- Joined
- Nov 25, 2018
Meet Chantal’s biggest fans: The Very Important Beezers (VIBs).
Imagine the dumbest person you’ve ever encountered. Now disregard that thought because it will soon be replaced by visions of a class of lolcalfs known as the Very Important Beezers (VIBs) or beezers for short. “Beezing” is a near-meaningless term Chantal/Foodie Beauty, a self-proclaimed “Queen Beezer,” has coined to describe the act of misbehaving, hanging out with friends, consuming obscene amounts of hard drugs or fast food, or whatever your heart desires. Equal parts intellectual disability, learned helplessness, personality disorder, and willful ignorance, the VIBs comprise a considerable proportion of Chantal/Foodie Beauty’s fanbase and monthly income as well as the majority of the positive attention she receives. Mirroring their massive matriarch as Mini Chantals, VIBs are renowned for their slovenly, dimwitted, and low-life nature as a significant amount of Chantal’s boomer and/or wine-mom orbiters, usually as obese, unhinged, and unaccomplished as Chantal, are lolcows. As evidenced by the bevy of VIB discussion in the Chantal thread, the more you observe some VIBs, the more gold you may find. To make such information searchable and easily accessible and to localize all discussion and resources regarding the Mini Chantals, this thread needs to be made.
A Typology of Retards
Like all other wild animals, VIBs can be loosely arranged into groups: concerned, well-meaning parental figures, oftentimes lonely older women with the most prominent examples being Gail Jones and Annie P; attention-seeking Cluster B contemporaries whose obsessive, erratic behavior patterns eerily resemble Chantal’s who make it their mission to be as outwardly unhinged as possible such as Che Guevara and Miss Holly; A-Logs and provocateurs, each possessing a varying degree of seething and sanctimony, that attempt to goad Chantal into a meltdown by pointing out her hypocrisies and shutting down her delusions, examples include E G and L; and harmless playful trolls, some being gimmick accounts, that exist solely for the sake of causing confusion and chaos by inserting nonsensical comments into the conversation, making up laughably weak rumors, or by asking out-of-left-field questions, with notable examples being Jean Does Sharp Farts and Accountable Beauty.
While there is considerable diversity and guaranteed stupidity in Chantal’s chat participants, Chantal’s VIBs all share one defining feature: the ability for Chantal to block them. Due to her astronomically inflated sense of self, paper-thin skin, utter lack of emotional self-regulation, and frequent mania because of prolonged stimulant abuse, Chantal will find any and all reason, justified or not, to block and silence any dissenting opinion or idea that goes against whatever her unstable lizard brain believes in that moment. Flowing from the same bountiful vein of instability and because of the noticeable void in attention their absence yields as Chantal’s members carry her oftentimes incoherent streams by talking amongst themselves, Chantal always unblocks the offending beezer with the cycle beginning anew, despite vowing to never unblock anyone each time.
Notable Examples
Similar in form to the Munchausen’s by Internet (Munchie) thread, this post will serve as a springboard on which future discussion will be launched. If a singular entity is found worthy of a thread of their own, we will organize accordingly. The following is a non-exhaustive list of notable examples of Very Important Beezers and a brief synopsis of who they are and what they are notable for…
Ex-husband Bill
The Future of Memberships
By virtue of Chantal’s orbit attracting several remarkable lolcows that have yet to blossom and reach their full potential, with the necessitation of a Kiwi Farms thread for her now-transgender house imp, it was high time that an earmarked thread for the Very Important Beezers (VIB) was created. While I have not provided an exhaustive list of subjects worth watching, a thread’s first post should always provide a foundation on which further discussion and research can be developed. By all means, and for the sake of keeping this first post of readable length, I encourage everyone to research their favorite VIBs and post down-thread. I want to share some of the fun in researching these glorious lolcalfs as it seems that new ones are made every week!
