Warren Lynch Shitpost General - TRUE and HONEST (former) John Flynt for Congress campaign worker

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It hasn't shown up on any of their financial disclosures so far. It's possible they could have bought it sometime between January and now (we'll see in a few weeks), but I somehow doubt it.

They have no money for this quarter, and Warren would be posting about the database if he were using it. It's literally the first thing a serious candidate buys, and my friends who are gearing up for state elections this Fall are fundraising for it now: Wu should have bought access last January.

I'm really looking forwards to the next set of financials. They're my favorite part of this campaign. I'm sad that this one won't have much on it, and that there won't be many more.
 
How much does the database cost?

They charge differently depending on which race you're running, which is roughly supposed to be a marker for how much money you're able to raise and how much you can budget to it. It's about $1000 if you're running for a city seat, $3000 if you're running for state rep. I don't know how much to run for Congress but I'd guess anywhere between $6000-$10,000. It's a one-time expense, and you have access from whenever you buy access until your election, so it's also worth it to buy earlier so that you can get more use out of it.
 
They charge differently depending on which race you're running, which is roughly supposed to be a marker for how much money you're able to raise and how much you can budget to it. It's about $1000 if you're running for a city seat, $3000 if you're running for state rep. I don't know how much to run for Congress but I'd guess anywhere between $6000-$10,000.
Oh yeah, then there's absolutely no way Wu & Wu are getting their hands on it.
By my reckoning, the biggest single cash "resource" they're sitting on right now is Frank's ability to make a loan to the campaign. He's only donated $23 in cash, and while he's run up a couple thousand dollars' worth of loans to the campaign at various points (mostly floating some expenses on his personal credit card), they've all been paid back and he's squared away. But he could do it again if he wanted, or just donate cash up to the legal limit. That maxes out at something like $2000.

The campaign also has something like $250 a month worth of recurring "subscription" donations, so their current cash on hand might have broken 4 digits again since the last report, but it'd be nowhere near enough.
 
The Scandinavian nations are not socialist, Warren. It's an antiquated meme and a stupid one.

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John fiddles while Warren burns. Sad.

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Warren is running out of places to bug people for signatures and the rejection is getting to him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he throws in the towel soon.
 
I'd like to see this as the beginning of the plot twist where Warren is tired, exhausted, beaten...realizing that he's been working himself to death for a candidate who has no chance of winning and who cares nothing for him, who can't even be bothered to tell him she won't be at her events until she's literally already supposed to be there, who spends all her time playing games and tweeting nonsense about her plans for he next brand new sports car...until he is awakened by a late night phone call from an unknown number. "Hello, Warren," says the caller. "It's your cousin."

TO BE CONTINUED
 
I'd like to see this as the beginning of the plot twist where Warren is tired, exhausted, beaten...realizing that he's been working himself to death for a candidate who has no chance of winning and who cares nothing for him, who can't even be bothered to tell him she won't be at her events until she's literally already supposed to be there, who spends all her time playing games and tweeting nonsense about her plans for he next brand new sports car...until he is awakened by a late night phone call from an unknown number. "Hello, Warren," says the caller. "It's your cousin."

TO BE CONTINUED
It's the one where the smoking man shows up and tells him Wu is an alien wearing a deceased human's skin, a certain human by the name of John W Flynt,
 
He's doing the best he can with the resources he has. It's the best any of us can say. Unfortunately for him, he lacks emotional, mental, monetary, institutional, sober living, campaign, or managerial resources.



Yes but I'm almost positive that the Wu campaign never paid to access the database he'd need. It's a really amazing database of voters that Democrats in MA have access to if they pay for it, and it's usually the very first thing in a campaign's budget. I don't think they ever bought it, instead dedicating all of the campaign money to sandwiches, video equipment, and traveling to tech conventions.

But even if they had the database it's not really worth their time to go through the signatures. Signatures can be discounted for all sorts of things, including being too illegible for the clerk to read. That's why it's better to concentrate on targeting who you're getting signatures from, and to get about 15% more than you need at a minimum.

I believe the Massachusetts Secretary of States office explicitly recommends 4000 signatures. Just to insure you survive challenges.

Bless your warped and marijuana-encrusted heart, Warren.

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Apparently there really are no stoned gender confused ex-transsexual atheists in campaign foxholes.
 
Despite his being a complete lunatic, I'm legit starting to feel sorry for Warren at this point. His cheerful, misguided optimism about Flu is heartwarming in a way, and it pains me just a little bit to see her shit on him repeatedly with promises to show up at "events" and such. Her treatment of Warren is indicative of just how terrible of a person she really is, I can't imagine how awful it must've been for those GSK employees that were constantly in close proximity to Flu.
 
Despite his being a complete lunatic, I'm legit starting to feel sorry for Warren at this point. His cheerful, misguided optimism about Flu is heartwarming in a way, and it pains me just a little bit to see her shit on him repeatedly with promises to show up at "events" and such. Her treatment of Warren is indicative of just how terrible of a person she really is, I can't imagine how awful it must've been for those GSK employees that were constantly in close proximity to Flu.
Wu treats his dogs the same way. Or pretty much anyone or thing that serves an ends to means for his ego.

Warren reminds me of the dogs. Just wanted to be loved and rolled a really shitty life tied to Wu.
 
Despite his being a complete lunatic, I'm legit starting to feel sorry for Warren at this point. His cheerful, misguided optimism about Flu is heartwarming in a way, and it pains me just a little bit to see her shit on him repeatedly with promises to show up at "events" and such. Her treatment of Warren is indicative of just how terrible of a person she really is, I can't imagine how awful it must've been for those GSK employees that were constantly in close proximity to Flu.

I tried to hate him, but I can't. His puppy-like naivete has a certain charm to it, as nuts as he is. You get the impression he could actually get shit done if given a little direction, but unfortunately he's hitched his star to a completely apathetic sociopathic pathological liar like John. John is coming across like a cartoon villain mistreating his dumb but affable henchman. You can bet John will blame this poor dude when he doesn't get on the ballot, despite the fact that John didn't even lift a finger to promote his own fake campaign.
 
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