Warren Lynch Shitpost General - TRUE and HONEST (former) John Flynt for Congress campaign worker

[W person cow]

What if I only post about hairstyles

 

[Peace and Harmony]

You gonna find yourself a new candidate to work for dude?

 

[Corbin Dallas Multipass]

What if I only post about hairstyles

Hey man, I signed up after you left the first time.

I wanted to ask you about your comment about wanting to work with the most progressive candidate, even if it's only lip service. Do you truly feel that way? Do you not worry that such an approach leaves you incredibly vulnerable to working for the best liar, rather than the candidate most likely to accomplish the progressive goals you value?

Also, my other question is, what made you decide to come here and engage people? I'm legitimately curious, it's hard to imagine a political goal there, so I have to assume it was personal somehow. Were you actually trying to find out about Wu, were you trying to change people's minds? Were you trying to convince yourself that all the stuff documented here was false?

Also, thanks for being such an incredibly good sport. It's very interesting to get into the head of people with a very different perspective, and I hope you got some perspective on views different from your own.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

What if I only post about hairstyles

That would be excellent.

Please begin with the tonsorial techniques your former employer uses in his inept attempts to conceal his male pattern baldness.

In your expert opion, should John begin wearing very large hats decorated with flowers and ostrich plumes? Should he purchase a wig? (If he wants to retain his current recently-slain-heroin-addict look, I believe there is line of Morticia Adams Horsehair Wigs on the market.) Is he a member of the Hair Club for Men? Is a can of black spray paint a feasible option?

 

[ZKWNordman]

What if I only post about hairstyles

Aqua Teen bomb scare reference. As you and the kids say? Dank

How frequently do you wash your hair?

 

[W person cow]

You gonna find yourself a new candidate to work for dude?

Nah. You might say Brianna pays badly but the other ones are just as bad or worse. All these people in Malden keep saying I should run for City Council myself instead. It would definitely be a giant circus if I did

Hey man, I signed up after you left the first time.

I wanted to ask you about your comment about wanting to work with the most progressive candidate, even if it's only lip service. Do you truly feel that way? Do you not worry that such an approach leaves you incredibly vulnerable to working for the best liar, rather than the candidate most likely to accomplish the progressive goals you value?

It depends. Some candidates are so invested in their image as a fake progressive that they actually go out and do progressive stuff. But others, not so much. Elizabeth Warren seems like a fake sometimes, but other times she does amazing stuff. Whereas Tim Kaine is all talk, and his votes are nearly 50% with Trump.

Also, my other question is, what made you decide to come here and engage people? I'm legitimately curious, it's hard to imagine a political goal there, so I have to assume it was personal somehow. Were you actually trying to find out about Wu, were you trying to change people's minds? Were you trying to convince yourself that all the stuff documented here was false?

Mostly amusement. And surprise that I got so many compliments in the same place with vicious insults. Arguing with trolls seems to me to be a normal part of politics to me. Some pols like to try to ignore or censor their trolls. I like to respond to mine in case they are saying something valid.

I agree with trolls here that:
-I use too many hashtags
-My game's current version gives a "40k ripoff vibe"
So that's good advice.

But I also wanted to point out that:
-Pony Trouble does not in fact have rape scenes in it
-My girlfriend does not kill cats, and is nice to them

But almost all the other stuff about me is probably pretty true and funny.

Also, thanks for being such an incredibly good sport. It's very interesting to get into the head of people with a very different perspective, and I hope you got some perspective on views different from your own.

Thanks, I try!

 

[Bassomatic]

Nah. You might say Brianna pays badly but the other ones are just as bad or worse. All these people in Malden keep saying I should run for City Council myself instead. It would definitely be a giant circus if I did

Please do that, for a lot of reasons, I honestly mean it.

 

[W person cow]

Aqua Teen bomb scare reference. As you and the kids say? Dank

How frequently do you wash your hair?

I am friends with the guy who got arrested in the Aqua Teen scare. He is a pretty cool video artist. His girlfriend at the time of incident was my assistant director on Pony Trouble. She left him because he doesn't believe in ponies
If you have hair as curly as mine and you wash it wrong or too much, it goes all frizzy. So I go for every couple or few days, with lots of gross greasy product.

Well actually there were two guys who got arrested in the Aqua Teen scare, one with dreads and one without dreads. The one with dreads is my friend, and the one without dreads hates me, lol.

 

[Particle Bored]

Mostly amusement. And surprise that I got so many compliments in the same place with vicious insults. Arguing with trolls seems to me to be a normal part of politics to me. Some pols like to try to ignore or censor their trolls. I like to respond to mine in case they are saying something valid.