Despite Chantal’s Foodie Beauty YouTube channel being terminated on March 9th, an event that led to Chantal skittering to other subscription and streaming platforms, such an event has not slowed down the lunacy exhibited by her most devout followers. At the time of writing this, the rise of Chantal’s corporate office-themed comeback channel, The Beezer Show, has been monetized and is eligible for memberships. Even better news, on the evening of March 28th, 2022, Chantal’s tumultuous 38th birthday and the eve of her Cuba trip, the Foodie Beauty channel has been miraculously reinstated. In turn, the YouTube members that inspired this thread are allowed to roam free once again in their native pastures. Try as her detractors might, you can’t punt the gunt.
Imagine the dumbest person you’ve ever encountered. Now disregard that thought because it will soon be replaced by visions of a class of lolcalfs known as the Very Important Beezers (VIBs) or beezers for short. “Beezing” is a near-meaningless term Chantal/Foodie Beauty, a self-proclaimed “Queen Beezer,” has coined to describe the act of misbehaving, hanging out with friends, consuming obscene amounts of hard drugs or fast food, or whatever your heart desires. Equal parts intellectual disability, learned helplessness, personality disorder, and willful ignorance, the VIBs comprise a considerable proportion of Chantal/Foodie Beauty’s fanbase and monthly income as well as the majority of the positive attention she receives. Mirroring their massive matriarch as Mini Chantals, VIBs are renowned for their slovenly, dimwitted, and low-life nature as a significant amount of Chantal’s boomer and/or wine-mom orbiters, usually as obese, unhinged, and unaccomplished as Chantal, are lolcows. As evidenced by the bevy of VIB discussion in the Chantal thread, the more you observe some VIBs, the more gold you may find. To make such information searchable and easily accessible and to localize all discussion and resources regarding the Mini Chantals, this thread needs to be made.
A Typology of Retards
Like all other wild animals, VIBs can be loosely arranged into groups: concerned, well-meaning parental figures, oftentimes lonely older women with the most prominent examples being Gail Jones and Annie P; attention-seeking Cluster B contemporaries whose obsessive, erratic behavior patterns eerily resemble Chantal’s who make it their mission to be as outwardly unhinged as possible such as Che Guevara and Miss Holly; A-Logs and provocateurs, each possessing a varying degree of seething and sanctimony, that attempt to goad Chantal into a meltdown by pointing out her hypocrisies and shutting down her delusions, examples include E G and L; and harmless playful trolls, some being gimmick accounts, that exist solely for the sake of causing confusion and chaos by inserting nonsensical comments into the conversation, making up laughably weak rumors, or by asking out-of-left-field questions, with notable examples being Jean Does Sharp Farts and Accountable Beauty.
While there is considerable diversity and guaranteed stupidity in Chantal’s chat participants, Chantal’s VIBs all share one defining feature: the ability for Chantal to block them. Due to her astronomically inflated sense of self, paper-thin skin, utter lack of emotional self-regulation, and frequent mania because of prolonged stimulant abuse, Chantal will find any and all reason, justified or not, to block and silence any dissenting opinion or idea that goes against whatever her unstable lizard brain believes in that moment. Flowing from the same bountiful vein of instability and because of the noticeable void in attention their absence yields as Chantal’s members carry her oftentimes incoherent streams by talking amongst themselves, Chantal always unblocks the offending beezer with the cycle beginning anew, despite vowing to never unblock anyone each time.
Notable Examples
Similar in form to the Munchausen’s by Internet (Munchie) thread, this post will serve as a springboard on which future discussion will be launched. If a singular entity is found worthy of a thread of their own, we will organize accordingly. The following is a non-exhaustive list of notable examples of Very Important Beezers and a brief synopsis of who they are and what they are notable for…
- Plain Cheeseburger: Perhaps Chantal’s most loathed and notorious sycophant as well as one of her closest confidants, bearing titanic mass nearly on par with the alpha gunt, this beezer is active in Chantal’s chat at all hours of the day. How do we know this? Upon entry, viewers of the guntstream are greeted with the sound of Chantal screeching her name of course!
