What cult should I join?

[Lame Entropy]

I need purpose in my life. I'm open to any suggestions as long as things don't end with a weirdo fucking me.

 

[args]

I recently learned about a cult called "bird plantages" or something like that. You can find it here.
Be aware that there are literal n*zis in the cult as well

 

[Lame Entropy]

Why not the Peoples Temple? They seem like pretty nice people. I heard the Kool-Aid they make in Jonestown is so good that you'll collapse on the floor.

I'm too late for that ride. I missed out on Heaven's Gate too.

Well... a cult isn't for you then, if a weirdo owning your boipussy is a dealbreaker

Life corners me into being fucked yet again.

Thank you for all of your suggestions but none of these are doing it for me. I will be the change I want to see in the world and start my own cult. Rule number one will be no fucking the recruits. I need to iron out the details of my cult but thankfully there's a wikihow available to guide me: https://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Cult

 

[Synthetic Smug]

The Illuminati is such a secretive and cultlike organization you might already be in it and not know.

 

[Gensou Hadou]

Branch Covidians. It's all the rage these days!

That, or the robot suicide cult in Nier Automata. It should be noted that not everyone in the cult is willing to die and become as gods.

 

[Not Really Here]

Join 'I fucking love science', you don't even have to know what science is.

 

[The Cunting Death]

Hare Krishna

 

[KeepHopeAlive]

Falun Gong has been pushing heavily in my area recently. You could always join them and fight the CCP??

 

[Pee Cola]

Tesla. It's just as expensive as Scientology, but at least you get use of a car.

If you're too poor to join the Tesla cult, try the Apple cult instead.

 

[stares at error messages]

I joined MIA. It's going really good. They're working on getting a website.

 

[shadyreapers_]

Ku Klux Klan

 

[Ventrue]

Form a cult centered around Wiccan beliefs. Wear black, talk to the dead, predict the future and have the call to prayer be Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode.

 

[Moths]

For you OP id recommend something with human sacrifice

 

[Feast of Fools]

Mormonism and the Jehovah's Witnesses are probably the least dangerous cults to partake in. And this is factoring in how the latter used to be a doomsday cult.

 

[MadStan]

Join an MLM.