What did Null do to you? - Thread for Null-victims

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He made me dress like Asuka and get into a wrestling ring so his friend could hump on me and grope me.
 
Null helped me with my homework, corrected my mistakes and then drove me to school in his really awesome diesel stepside truck.
 
He threatened to 9/11 my dick, and I quote: "Just like I did to that fat faggot Lucas Roberts."
 
He taught me how toxic Twitter and Facebook are, and cured my social media addiction.
 
Null snuck underneath my house and camped out there for at least a week, and left empty baked bean cans everywhere. I had no idea he was there until the vast reserves of sulfurous baked bean gas emitted by his backside built up and seeped into my house proper. I've since been forcefully evacuated by the authorities, who say they're going to eliminate the environmental threat caused by the gas by demolishing my house in a controlled explosion. I've tried to approach Null with the idea of some form of compensation for the loss of my house, and with it, my extensive collection of identical Princess Diana Funkopops, but all he said was, "lol, get rekt", and then ran away very quickly.
 
He never gave me the neck sleeve he promised and even worse, he didn't invite me to his birthday party.
 
I ordered a 'za yesterday from my usual place and wouldn't you know it, Null was the one delivering the 'za. He winked as he handed it to me and told me he left a "special surprise". I thought he was referring to how he took me $20 and didn't give me any change but when I opened the 'za box I was horrified. My pristine Hawaiian 'za was covered in a suspicious cream liquid. The nigger had slathered hollandaise sauce all over my 'za! My disappointment was immeasurable and my day was ruined.
 
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