- Miss Holly: One of Chantal’s more unhinged members, Holly Roggow fashions herself a victim of narcissistic abuse as her personal YouTube channel, now scrubbed, was dedicated to oversharing personal details regarding her dubious relationships. For reasons unknown, she has made it her mission to relay the details of her romantic woes to unsuspecting chat members while trying to convince Chantal that her relationship with Nader, a bunny-boiling-obsessive relationship founded on desperation and sustained by a meaty monthly income in which all evidence points to Chantal being the lunatic, is a “textbook” “narcissistic abusive” one: a term the Instagram psychological school of thought loves to toss around.
- Che Guevara: As a self-proclaimed murder victim of 13 years, Che is the most painfully stupid VIB of them all. From accusing random VIBs of doxing her, despite providing her full name and past and present states of residence in chat, to threatening to kill random Discord users and threatening to assault other VIBs, that engage in her orbit of stupidity, Che never fails to entertain and dumbfound onlookers. Atop all this, the hobgoblin takes an overwhelmingly clingy approach to viewing Chantal, demanding that Chantal greets her every time she makes an appearance and complaining about Chantal not answering her innumerable messages or countless creepy emails.
- Marisa:Despite currently taking a backseat approach to guntwatching, Marisa Jones Lundrigan remains one of Chantal’s confidants. As one of Chantal’s original fans and censorious moderators, it is no surprise the two have meshed so well: the pair form a duo of insufferable, sour cunts.
- Annie P:A big, retarded family would be woefully incomplete without the clueless grandma. Anne Perkins acts as the innocent mother figure of the beezer clan and is known for her unaware and oblivious nature and is usually the last person to catch onto Chantal’s current lie: the best example being whether Chantal was “back” with Nader.
- Mistress Rebecca:A more recent admission into the Guntal Cinematic Universe (GCU), but this has not stopped her from being a volatile presence. Rebecca Bezet's main claim to fame is being accused of distributing child pornography in Chantal detractor servers. Secondary to this, when she isn’t busy lurking the Beauty Parlor chatroom and providing Chantal links to reaction channels stream sniping Chantal’s paywall content for Chantal to report, she is offering to stream snipe Chantal’s paywall content.
- Sofa King: Among the creepier of the cast, Sofa King, possible first name Michael, made his first appearance near the beginning of Chantal’s livestreaming career as a light-hearted troll. Over time, he began to increasingly suck up to Chantal. Now, he is her lead moderator possessing a similar personality to KarateJoe and given the slow shutter speed of Chantal’s anal sphincter, Sofa King is one of the few things that can stay lodged in Chantal’s anus.
- Ashley Lamborghini:An unlikely addition to the expected cast, Ashley Lamborghini or “Lambo” looks like your run-of-the-mill Instagram influencer which may explain why Chantal believes she has found a kindred spirit. Some users have hypothesized that Ashley is a troon or a catfish, or some permutation, but these claims have been deemed unlikely. She, Sofa King, and Plain Cheeseburger, known as "The Holy Trinity," form a trio of ass-kissers that Chantal listens to without question.
- Sandy and Ang: As a lesbian couple from Canada owning and operating a small YouTube channel while living with an ex-husband, the Great Goblin and Grimace are some of Chantal’s most devout supporters. Grotesque, haggard appearance notwithstanding and with their combined IQ hovering somewhere in the below average range, the pair have produced several abysmally pathetic, incoherent videos in which they sloppily defend Chantal, all of which have been panned by Chantal supporters.
- E G: In the running for the Most Blocked Beezer, E G is perhaps Chantal’s harshest and most persistent detractor. A great balloon pricker, E G consistently shuts down and stomps on Chantal’s delusions and laughs at her hypocrisies in such a precise way. Expectedly, E G has been partially responsible for several legendary chimpouts: the most recent of which involved E G leaking OnlyFans content into the VIB Discord server, namely, the infamous bathtub and marshmallow Peep video.
