Weird/Terrible Books - Post the most obscure, odd, and terrible written works you've even seen

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I realize that it's an easy win to pull from the barrel of drek that is self-publishing, but I did actually see this one in person, I'm not just trawling the web for funnies:
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I didn't read all of it, I just recall paging through and finding schizo shit that boiled down to the author believing literally any and all mind-altering substances cause communion with demons.
 
crowabunga said:
I realize that it's an easy win to pull from the barrel of drek that is self-publishing, but I did actually see this one in person, I'm not just trawling the web for funnies:
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I didn't read all of it, I just recall paging through and finding schizo shit that boiled down to the author believing literally any and all mind-altering substances cause communion with demons.
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Very convincing, I'd like to order one million copies.
 
I recently stumbled upon a veritable goldmine of trash written by one J.C. SpringBourne/JesperSB/Jesper Skjærbæk: 18 books and 4 video games of absolute steaming shite. To give you a hint about the quality, this guy at some point dedicated himself to write one book a month for six months - one of those 6 books he wrote is 694 pages long. Such titles include: A Man and his Battle Unicorn : And other Short stories, Spellbinder 1: Let Me Be Your Fantasy and The First Human Mage (Ancient Alliance #1).

Here's just some of the high effort covers you can expect to see when perusing his works:
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According to some of the comments left on his books, the guy may have engaged in some lowcow antics to do with hypnotism & pickup artistry, but I've not delved too deeply into it.
 
Once, I found a novel called Wolf Tracks (i can't find an author name anywhere) that was set in Toronto. It was so bad i gave up partway through, it had a classic wolfman werewolf but man, it did nothing with it.

Jean M. Auel's sex-among-cavemen books are food for a laugh. Part 1 is the most competent of the lot, part 2 has would have been better if Jondalar's brother, who actually hated the clan, had met Ayla. Jondalar freaks out despite having some knowledge that they are, in fact, people. Part 3 is the perfect Aryan man fighting with the perfect black man for Ayla's love. I wish i was kidding. Part 4 is a road trip, i do like the weird amazon women though. Part 5 was so dry I never finished it and part 6 has the same, multi-paragraph long prayer over and over to fill space. It's bad, and features Jondalar having an affair, despite his anger about Ayla sleeping with a nigger prior. Funny shit.

The Odyssey series (2001, 2010, ect) is pretty rough. Part 1 is cool, part 2 is cool, 3 and 4 recycle content from 2 like mad and 4 has Jurassic Park style raptors on the moon.
 
I want to tell you all about this book I read in the mid 90s. My mother had started dating a man claiming to be a born-again Christian. As single mothers often do, she decided he should try to pull her kids into his bullshit.

He thought it a good idea to give me a book that has to be the wildest thing I've ever read. It'd be one thing if this was some fan fiction I read online in the late 2000s or if the book was marketed as fiction. Nope, it was sold at a small Christian bookstore in my city and was marketed as "testimony."

Anyway, I couldn't hope to remember the title or even most of the details but I do recall enough. The book was written by a woman who, and I wish I was making this up, claimed that as a person born with a cleft palate who was bullied often during childhood for that she was uniquely vulnerable to demonic shenanigans. What shenanigans you might ask? Well, for starters she claimed that not only was Satan a real being, she was in a sexual relationship with him.

She also claimed that these trysts took place on a ranch that was guarded by well armed, well trained men from what sounded like some sort of PMC. And she described her and Satan having essentially a lover's quarrel after he revealed to her he regularly fucks other women.

Another detail I remember was how one night as she just so happened to be driving along a dark country road with absolutely nobody else around for miles, a demon took the form of a werewolf and magically stopped her car from working so it could threaten her for daring to expose the existence of Satan and demons.

Oh yeah, she claimed that vampires and werewolves really exist. They're not humans afflicted with a curse, but rather demons from Hell that take these forms to terrorize and torment people for a laugh, basically.

Fuck do I wish I could track down a copy of this book now.
 
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Girl Meets Goy: A Jewish RomCom Series​

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"A beautifully written lighthearted story! I loved the complex quirky characters and the twisty turny story!" ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Leah Rosenberg moved to New York City to pursue her journalism career and hopefully meet a nice Jewish boy.

But her plans are derailed when Gabe saves her on the Subway platform. Handsome, romantic, intelligent, and ambitious, he’s perfect in every way—except for one.

When her Jewish ex-boyfriend reappears, Leah faces a dilemma: Should she date the guy who gives her butterflies, even if he goes against everything she’s ever known? Or should she play it safe and rekindle her past relationship?

Join Leah as she explores the happy hours, high rises, and holidays of Manhattan while she figures out if marrying Jewish is more important than following her heart.

Readers LOVE Girl Meets Goy:

"Fun and educational"
"Realistic, accurate, and fun!"
"A perfect rom com!"
"An important contemporary topic!"
 
I once read a romance novel where the heroine gets bitten by a rabid dog, as she's so loving/caring she has to stop and help the poor thing, gets healed by a witch and then has no side effects a slight shiver once and a while.

I don't remember the name but it had a golden haired, perfect Aryan lord competing with the lord of Hawkherst Manor, who was depressed and spooky but the book makes it super clear who she's gonna pick. I think the author posed for her picture on the back in the dress the chick on the front is wearing too. It was... a read.
 
Hermaphroditic Bookworm said:
Was it "He Came to Set the Captives Free" by Rebecca Brown, MD? I read this a long long time ago and I don't recall all the details you mentioned but if it's not that exact book, it's probably something else she wrote.

She died a few years ago but her story is wild.
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Possibly. I browsed the link you provided but my memory isn't clear enough that anything jumped out to confirm this.

The religious grift is something else.
 
Dean Pentel said:
Fuck yes! Thank you!

Even with my wildly incorrect synopsis that book was so batshit you still knew what I was talking about.

Goddamn.
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Sadly, I grew up living with people who believed the book was true and I even met people who had "deliverance ministries" that theologically aligned with the batshittery of that book.
 
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