I get you there, but are you in any position to affect this stuff? Like... doing politics? Do you just show up at the town hall and talk about zoning? Did you get a job there? Or are you trying to determine which politician to support based on how you think the zoning should work?
That said, your zoning decisions seem reasonable. How much of the liquor license stuff is based in dirty politics, by the way? I always felt like there's probably a lot of corruption around those, since they're limited and desirable. As affordable low and middle class housing is a big issue in the area, wouldn't you want to allow 12 stories everywhere? Or are the homeowners worried that'll drop the town's property values?
These ones will be my favorite questions to answer once I get to the answering of questions. Zoning homework is about done, now on to story mode, then questions
Okay storytime. So there's this place called the Hockomock Swamp.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hockomock_Swamp
It's basically, y'know, a giant swamp, that covers parts of about 7-8 towns of area, about 16,000 acres. Biggest wetlands in Massachusetts, and covering Bridgewater, East Bridgewater, West Bridgewater, Dighton, Taunton, Whitman and some other stuff. Yuge.
It's also the center of the "Hockomock Triangle" aka "Bridgewater Triangle":
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridgewater_Triangle
AKA the biggest epicenter of alleged paranormal phenomena in New England.
Hockomock is a word in my uncle Thunderbolt's language that means "weird creatures place". People say they see Bigfoots and ghosts and etc in those misty swamps, like, a lot.
Some say this is just because Hockomock has deep generational poverty from being land you can't farm on, you can't live on, and you can't do anything on. Except get sucked into a swamp.
But others say, y'know, weird stuff. Perhaps the most disconcerting are the tales of giant pterodactyls carrying people off. I try to be rational, but I don't think anybody wants a giant pterodactyl appearing out of nowhere and eating them.
Or I don't know. Some people might be into that I guess.
But so anyway, what some people might not know is that in a lot of towns, getting involved in local politics is like a Scooby Doo mystery. You saw how it took me 17 months to get on the City Committee here in Malden. In some towns, even finding out where the Democrats even MEET is like an 18 step quest. You look online but there's no online presence, so you call the Chair whose number is listed on the state website, but they just got voted out last month so there is a new one, so you talk to a friend in a neighboring town who might know, etc.
This happened in all 3 of the Bridgewater towns. I managed to track down West Bridgewater and Bridgewater Democrats though, after various misty driving around and weird phone calls. I went to Bridgewater Dems and handed out flyers, and Frank made it to West Bridgewater Dems.
But East Bridgewater Democrats eluded me though. They *do* post their meetings online, but don't actually show up to them. Or something. And they meet at this weird creepy town hall that looks like a brick version of the Addams Family house, except constantly surrounded by mist and fog. I think it's like by a river or something, which must make the fog more, because the fog is like, ridiculous around that one town hall.
And unlike some towns, all their meetings are at night.
And unlike all the other towns, when they have their meetings, the town hall is actually open.
Perhaps like a lot of the towns, when you call the chair, you get a weird crackly voice that sounds like the Mothman, and what they say makes very little apparent sense.
But y'know, whatever, right? Life is an adventure. I just show up when the meeting says it is, and I tell Brianna and Frank to come, and they say why not, and they both show up. I get there a little before them and it's closed. All the lights are off. I hear weird rustling in the bushes. all the doors are locked. Nobody is there.
So okay, that's weird. I go back to the car and check my phone to see if the address is right. Brianna and Frank show up.
"I'm sorry," I say. Something is wrong. "This is where the meeting is supposed to be, but it's closed."
Right on the door it says town hall hours, closed at 6pm. Meeting is at 7pm. I check and double check the website and fb invite. I show Frank that's what it says. Brianna sees too.
Suddenly out of the supposedly closed town hall come 4 dudes. The door slams behind them. They are walking quickly to their car.
"Excuse me," I say. Is this where the East Bridgewater Democrats meet?
"No," they say. "It's closed."
"But you were just in there."
"Are you politicians?"
"Yes, Brianna here is running for US Congress"
"Democrat?"
"Yes. Progressive Democrat."
"We're not supposed to talk to Democrats."
They leave. I'm like "WTF is going on here?"
"Oh well" says Frank. "That's just how it goes sometimes I guess." We all go home.
So I call up the Chair and I say "Hey I went to East Bridgewater Democrats, no one was there and it was closed."
"What are you talking about?" she says. "We were there until 9pm."
OooooOOOOOoooooeeeoooo!!
So I tell Brianna this. She says "well call them back, find out when they meet. And go to one, find out if they actually exist first."
So I go to another one, nobody there. No Republicans this time either, nothing. Even more mist. I hear the rustling in the bushes again. It really creeps me out.
Suddenly a giant pterodactyl comes from out of nowhere! Just kidding. But it probably would have happened if I stayed there longer.