- L: Similar to E G, but more sanctimonious and of less comedic value, L is the resident IdPol-based provocateur that accuses Chantal of being all the -isms and -ics across seething paragraphs of predictable Tumblr- and Twitter-speak.
- Accountable Beauty: Largely a gimmick account, Accountable Beauty functions as a troll that makes outlandish claims about Chantal’s relationship status with Nader and her taxes, while demanding that she addresses rumors, laughably false rumors about Chantal that can be easily disproven. Over time, Chantal has learned to love them as AB serves as comedic relief during boring streams.
- KarateJoe:While not technically a beezer, Chantal’s most notorious moderator known for his obsession with Chantal, overall creepy behavior, and his manual removal of any and all criticism directed at Chantal at all hours of the day was exposed as convicted child rapist Joseph Lee Wendt in September 2021. Following this, Joe has fallen off the radar.
- Mike Deering:Second-in-command to Joe, oftentimes butting heads for the title of most intellectually deficient Chantal simp, Mike Deering was a moderator before the advent of channel memberships. Without the sex crimes against children, Mike was nearly functionally identical to Joe. Following an unexplained absence and somber period on Chantal's part, it was confirmed in June 2021 that Mike is dead. His girlfriend confirmed over Facebook that he died of "significant brain damage." During his life, Mike struggled with drug addiction as evidenced by Chantal exploiting his suffering during her time pretending to be a drug addict. When Mike's death had become public, Chantal had vowed to dedicate a livestream in honor of his death and in his memory; to this day, Chantal has failed to deliver as no such livestream has ever occurred.
- Vegan4Life: A former fan of Chantal’s, Vegan4Life is known for her role in one of Chantal’s many controversies in the past year in which she donated, unprovoked, several hundred dollars to Chantal in hopes that she takes her elderly cat to the vet. Given Chantal’s smug and defiant nature, she neglected to take her cat to the vet for several months, a period Vegan4Life found unsatisfactory and thus demanded a refund. The animal rights activist took it upon herself to cause as much uproar as possible within the Guntalverse which ended in several dozen members leaving on their own accord or blocked by Queen Beezer herself.
Ex-husband Bill
The Future of Memberships
By virtue of Chantal’s orbit attracting several remarkable lolcows that have yet to blossom and reach their full potential, with the necessitation of a Kiwi Farms thread for her now-transgender house imp, it was high time that an earmarked thread for the Very Important Beezers (VIB) was created. While I have not provided an exhaustive list of subjects worth watching, a thread’s first post should always provide a foundation on which further discussion and research can be developed. By all means, and for the sake of keeping this first post of readable length, I encourage everyone to research their favorite VIBs and post down-thread. I want to share some of the fun in researching these glorious lolcalfs as it seems that new ones are made every week!
Despite Chantal’s Foodie Beauty YouTube channel being terminated on March 9th, an event that led to Chantal skittering to other subscription and streaming platforms, such an event has not slowed down the lunacy exhibited by her most devout followers. At the time of writing this, the rise of Chantal’s corporate office-themed comeback channel, The Beezer Show, has been monetized and is eligible for memberships. Even better news, on the evening of March 28th, 2022, Chantal’s tumultuous 38th birthday and the eve of her Cuba trip, the Foodie Beauty channel has been miraculously reinstated. In turn, the YouTube members that inspired this thread are allowed to roam free once again in their native pastures. Try as her detractors might, you can’t punt the gunt.
Ready, set, beeze!
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for the thread, Can't wait to see the unmitigated panic among her remora-level followers from this.
, but I do know that I saw this clip of her falling off of a cheap stripper pole the other day and laughed my fucking ass off. 
POLE DANCING FAIL
SMOKE W ME!