I agree with trolls here that:
-I use too many hashtags
-My game's current version gives a "40k ripoff vibe"
So that's good advice.

But I also wanted to point out that:
-Pony Trouble does not in fact have rape scenes in it
-My girlfriend does not kill cats, and is nice to them

But almost all the other stuff about me is probably pretty true and funny.


Thanks, I try!

“Fearlessly strolls into critics’ turf, hears their complaints and criticisms, reevaluates his positions where he feels it is warranted but sticks to his guns when he knows he’s right.”

 

[Dimethyl Ketone]

@W person cow -- Wanna hang out?

 

[W person cow]

For the record, Dimethyl Ketone was joking or lying when he or she said we spoke by private message.

I guess his friends thought it was more of a dig than it really was. His puppy dog enthusiasm and odd mannerisms seemed like an odd match for Briana Wu, who accordingly looks a lot like both Yzma and also a llama.

No, you look like a llama!
I didn't think it was a dig, I thought it was funny. I like the idea that I'm a goofy guy from a Disney movie.
Maybe my friends thought the "bro" part was weird though cause I'm definitely one of those "girly men" who hangs out with mostly women, does art, sucks at basketball, and has kind of a lisp. Despite my hard working, dirty shoes and possible bravery, I'm probably not much of a bro. But if a bro means like "tries to be honest and respectful" then yes. But I don't have like, muscles, or hang out with all dudes, or that kind of thing.

 

[Very Honest Content]

Who on the city council would you run against in Malden if you go for it Warren? I have no information about local politics there, but enjoy the Kroster fed tidbits we get in this subforum, and wonder how you plan to possibly approach the challenge if you decide to accept it next year?

 

[W person cow]

Who on the city council would you run against in Malden if you go for it Warren? I have no information about local politics there, but enjoy the Kroster fed tidbits we get in this subforum, and wonder how you plan to possibly approach the challenge if you decide to accept it next year?

His name is Paul Condon. Some call him Condonsaurus. He's about 70 years old, and one of those "Democrats in name only" like Stephen Lynch. He hasn't been to a Democratic Convention, or even a Democrat meeting, once in the 18 months I've been looking. But that in itself isn't necessarily bad. I've had beef with the Democrats myself.

But he's also close buddies with this guy Neil Kinnon, who is a really off-the-deep-end Alex Jones type guy that my friends and I got to resign in disgrace from the City Council last year.

Kinnon has gone from the 3rd most popular Councillor to a citywide laughing stock in the past 2 years, mostly because of my friends and I making fun of him, and publicizing his antics. We basically made him into a local version of a lolcow. He says I am "adjusting building heights in Malden using socialist Sharia witch law" and that I'm in a conspiracy with the mayor, the media, all protestors, the other Councillors, and George Soros to "make him look racist, and make (other councillor) Ryan O'Malley king of Malden". He says I am a communist revolutionary in the style of Che Guavara, and that I rob banks and shoot people, and that my girlfriend is casting evil spells on Malden to turn all the Democrats into Nazis.

Which is all highly amusing, and the people of Malden have a good laugh with me about it. We got Kinnon in the Boston Globe 3 times now for his racist comments and bizarre outbursts, and people write shocked letters to the Malden Tab and Malden Advocate about him a lot. He makes Stephen Lynch look non-racist by comparison, and he makes even *me* look super sane and stable by comparison. When he talks on any subject, you get the impression he is about 10 seconds away from beating somebody to death right then and there. I don't know if it is alcohol or steroids or just bad life choices or what, but I have baited him into swearing on television numerous times, screaming while holding a pamphlet over his face, and other rotfl-worthy stuff. He absolutely cannot stand to be disagreed with. Yet his opinions are all extremely bizarre. Definite lolcow material.

Even though Kinnon resigned (and we blocked him from getting the job of City Treasurer too), he comes to City Council a lot anyway to sit in the audience and whisper stuff to people. Last Tuesday he and Condon were whispering and giggling together the whole time. So that's pretty sad. Condon also voted for Kinnon for treasurer. And when Kinnon was still in the Council, Condon voted with Kinnon most of the time.

I think that the people of Malden don't want more of Kinnon, or Kinnon policy, or Kinnon buddies. And I also think Condon is old and kind of phoning it in, and never brings up anything original. And the people of Malden voted for recreational cannabis, which Condon is against. And the people of Malden want public comment periods, which Kinnon voted against. And we want the lead out of our water, which he was semi-involved in covering up.

