery on a peace officer.

 

[Positron]

He'd just break the window to get in your home.

 

[AnneRipper1010]

For one I'd call him blanta

 

[Meat Target]

Black Santa Claus: he says "Ho Ho Ho" as he goes up the chimney with your stereo and your gaming consoles.

And yo' girl.

 

[vinsentia]

He'd give kids gold chains, EBT cards and cough syrup.

 

[MadStan]

White things that go down chimneys usually do end up looking blackish. Don't think about it too much. No. No. Stop right now.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

He’d have a sleigh full of ho ho hoes.