But anyway so I kept calling the Chair. She would give me these really evasive answers in this weird crackly voice. My friend ***** and I started planning a Giant Pterodactyl fundraiser in nearby Whitman, and my friend swore up and down she'd been to East Bridgewater Dems a million times and it had nothing to do with Bigfoots or any such thing. In her mind the giant pterodactyls are just a fun gimmick for a fundraiser.
But anyway my friend tells me she talked to a ton of the East Bridgewater dems and that she could confirm indeed, they are meeting at xxx date and time. I went there and got a phone call from Brianna saying "stay home in Malden". So okay, I tried to go back home but ended up getting lost in the swamp for like 3 hours. But Brianna went. There are pictures.
But what was the deal with all the locked doors and crackly voices and the rustling in the bushes? Why did Brianna tell me to turn around at the last minute? Why do East Bridgewater Dems schedule all their meetings AFTER THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED?
BRIANNA WOULD NOT ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS.
Only she and Frank and the East Bridgewater Dems know. And my friend, who thinks I am on crack and there are no giant pterodactyls.
Cultural appropriation, bro. Besides, if I wanted to hear some white boys rip off Leadbelly I'd at least go with the Irish Elvis, not some bunch of nowhere beatniks.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=M2KvVY98BWM
I had no idea it was a Leadbelly song! Dang, he wrote EVERYTHING good!
Hey Warren are you involved with the Boston DSA at all? What do you think about all the hullabaloo that's been going over the last few months with Morency, Arpwel and the M4A?
I am a DSA member. I do not agree with everything they do. For example, their decision this year seems to be to first decide to endorse only state legislators, then only consider 2 state legislators, then not endorse both. I'm like, what? But I have not really kept up on details lately.
I can see you writing all kinds of interesting plot lines from this story base. We will help you write parts of it if you want. It would be an absolute hit, I'm sure.. So, what do you think?
Show me the money. You talk big.
Since you like both WH40k and MLP.
In both worlds place both Brianna and Bernie. What race, cutie mark or what not.
Bernie is probably some kind of Mary Sue character in 40k to me or something? IDK he's not very grimdark. Brianna is obviously a Dark Eldar.
Bernie is probably that old zebra lady that everybody hates at first because they think she might be evil cause she's weird and maybe "violent". But in the end everybody loves her.
Brianna is clearly Rarity. Very snobby but can magically find gems.
You didn’t answer my question. Are you cool with Brianna posting publicly that your friend damaged her Porsche clutch?
Y'all really do care a lot more than I do lol. Yes I'm so mad about a tweet from a few days ago about a car. Lolwhatever, there are more interesting things to be mad about. But yes, Porsches are not for parades.
How does it feel actually being a part of positive change in your community?
It feels fucking fantastic!
keep her kind out of government, and get in people who actually care about what they talk about?
Meh. There are worse than her. Big time. But yes I want kind humble people in government when possible.
You do you! But hey, maybe you can still find time to work with Kiwi Farms Productions and do a Brianna movie? Have you put any thought into this?
I think it's sweet but speaking from experience, I don't think people much realize how much effort that kind of thing would entail. I got a sci fi show to make and some other big plans...
But I do think the idea of a John Waters Brianna movie is hilarious.
I get you there, but are you in any position to affect this stuff?
It seems so? Maybe I just got lucky so far but I've got people so mad about it they're accusing me of "controlling Malden" etc.
Like... doing politics? Do you just show up at the town hall and talk about zoning? Did you get a job there? Or are you trying to determine which politician to support based on how you think the zoning should work?
Yeah I just show up and talk about shit. Start trouble. Push issues I care about. Make jokes. Bring my friends. Make a thing of it. I think people would enjoy municipal politics if they brought more friends. It's like a sport, except instead of the ball they're fighting over, it's like, your town.
That said, your zoning decisions seem reasonable. How much of the liquor license stuff is based in dirty politics, by the way? I always felt like there's probably a lot of corruption around those, since they're limited and desirable.
The word is that you are correct in most towns. We shall see. The Licensing Board controls them and they're very mysterious.
As affordable low and middle class housing is a big issue in the area, wouldn't you want to allow 12 stories everywhere? Or are the homeowners worried that'll drop the town's property values?
You hit the nail on the head. The young kids and immigrants want taller buildings and cheaper rents. The old property owners who know all the local stuff to vote in, want shorter buildings. So if you're on the rent affordability side it's about informing the kids and outreach to the immigrants. Among other groups. But I'm doing a lot of that. Luckily the kids and the immigrants like Bernie a lot. as well as other people.
Honestly, nearly nobody I know is going to be owning any homes any time soon. So I'm mostly on the side of the renters. But I don't necessarily like or trust big developers either. Although some say I am in a conspiracy with them.
