UN Venezuela Megathread - Mercenaries 2 references galore! Cubanodun is MVP

With the news of an attempted army uprising ending in many arrests happening in the troubled nation, I think now is the time to just say 'Post all Venezuela related news here'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-40843494

The civil war is upon us.

 

[Ghostse]

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Brother

It is over

Over? In what way has Maduro been churroed? He is out of the shit hole that VZ, alive, and will obviously use his retard luck to beat whatever charges are brought against him.

I'm shit posting but also partly serious. I am expecting him to beat the charges, I will laugh my ass off if he goes back to VZ and gets reelected in 2030 ater the opposition shows themselves to be as or more incompetent

Real talk: So he obviously lost the election and is thus viable for a snatch and grab like this, but he was still the effective leader of the country. We just abducted a head of state, 1800s Bri'ish style. I am still processing this is some real upheaval shit.

Nothingburger, Maduro negotiated his exit. When I see Diosdado dead we will be talking

This. Maduro waits out the chaos in the US, returns to lead his buckbroken people, the line will then return to normal as it will be as if nothing ever happened.

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Caracas got bombed.

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@LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]

Ok, but did anything actually happen?

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2025/12/5/opening-pandoras-box-what-happens-if-the-us-attacks-venezuela

From a few weeks ago. Al Jazeera has to hold this L

Al Jizz simps for Hamas who will lose most of their remaining funding if Cartel Del Sol goes under. But i've yet to see anything to show they are wrong, there is no US ground operation.

See it go nowhere

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I don't see this going anywhere of note.

Im so ready for acting president marco rubio

Almost every Iraqi who was adult at the time of the US invasion is adament the best post-Saddam leader Iraq has had was Paul Bremer.
Years after the invasion, the consenus on the street was they wanted the US to remove their troops but leave Bremer. Nigga probably would have won the Iraqi Presidential election if he'd run.

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I'd like to formally apologize to @Ghostse in this thread. Something did indeed happen. We owe you all the churros.

If this is real then @Ghostse owes the whole thread churros.

Call me when something happens. The US just went in, bombed some cartel stuff, arrested a drug lord.
No US ground invasion. Maduro is far from churroed, he'll beat the charges in court provided the next democrat president doesn't just pardon him.
US probably got a body double.

 

[Armor King]

Well well well

 

[Breadbassket]

Anyone have any predictions for who will succeed Maduro?

 

[Diggus Bickus]

Call me when something happens. The US just went in, bombed some cartel stuff, arrested a drug lord.
No US ground invasion. Maduro is far from churroed, he'll beat the charges in court provided the next democrat president doesn't just pardon him.
US probably got a body double.

I'm unsure why your daddy would be live tweeting about it if it was just a body double.

 

[Super-Chevy454]

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I'm unsure why your daddy would be live tweeting about it if it was just a body double.

How big the chances then that photo of Maduro become a internet meme?

 

[Fellen]

Anyone have any predictions for who will succeed Maduro?

 

[Diggus Bickus]

How big the chances then that photo of Maduro become a internet meme?

Lmao it already did. Everyone in venezuela is using the image to shitpost

 

[Cubanodun]

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I'm unsure why your daddy would be live tweeting about it if it was just a body double.

So the best body double they found was Dr Disrespect?

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Anyone have any predictions for who will succeed Maduro?

Venezuela has its first female president. Delcy Rodriguez.

Sorry Maria Corina.

 

[Cubanodun]

Venezuela has its first female president. Delcy Rodriguez.

Is funny she was hiding on Russia and Putin told her to return so they could start the transition of power, Jorge is missing tho

 

[Ghostse]

Anyone have any predictions for who will succeed Maduro?

Are we talking internationally recognized who who in the Maduro administration will try to take the reigns?

tl;dr: (trying to stick to facts and not shitpost. its hard)
Maduro lost the election to El Mundo. I am assuming if Trump is making a move, they have or can get the records to prove it.
This would mean Edmundo is the legitimate President.
However, he had to get some sort of heart surgery back in May(?) and thus handed the role of President of Venezuela to Maria Corina Machado.

As the (once election results are proven) legimate president, she will take power.

