What does one do with a harem?

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Like, yeah, I get having sex, but you've gotta stop once in a while to shitpost on the Kiwifarms, right? So what do you do with a harem when you're not having sex with them?

 

[Joe Swanson]

Secks

 

[Retink]

Haram things

 

[Grub]

They they feed you grapes and wine from golden cups and use giant feathers or palm fronds to fan you.

 

[Red Hood]

 

[Chocolate Wombat]

Play autistic multiplayer games with your women.

 

[Ishtar]

Autist history nerd pedantry, but ackshually harems were more status symbols for kings and sultans than nonstop sex parties honestly.

More often than not, the king or sultan or emperor would have his favorites who actually spent time in his bedchambers, and the rest just lounged and schemed and bitched, often murdering and mutilating each other (or their children) for attention, power, and favor.

That isn't to say they didn't get around with them, because obviously they did. It's just that that wasn't always going on.

 

[33l]

fuck bitches with my monster cock

 

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

Why would you want to be around women when you're not having sex with them?

 

[I am vomit]

make a sandwich

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

make a sandwich

Depending on your harem's size, that's a lot of sandwiches...

 

[King Fructose]

Seck: A hypothetical singular form of the noun secks. A round of sexual intercourse is composed of infinitely many secks, much like the area under a curve in integral calculus is composed of infinitely many line segments. The use of "seck" is hypothetical because it is impossible to give or receive only one seck.

 

[Shig O'nella]

Use your fanatically loyal harem as an army to take over a small country.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Like, yeah, I get having sex

That's where you're wrong, pal. You won't be able to so much as hug a member of your harem without other members and causality itself inventing new ways to cockblock you.

 

[Clint Torez]

Do your taxes.

 

[Picnic_Boy]

Seduce them into playing hoary board games with me, the kind no one else will play. The kind where you're an Austrian rye baron exchanging wooden cubes among your fellow players.

 

[Pukebucket]

Give them all funny hats.

 

[Niggaplease]

well you could leave them to their own devices, but be aware theres going to be alot of schemes.

 

[Caddchef]

Wear them like gloves and socks when the nights get cold.

 

[draggs]

Things you do with a harem

-complain about how much providing for all these women costs you
-complain about them doing women things like being catty bitches to each other all the time and plotting with the eunuchs to overthrow you
-complain about them getting fat because they just sit around all day doing nothing waiting for you to fuck them