However, unlike Kinnon, Condon seems relatively sane and nice. He does not jump off the stage and start yelling at a disabled lady in the audience. He does not swear on television or scream behind pamphlets. Some people have told me that he listens to constituents, and is well-liked.

So I will have to find out if this is true. If people truly do like him, I might not run. But if it's like some of my friends say, and people think he's a do-nothing DINO dinosaur and a Kinnon toady, then I'll have to (verbally) whoop his ass on local access, for Malden's sake.

Although I'll try to keep the campaign positive. Not that I'm at all good at that, lol. But there is some rumor that if I run, he will just graciously step down. If he does that, that would be very good manners, and I would write a nice essay praising his years of service and whatnot.

It was Condon who voted against public comment, not Kinnon. Typo. Kinnon resigned before public comment was brought up.

 

[Peace and Harmony]

No contradiction between these two posts, Warren?

 

[Very Honest Content]

His name is Paul Condon. Some call him Condonsaurus. He's about 70 years old, and one of those "Democrats in name only" like Stephen Lynch...
But he's also close buddies with this guy Neil Kinnon, who is a really off-the-deep-end Alex Jones type guy that my friends and I got to resign in disgrace from the City Council last year...He says I am a communist revolutionary in the style of Che Guavara, and that I rob banks and shoot people, and that my girlfriend is casting evil spells on Malden to turn all the Democrats into Nazis...I don't know if it is alcohol or steroids or just bad life choices or what, but I have baited him into swearing on television numerous times, screaming while holding a pamphlet over his face, and other rotfl-worthy stuff. He absolutely cannot stand to be disagreed with. Yet his opinions are all extremely bizarre. Definite lolcow material..I think that the people of Malden don't want more of Kinnon, or Kinnon policy, or Kinnon buddies. And I also think Condon is old and kind of phoning it in, and never brings up anything original. And the people of Malden voted for recreational cannabis, which Condon is against...So I will have to find out if this is true. If people truly do like him, I might not run. But if it's like some of my friends say, and people think he's a do-nothing DINO dinosaur and a Kinnon toady, then I'll have to (verbally) whoop his ass on local access, for Malden's sake.

Although I'll try to keep the campaign positive. Not that I'm at all good at that, lol. But there is some rumor that if I run, he will just graciously step down. If he does that, that would be very good manners, and I would write a nice essay praising his years of service and whatnot.

That's interesting backstory to one of the more outrageous details you threw out a few pages back that had me confused, the whole 'sharia building height' thing. Aggressive behavior and irritability are common signs of lead poisoning too, so there's that to consider with Kinnon potentially.

Are you familiar with this series at all Warren? I didn't bring it up when you were affiliated with the Wu campaign because, let's face it, I want to see John fail every step of the way on the path to his eventual grave, but you seem alright so I figure it might be of some help to you as a neophyte if you decide the people of your town want to seek true progressive leadership from elsewhere other than a near extinct Condonsaurus in the near future.

 

[Human Institute Director]

Just read this whole thread. I usually wouldn't give a shit about some dude going out of his way to get scammed. Do stupid shit, receive stupid shit. But Warren is a good sport, strangely endearing and very patient despite lots of people trying way too hard to convince him. But these guys are right and it took far too long for Warren to begin to accept the truth (even now he's partly blinded by the looks Wu put up).

So yeah I somehow started rooting for you Warren. But for fuck sake learn to defend yourself instead of defending the assholes who'd prey on you.

 

[Clockwork Dragon]

But for fuck sake learn to defend yourself instead of defending the assholes who'd prey on you.

All he seems to care about is if someone calls themselves (labels themselves) ~Progressive.~ He doesn't seem to get that actions speak louder than words, especially in Brianna's case. (Look at what she is actually doing rather than what she says she is doing, for God's sake, Warren.) He seems to have given the other candidates a hairy eyeball, but not Brianna, and I can't figure out why, unless it is because of the all-powerful P-word.

 

[Dimethyl Ketone]

@W person cow - I have a message from Mr. Rogers. Yes, I am skilled in the occult arts.

Spoiler: He says...

 

[W person cow]

No contradiction between these two posts, Warren?

I share responsibility for protecting immigrant families by trolling Sarah Sanders

Aggressive behavior and irritability are common signs of lead poisoning too, so there's that to consider with Kinnon potentially.

Me and Kinnon have these things in common. Aggressive behavior, irritability, and probable lead poisoning. Condon must drink bottled water though, because he always seems half asleep instead of mad.

 

[Peace and Harmony]

I share responsibility for protecting immigrant families by trolling Sarah Sanders

Yeah I guess denying minorities service must be just "trolling" too eh? Get your life together nigga.