Venezuelans, it is time to accept you are a cursed people. You got your American liberation bombing but somehow got a worse leader than Maduro on the other end.

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I'm unsure why your daddy would be live tweeting about it if it was just a body double.

He's not on the front dude. Fog of war. He's not the first politican to get something wrong.

So the best body double they found was Dr Disrespect?

I mean he's got to do somethign while waiting for the heat to die down from his scandal.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Is funny she was hiding on Russia and Putin told her to return so they could start the transition of power, Jorge is missing tho

Trump and Rubio made it sound like they are negotiation their plans to Make Venezuela Great Again™ directly with her and that she is collaborating.

Seems to me more like they sold Maduro out and are giving the USA what it wants to stay in power while they come up with something else that doesn't involve MCM or Edmundo at all. They talked about transition in the press conference, never specifed transition to what.

 

[Ghostse]

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Caracas got bombed.

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@LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]

also I am hella late on this but am really caught unprepared and playing catchup

Bombs over Baghdad
Fracas over Caracas


I forgot it was a post-holiday weekend with markets closed, have scheduled shit I'm taking care of. I chose the wrong fucking friday to go to bed early and the wrong saturday to have shit I can't reschedule going on. Fuck. I am going to be playing catch up the rest of the weekend. fuck.

 

[Cubanodun]

To the surprise of no one Delcy is on TV saying that the only true President of Venezuela is Maduro and they have to return him, she is really not fooling anyone

 

[No. 7 cat]

Maduro did try to escape, perhaps.

Trump and Rubio made it sound like they are negotiation their plans to Make Venezuela Great Again™ directly with her and that she is collaborating.

Seems to me more like they sold Maduro out and are giving the USA what it wants to stay in power while they come up with something else that doesn't involve MCM or Edmundo at all. They talked about transition in the press conference, never specifed transition to what.

Something like that seems highly possible, Instead of trying to restore the pathetic, but still legitimate opposition, the Chavista Power Vertical could well be left in place for some superficial deal. Hopefully something better has happened.

 

[TowinKarz]

Wake up babe, new Venezuela just dropped!

 

[Armor King]

So how are Venezuelas air def-hahahaha sorry I can't even finish it, its so stupid.

 

[No. 7 cat]

It honestly looks like a deal was made. Fighting state armed Chavista gangs and all that won't arise in that case as they're regime agents who will probably get a mild refresh so they look True and Honest democrats. Perhaps all that happened was that Mr and Mrs Maduro were grabbed, with some degree of betrayal so the new Chavista boss will be less objectionable and Trump pockets a cheap win. There are claims Putin betrayed Maduro in return for or hope that Trump gives him a free hand in Ukraine. Cannot find anyone of standing supporting the claims barring some literal whos doing the 'trust me bro' thing.

 

[Diggus Bickus]

It honestly looks like a deal was made. Fighting state armed Chavista gangs and all that won't arise in that case as they're regime agents who will probably get a mild refresh so they look True and Honest democrats. Perhaps all that happened was that Mr and Mrs Maduro were grabbed, with some degree of betrayal so the new Chavista boss will be less objectionable and Trump pockets a cheap win. There are claims Putin betrayed Maduro in return for or hope that Trump gives him a free hand in Ukraine. Cannot find anyone of standing supporting the claims barring some literal whos doing the 'trust me bro' thing.

A deal was definitely made, that's just the realistic approach to it.

 

[Ghostse]

It honestly looks like a deal was made. Fighting state armed Chavista gangs and all that won't arise in that case as they're regime agents who will probably get a mild refresh so they look True and Honest democrats. Perhaps all that happened was that Mr and Mrs Maduro were grabbed, with some degree of betrayal so the new Chavista boss will be less objectionable and Trump pockets a cheap win. There are claims Putin betrayed Maduro in return for or hope that Trump gives him a free hand in Ukraine. Cannot find anyone of standing supporting the claims barring some literal whos doing the 'trust me bro' thing.

I am way behind but my off hot take till I see evidence:
Maduro let himself be taken once the bombing started. It is the only way he gets out alive for sure. He knows his odds are (in order) Ending up like Gaddafi, ending up like Saddam, and ending up Ceausescu if anyone had half a mind. Surrender to the Americans, get your free trip to New York.