Incoming extremely gay microquoted reply.
Any exercise at all along with a sensible diet will do that. I don't mean starving yourself or only eating meat, I mean the simple stuff like "maybe don't eat four cakes in one sitting". If you cook your own meals from raw ingredients six days a week, you're doing it right.
Depends what "things" you mean, and what you mean by "lift". You mention some stuff later but I'm not sure it qualifies.
When you strength train, think of the kind of motions/muscle groups you would use to "lift" "things", and do exercises that hit those same beats. There's that video that popped off a while back on YouTube of that rock climber who showed up to a grip strength competition and bodied a shitload of ultra huge jacked megadudes. He'd been training the same kind of motions needed for the competition as a hobby for years.
You don't have to tell us, just think it over. You wanna walk home with the weekly shop? Weigh it one time, and then practice farmers carries. You wanna help your boyfriend move the sofa when you move house? Try squats.
I don't really care how I look
But you made it very clear that you care how others look. I don't want to sit here and recommend you do this or that to reach your goals, ignoring that you put an emphasis on aesthetics, only for you to reach the goals and hate the way you look because of it.
So when I have little one's I can confidently run them around and play with them, without worry of not being able to push their pram or be unable to go on a hike with them
Based.
Playing with kids is basically all cardio. Unless you go crazy with it, the stuff you need for a day out at the park with a kid is not that heavy, even if you're going up a hill with the pram. Train endurance for this. Rowing machine, stationary bicycle, not treadmill 'cause your legs are fucked, swimming, non-stationary real bicycle. You can even do something as simple as putting some water bottles in a backpack and climbing then descending the stairs in your house for a half hour. Put on a podcast or something.
Also, kids tire out quick, relatively speaking. They're not very efficient with their movements. If you go on a hike with them, they'll bound up the hill laughing at silly old mom for being slow, then run back down to you because running downhill is fun, then run back up again. Enjoy shouting after them to not go too far.
I don't want to be hurt when they're so young.
I get this fear. It's not all that bad if you are, though. Kids I grew up with that had a loving cripple for a parent were usually very well adjusted, more so than others. They cared deeply for their parents, and helping out around the house was second nature to them because they knew their mom simply couldn't (but would if she could). If you're gonna be hurt while they're young, that's just how it's going to be. Show them love as best you can in ways that aren't racing them to the park.
I just want to be able to keep up with him and our future kids
And this ties in to the point above - I don't know how well you pick your men, but if my partner had something happen to her (heaven forbid) and wasn't able to physically do as much for our child as she otherwise could, I know that's my place to step up and fill the gaps. We're a team, which means covering each others' backs, among other things.
At the end of the day, we all have a physical limit somewhere. We're all gonna run out of juice, we could all break our spines and be bedridden, we're all gonna die some day. There's no use dooming about it, just play the cards you've been dealt as best you can, and move on towards tomorrow without regrets. (That means exercise while you can).
I'm sorry, again, if I came across poorly. I don't mean to offend
There's no need for apologies, and it's impossible to offend me - look where I am. This is just how I talk.